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The end is nigh!

I’m sure you’re prepared for some sort of WOWZER! type post about the last day of clinic chemo.

I just don’t have it in me today.

It happened today, though.


Port working on first try. Check.

Final Vincristine given safely. Check.

Peyton went happily to be anesthetized. Check.

Sort of wishing they’d anesthetized me as well. Check.

Final spinal tap administered. Check.

Final bone marrow aspirated.  Check.

Many many hugs and kisses. Check.

I’ve sort of felt like I could cry all day. I’m not sure if it’s happy or scared or freaked out or what.  Probably a nice psychotic mix of all of the above.  How I feel about the day changes on a minute by minute basis.

I can’t believe it actually happened.

I can’t believe it’s almost over.

I am full of the glee!

I am full of the anxious.

She is hurting tonight.  Her back aches…hello! spinal tap and bone marrow in the same day…she’s a little cranky from the anesthesia…her tummy hurts from the chemo.

For the last time.

I’m getting more comfortable saying that.

I’m repeating it in my head like a mantra.

The last time.

Last time.


32 Comments on “The end is nigh!”

  1. #1 Lisa
    on Oct 29th, 2008 at 10:29 pm

    Last one ever! Congrats..

    Lisas last blog post..Beautiful Anatomy

  2. #2 Ashley @ mrs007.net
    on Oct 29th, 2008 at 11:07 pm

    I am full of the glee too! It’s just internet glee since I’ve never actually met you, but still glee none the less! Seriously….I am so thrilled for your family!

    Ashley @ mrs007.nets last blog post..Germany and crazy parrots

  3. #3 D's Mommy
    on Oct 29th, 2008 at 11:10 pm

    I’m not deeply religious but God bless you, God bless Peyton, and God bless your family for making it not only this to this day but also beyond today with your humor, your grace, your dignity, your sanity, in check:) I want to so badly say that in a way I understand what you’re going through and to say why but my family members are more private then me and out of respect for them I can’t divulge too much but I will say that I’ve had to do one countdown for chemo and one for radiation treatment. Well, not me personally but my family members went through those treatments and I was there for all but one of the chemo treatments (damn orders!) and for all the radiation treatments. Anyways, I just wanted to say again: God bless you, Peyton, and your family.

  4. #4 Marie
    on Oct 29th, 2008 at 11:24 pm

    I’ll join that mantra, it’s for the LAST TIME because this girl is CANCER FREE and will stay that way. I saw that video of her playing Wii, there’s no way that fiesty little girl will allow more cancer cells to grow in her body. No way.

  5. #5 Marisa
    on Oct 29th, 2008 at 11:57 pm

    Congrats Peyton!!! I’m sorry you feel crummy right now, but as soon as it goes away, its gone FOREVER!!! You have beat the cancer!

    Now its time to Party!

  6. #6 Izzy
    on Oct 30th, 2008 at 12:55 am

    Congratulations Peyton, Anissa and family! May today be the last time EVER that she needs to go through all that!

    Izzys last blog post..Awesomely Awesome

  7. #7 SciFi Dad
    on Oct 30th, 2008 at 8:36 am

    That is awesome news, Anissa. I am so happy for Peyton, you, and your whole family.

    SciFi Dads last blog post..Remind

  8. #8 chris
    on Oct 30th, 2008 at 10:19 am

    I’m relieved to read so many “checks”. Thoughts and prayers flowing from me to Peyton as she regains her strength, and from me to you, as you do the same…


  9. #9 Double Agent Girl
    on Oct 30th, 2008 at 10:22 am

    Ok darling – now do this for me: EXHALE.
    She’s safe, you’ve done an extraordinary job of taking good care of her.
    AND OUT.
    And start tomorrow. Take each moment as it comes.
    *thinking of you and your family*

    Double Agent Girls last blog post..Did I Mention I’m a Movie Star?

  10. #10 Ashley
    on Oct 30th, 2008 at 11:14 am

    Yeah Peyton! 🙂

    Ashleys last blog post..Spelling bad words? Not a great idea.

  11. #11 Sammanthia
    on Oct 30th, 2008 at 11:21 am

    Last one EVAH! I’m so happy for you, your family has been in my thoughts.

    Sammanthias last blog post..Hurry, While Supplies Last

  12. #12 maggie, dammit
    on Oct 30th, 2008 at 11:28 am


  13. #13 Heather
    on Oct 30th, 2008 at 11:41 am

    YES! Sooo happy her port was working! Now take a deep breath and relax, at least “try” to!

    Heathers last blog post..Rebellion

  14. #14 Mom2BJT
    on Oct 30th, 2008 at 12:37 pm

    Whoo hoo! I am just so happy for all of you!

