Hope4Peyton

Peyton and I have been invited to speak on TV about the Pediatric Cancer Foundation’s Breakfast of Hope. I’ll be speaking at the Breakfast so I guess they want us to go on and share our personal experiences.

Take two minutes and describe to someone the most horrific experience of your life. Make them feel the anguish and devastation of that moment in 120 seconds. Connect with them, try to make them understand and then get your point across, in less time than it takes to microwave a Hot Pocket.

That’s what it feels like when I’m asked to speak to people about cancer. Yet, I know that it would be impossible to comprehensively explain to someone who hasn’t experienced having their child diagnosed with cancer, even if I had a lifetime to stamp on my soapbox or wax poetic.

Words are powerful. I think of some of words that, when put together in a sentence, can crumble your entire world.

“Your child has cancer”
“It’s a relapse, the cancer is back”
“It’s an inoperable tumor”
“There are no more treatment options”
“In loving memory”

But how do you get through to people who don’t really want to understand what it feels like to be on the receiving end of those words? Is there a picture I can show, a particular memory I could share that would open their eyes to the reality of pediatric cancer? Do I talk about what it feels like to live with the cancer cloud over your child? Can I really express what it feels like to hold the hand of a friend who has learned that treatment has failed? How do you tell someone, I sat at the feet of a child as she breathed her last breath and lost her battle with cancer?

But what I don’t ever want to have to do is what too many of my precious friends are left with….I don’t want to hold up a picture of my child, forever captured in a photograph, who will always be 2, 8, 15….because they never had a chance for more years. I don’t want to be the parent who has to share a favorite memory of my child because that’s all I have left of them….because cancer takes without consideration. I don’t want to cry, beg and plea for a chance for all the other kids….because my child wasn’t given one.

I get the chance to take Peyton on tv again and try to get through to the hearts of the unknowing. Tell our story, explain the need for research and raise the awareness that will someday bring us the answers of cancer, the faster treatments, the better medications, and one day…the CURES.

I remember someone telling me that Peyton had the “good cancer”, that they could cure Leukemia. I got so fed up with that phrase. I actually told someone that 75% isn’t a cure rate, it’s a death sentence for 25% of the kids. That’s a 75% chance if they survive the treatment with it’s potential for infection, damage to the organs, pneumonia, and secondary cancer (just to name a very few issues)….75% odds for making it 5 years. Never mind the kids who will never experience the colors of another sunset because cancer robbed them of their eyes, the kids who will never dance with grace again because cancer stole their strength and mobility, the kids who will struggle the rest of their lives with learning, infertility, weak hearts or livers. These are the lucky ones, these are part of the 75% who have a future….not the future anyone wanted for them…but they have one.

Yeah…maybe not the most politically correct way to get that point across…but it’s the truth.

So, we’ll go on TV, we’ll share a tiny bite-sized encapsulation of life with pediatric cancer and pray that it’s gets us one step closer to a day when the survival rates are 100%…when the cure rate isn’t 5 years, but 50 years…when we can kill the cancer without killing the child….when childhood cancer gets the same attention and research funding as breast, colon and lung cancer.

Ok…all done. And there is NO way I’m going to be able to get that all across in two minutes.

It’ll be something like “This is Peyton, she has cancer, cancer is bad, BOOO cancer.”

f.r.o.G…fully relying on God
-Anissa

ps…I wanted to share that a friend of our cousin Tommy is running a half marathon for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society January 13th, in honor of our very own Peyton! Here is the link to her fundraising page, if you can donate a few dollars let’s get them working for a good cause!

I don’t know if the kids are getting up while we sleep and watching extreme sports or something, but they come up with those cringe-worthy ideas that make you shake your head and wonder what makes a kid think THAT would be fun. Although, my mother would tell you that I was the one that was always climbing trees, getting into everything and generally running amok as a child, so I guess they come by it honestly.

