Today is Peter’s shot to talk and I know you’ll all show him lots of love. He doesn’t do it often, but when he does he brings the heart. Thanks, honey, for posting on this tremendously happy/crazy anxious day.
Today is just a day. It’s nothing special on the calendar. It’s just a day, really, in the grand scheme of things.
And for the Mayhew household (geographically split as it is), we’re treating it pretty much like any other day.
Today is the last day that Peyton has to take chemo, that we know of.
You’d think that would bring us great joy, and it does…somewhat…with an asterisk.
Today is probably the most fearful day in our hearts and minds as well. The chemo that has kept the cancer at bay for the past 841 days is going to be no more. In theory, her cancer won’t come back. Not this one anyway. There could be side effects from her treatment. They could manifest themselves tomorrow, next week, next year, in the next 10 years, or never.
We have no control over that. Basically we’re in “wait and see” mode, indefinitely.
That said, I’ve created a little montage to mark this day. One of the first nights after our initial diagnosis, I was at home with Nathaniel and Rachael. Anissa and Peyton were still up at the hospital. I was sitting on the couch staring blankly at the walls. The TV was on (SciFi channel probably…because that’s the ONLY channel), and the latest Enterprise episode popped on. I listened to the intro music from that, without looking at the screen. The song is called “Where my heart will take me” by Russell Watson, and they show pictures of travel throughout history as they play it. It’s pretty inspiring.
Then it dawned on me, that the song isn’t actually about space travel. It’s about the journey. I didn’t know then what the path ahead was going to hold for us. I just knew that it was a dark, painful, frightening path that I did not want to go down.
But I had no choice. My family and I were taking those first initial steps on that trail, without any control whatsoever.
So, on that day, probably 837 days ago, I pictured this “montage”. I remember saying to Anissa, “WHEN we get through this, I’m doing a video.” I think she rolled her eyes at me. It might sound simple, but a lot of you have not been where I’ve been, and I pray that you never have to be. It has been a guiding torch throughout the past 2+ years for me. Everything we’ve experienced, good, bad, and ugly, has helped to get us down that path. The light at the end of that tunnel has been screaming at us like an unstoppable locomotive, and today, it’s here.
Over the next few weeks, we’ll be on pins and needles.
Over the next few months, we’ll get more comfortable, and slowly get back into the swing of things.
So, this little website, that started out because I couldn’t remember which family member had been told what, has sprouted wings, and has helped to become one of the tools that we’ve used to get us through our treatment. All of our faithful readers have helped to get us through this. THANK YOU so much for that. On days that you’re feeling down, think back to this post, and know you helped get my baby, and my family through cancer.
Below is the link to the slideshow I created to mark this *occasion*. I wound up having to use 2 songs. I don’t have all of the pictures that my wife does because they’re all on Anissa’s Mac..which was originally mine…but I’m not bitter. I know I left some of you out, but I was pushed for time…and didn’t have everything. It wasn’t by choice. Sorry for that.
So, here it is…in all its glory.
Keep us in your thoughts and prayers.
You are all heroes in my mind.
XOXOX
Petey
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