  15. #15 jen
    on Oct 30th, 2008 at 2:31 pm

    keeping you all in my thoughts and hoping the hurt goes away real soon.

  16. #16 Sarah Clapp
    on Oct 30th, 2008 at 2:54 pm

    YES!!!!!! THIS IS JOYOUS!!!!

    I love hearing this good news.

  17. #17 Holly at Tropic of Mom
    on Oct 30th, 2008 at 3:45 pm

    Seriously trying not to cry…

    Holly at Tropic of Moms last blog post..Glass-bottom boat tour

  18. #18 Shash
    on Oct 30th, 2008 at 4:25 pm

    So happy for all of you!!! Last… it has a wonderful ring to it!

    Hugs to all of you!

  19. #19 Jen W
    on Oct 30th, 2008 at 4:37 pm

    That is such wonderful news! So happy for all of you and hoping Peyton is feeling better soon!

    Jen Ws last blog post..A religious discussion about inappropriate touching.

  20. #20 Marisa
    on Oct 30th, 2008 at 5:40 pm


  21. #21 Debby
    on Oct 30th, 2008 at 6:38 pm

    This is so wonderful! I will keep you all in my prayers that the c-word never returns. I hope she feels better soon!

    Debbys last blog post..Two Helpful PSA’s

  22. #22 PAPA
    on Oct 30th, 2008 at 8:28 pm

    Big, big Congrats!

    Sometimes when it’s the last it just feels weird, right? I hope you can finally exhale.

    PAPAs last blog post..Out of Order

  23. #23 threeundertwo
    on Oct 30th, 2008 at 9:39 pm

    Tears in my eyes for both of you. This is it baby. Absolutely it. I am so happy for you!

    threeundertwos last blog post..Finished for Friday: Halloween edition!

  24. #24 alayna
    on Oct 30th, 2008 at 10:20 pm

    Praise God! So happy for you and believing in your place that this is really, truly the LAST chemo EVER for Peyton. I know for me, when it was Joey, it was hard for me to have faith and all the what ifs and worst-case scenarios played constantly in my mind, as if I thought about them, they might not happen, so long as I was prepared. And I think a good measure of other people’s faith carried me through that time. Because when it is your baby, you have faith, but it is a DESPERATE kind of faith, like this HAS to work, I MEAN IT! But, when it’s not your baby it’s easier to have a peaceful, relaxed, believing faith. At least that’s been my experience. So, no judging from me for not having enough faith, just saying I’m having extra faith for you that this is truly the LAST time, and your life will slowly turn into a new normal. We love you guys to pieces, and I need your mailing address again cuz I lost it. So send it to me when you get a sec.

  25. #25 Carrie
    on Oct 30th, 2008 at 11:22 pm

    Yay for Peyton! And Yay for you!

  26. #26 Elinor Schwartz
    on Oct 31st, 2008 at 11:35 am

    Hoping that you will be celebrating this wonderful time in your lives. You are all so brave.

  27. #27 Heather
    on Oct 31st, 2008 at 3:02 pm

    Words just can’t express how happy I am for all of you! Praise God!

    Heathers last blog post..Can’t Blog Today

  28. #28 jennifer
    on Oct 31st, 2008 at 3:58 pm

    Great news, I am so happy for Peyton.

  29. #29 basi
    on Oct 31st, 2008 at 4:43 pm

    I am so happy to hear that you guys are done with chemo. I know it’s wierd but you’ll get used to this. At first it feels like something is missing, having all that extra time- not going to appointments or giving meds, picking up prescriptions, calling in prescriptions, scheduling appointments, etc.

    Congrats to Peyton and all of you. I’ll e-mail you later this weekend to let you know our schedule next week in Disney so we can all hook up.

    love, basi

  30. #30 Havi Brooks (and duck)
    on Oct 31st, 2008 at 5:29 pm

    Yay! Last one!

    Big hug and comfort and everything you need right now …. you must be feeling so many different things at the same time.

    And love to Peyton from the blogosphere!

  31. #31 Lori
    on Nov 1st, 2008 at 5:04 pm

    Dear Princess Peyton,
    You and your family have made us all believe in “happily ever after!” We celebrate with you on behalf of your LAST chemo treatment and the FACT that the cancer is GONE!! Sometimes, strength and courage are strongest when they come from the smallest and most fragile places. You’ve more than proven that! Hugs and prayers, Lori

  32. #32 Jennifer
    on Nov 1st, 2008 at 7:30 pm

    YES!! Hallelujah!! It’s gonna be all good from here my friend!

    Tag you’re it! Go to my blog to see what to do.

    Jennifers last blog post..100% WEIRD…