Nathaniel came up with this great idea today and Peyton made a valiant attempt before I quickly put a halt to the whole thing….yes, that’s me…BIG OLD PARTY POOPER. Again, 6 days to go before Christmas vacation is up…no ER visit yet.

Yes, that is the same boogie board used so industriously by Peyton and Rachael just a few days ago in a near catastrophic kitchen-surfing incident. Note the care with which Peyton is attaching the instrument of her impending demise.

I have to tell you, Nathaniel got this awesome 3 wheel Razor scooter and it has the most awesome swivel wheel action. It turns on a dime and has more balance than the traditional 2 wheel variety…meaning that Peter and I could get on, make it go and not worry too much about falling and breaking one of our delicate hips. Every one of us got the chance to try it out, some of us more gracefully that others….and I use the word “grace” in the loosest terms possible.

Peter left early this afternoon to head back to work, the departure wasn’t any easier this time than the first. Rachael borders on a nervous breakdown with each goodbye, she has to be pried off of Pete and then she wails and sobs for a good 15 minutes, but tonight she is coping better and talked to Pete cheerfully on the phone. The other two shed no tears but it does get quite morose around our house for the rest of the day.

We have a pretty easygoing week ahead of us. Tomorrow afternoon we go to the PT office to make sure Peyton fits in her new foot braces then we scoot off to the Ringling Brothers circus. We should love that as we get the chance to see the animals and meet the circus folks prior to the show.

My New Year’s Resolution was apparently to ache from head to toe like an old freaking lady. That’s what happened today after going to the gym yesterday with too much enthusiasm and ambitious goals…and waking up today feeling as though I’d been mugged by the Detroit Lions. So, if anyone sees me tomorrow, looking pitiful and stiff, please feel free to rub me down with Ben-Gay and tell me I don’t need that nasty old gym anyways.

We rocked the New Year as only we could…the kids were in bed by 10 PM and Peter and I lounged lazily, commenting on how ridiculous it seems to want to stand in Time Square with 15,000 people of questionable hygiene practice….I was quite frank that for me to stay in one spot for 12 hours would require a cot, a cooler and a large pack of adult diapers. Not a promising start to the new year, in my opinion. So, we sat at home, we rocked it in with Dick Clark, we were in bed by 12:30. We are boring. We are old. It was great!

We need our rest anyway, we have a big year ahead of us!

Bring it on, 2008!!

f.r.o.G…fully relying on God
—Anissa

ps..Let me just tell all of you that we are thankful for 2007 being such a wonderful year…full of the amazing power of God in our lives. But for anyone who needs proof of what he can do in a year, check out last year’s New Years Peyton with this year’s New Years Peyton.

Mathew’s mom Karen is an instructor for a wonderful music program called Music with Mar. She is amazing with the kids, teaching and encouraging pre-school age children through music and song. She has shared this gift with the kids at the Children’s Cancer Center and we’ve always enjoyed watching how the kids respond to her, how much they love the music and interaction.

Music with Mar and the Fresh Start church are hosting a night dedicated to Mathew and his family on January 18th. There will be a dinner, a Music with Mar. concert (so please bring your kids so they can have some fun) and a silent auction. All proceeds will benefit the Gliddon family.

If you’re interested in a way to assist the Gliddons but can’t make it to the fundraiser, please know that there are other ways to give financial help to a special family. Please contact the Children’s Cancer Center (ask for Patty Zipter) and let them know you’d like to make a donation to Mathew Gliddon and they will place the money into an account for his family.

If you’ve been blessed through this Christmas season, consider sharing that blessing with others.

f.r.o.G…fully relying on God
–Anissa

I like to picture the pioneers who spent months of their lives traveling to their new homesteads and finally reaching it and getting out of the wagon…having a nice stretch and then looking around at the wilderness thinking “WOW, this looked a lot different on www.realtor.com”.

Peter and I have spent so much time browsing through houses for sale online that I truly think there is a chance we have seen EVERY house for a 20 mile radius of Fayette county. It was fun at first, it was exciting to look and imagine and hope for the bright shiny future home! Now, it’s like doing algebra homework….”Oh no, it’s house browsing time again?”

Seriously, it is a wonderful tool to have at our fingertips, we’ve been able to figure out where we want to live, where the best schools are…we are able to ditch whole groups of houses based on the lousy schools. We have our list of necessities and then we search and we search and we search.

Then Pete and I sit and do the “wild imagination” times….where he looks at houses that are cheap fixer uppers…I look at houses about 350,000$ out of our price range…we consider what we’d do with 13 acres…we play “what if money weren’t an issue”….something to break up the monotony.

It’s been so nice having Pete home the past week. The kids have enjoyed him being here while they’re out of school and we’ve been able to squeeze in some really nice family time. Our home seems whole again, it’s messy, it’s loud, this is how we like it. We’re already anticipating Pete having to pack up and leave on Tuesday, I’m encouraging them with the plan to go up for a visit around Nathaniel’s birthday in late January.

I can confess I’m a little neurotic these days. Peyton’s bruised up right now…her platelet count is great…I KNOW it’s nothing but normal kid playing….the bruises are healing!….but I can’t stop watching them and checking them 20 times a day. It just freaks me out to see her legs all banged up and today she had a new one on her butt cheek….she LOVED me checking that one over and over again today, let me tell you. I keep telling myself not to worry, that I’m letting my imagination get the best of me, especially because I have her counts from Wednesday rattling around perfectly in my head. But it’s that cancer parent paranoia…the need to check for random fevers, the watching every bruise like a hawk, staring at them to make sure their color looks good…I AM CRAZY, but I admit it and I move on.

However, tonight I got the great joy of watching Nathaniel break out in a very mysterious rash. He’s already had the chicken pox, he has NO other symptoms…just a spreading rash on his torso, groin and underarms. **Note, please don’t attempt to self diagnose via Google, I put in his symptoms and got back BUBONIC plague. However, this is also the search engine that we used to look up “Wetus”, a Powhatan Indian house, and got back 4,000,000 sites for porn.

My paranoia came rushing in, the kid went to bed tonight marked in red sharpie…so that I could see where he was currently broken out and if there are new spots in the morning, I’ll know. Because, again, I am CRAZY. How crazy am I?? Before he went to bed, he sighed and asked me “Do I have to stay in my room again until this goes away?”

Considering they’ve been all over each other all through the Christmas break, I think its pointless now…but thanks for offering, Son.

f.r.o.G.
–Anissa

Yesterday was two things happened that I could have lived without. I sacrificed myself on the alter of parental love and took the kids to see “Alvin and the Chipmunks” and I also had a “special” doctor appointment. Just in case you didn’t get that “special” reference please see the video below….I was feeling the love.

I have certifiable evidence that our kids have a death wish…or at least a Traumatic-Brain-Injury wish.

I actually had to make the statement “We don’t ever EVER EEEEVVVEEERRR use the pogo stick on the trampoline!”

Then I got to watch a beautiful collaborative effort between Rachael and Peyton. Rachael pulled Peyton around the house on a boogie board like a sled, only this board had the strap attached to Peyton’s ankle. When she stood up and walked away the board went with her, banging along the floor. Now, I want you to picture Rachael watching the board…empty, banging across the floor…just calling to her to “come, take the ride of your life, this is the chance to surf the great kitchen floor”….so she took off at a running start and took a huge leap!

She lands square on the board….Peyton’s ankle is strapped to the board…Did I mention that Rachael is over twice Peyton’s body weight?….There was this great slow-mo action as the strap pulled taut, Peyton went forward and Rachael went NOWHERE…the arms flailed, there was a valiant attempt at balance and then Peyton went face first into the floor tile.

Only 9 more days of Christmas vacation…I think we can make it without an ER run, but I wouldn’t bet money on it.

f.r.o.G.
–Anissa