Hope4Peyton

…although that stinks to high heaven of a metric ton load of ego.

It does make me feel warm and fuzzy to think that you had a “whoa” moment (FYI – said in a total Keanu Reeves voice, not the Joey Lawrence voice) when you realized ALERT ALERT, BLOG DOWN! and were sad for  just a few seconds before you moved on.

Of course, really? Who reads blogs on the weekends? Besides me, of course.

On a total side note, if you’re pretty used to seeing me hitting your website and leaving comments and loving all over you…sorry! Been a bit crazy here with the whole “sick mom” thing and that “failing as a homeschooler” bit and then, of course, there’s the “I’m so tired I want to lock myself in a closet and just sleep in an Ambien-induced coma for about a week” mumbo-jumbo.

If you’re wondering why I haven’t been to your site yet and don’t leave comments….sorry!  I slack, therefore I am. Send me an email! Yell at me!  So, I can add “writhing in guilt and shame” thing to my aforementioned list.

If you have no blog yet for me to not visit and not comment at…why the heck not??  Get with the program here!

Will I ever post a post that makes sense or has a point?  Maybe.

I want to tell you about watching a shuttle take-off with my kids.

There was this great moment when my kids realized I’m not a complete dumba** loser bonehead, sometimes I know what I’m talking about…which, you know I totally NEED to write this one because those moments are few and far between and I want to get it down before I completely forget.

I have some great pictures found amongst the stacks of stacks at my parent’s house…some are freaking awesome bad hair pics of me…but there are a few *cough* thousand *cough* of my sister that I totally scanned and have on my hard drive enjoyed and then put back in their box.

I’m deciding whether I want to write about what it feels like to have to talk about end of life preparedness and the scary responsibility of being a healthcare surrogate for my parents.

I just made six meals and stuck them in the freezer, washed a buttload of laundry and am trying feverishly to feel like I am preparing my parents for being here by themselves and that I’m not abandoning them….with my dad and his still-healing-broken-hip issues and my mom with her grocery list of issues…my dad has a cane, my mom uses a walker…guilt!

There’s a lot going on IN my head, just not a terribly huge amount coming OUT of my head…or my fingers…or whichever visual image is least distrubing.

I will go now, as my rambling has confused me.

Oh! Just to keep with my Star Wars theme for this week:

HEH.  Guess I got next year’s Halloween costume already picked out!

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Oh! you MUST go to here and read my review of the new Linda Eder CD and check out the many opportunities to win her new CD and T-shirt autographed! (By her, not by me…but we can make that happen if that’s what you really want.)

So why are you still here? Why aren’t you off winning stuff? Jeez! GO ALREADY!

Yeah.

I may have ruined any chance they had of getting into an Ivy League school. EVER.

Vot-tech, here we come.

Update on mom: she is much better, she is now home and improving daily, the blood clots in her legs and lungs are apparently starting to dissolve as she is noticing a big difference in her ability to breathe. A good thing, no? I’m staying in Daytona for a while to be home health care while she needs it.

Update on me: I’ve gone temporarily insane as I have agreed to homeschool my kids for the next week (plus the week of catch up we have to play since my kids were out of school all week) so that I could help my mom get back on her feet! That means my kids were all out all this week…they’re going to be home all next week…then the week after that is our Thanksgiving holiday…3 freaking weeks without school.  This is all my mom’s fault, she owes me and can’t even cop the excuse that she spent days in labor…I’m adopted!

Update on the kids: They have 3 freaking weeks without school…they are ecstatic! Who could blame them?

I have found my new favorite thing in the whole world and I hope that Peter will stop looking right this second so that he doesn’t totally ruin one of his Christmas gifts…but this is something so geeky and fantastic that I have to share it with you BEFORE the holidays so you can have a chance to thrill your beloved as well.

Ta-Da! Star Wars cuff links. I KNOW! Shut UP, right?!

Ok.

Ya’ll?

LOVE YOU!

Mom is doing much better…her meds appear to be working (although the doctor’s refuse to do more tests, calling them “unneccessary” and expect her to just “know” that the clots are passing because she’ll “feel better”…MEH! I want tests!)…she is actually FEELING BETTER…and my sister drove down with three of her four daughters and I think having all her kids by her side did a lot to comfort mom through her crisis.

Thank you all for your prayer, they worked wonders and I believe in a powerful God who can work miracles, even in clusters of blood clots in the lungs of my mom.

But it hasn’t been all hospital bound angst…although there was plenty.

My sister was here! WHEEEE!

We don’t get to spend enough time together and I never see my nieces enough.

I got to stay with my BFF and her family and we can never leave soon enough for her poor, beleagured husband….when we arrive it brings the numbers to seven females vs two males….in a one bathroom house. OH HORROR!

I got the chance to play with my new camera some more and I’ve never been so thankful to see a piece of machinery hit the skids as my old camera.

So I leave you with some images of my weekend…and my deepest, most profound thanks for caring and being here for me.

Posting may be light in the next few days as I am out of town with my mom and dad.

Friday night my mom was diagnosed with multiple pulmonary embolisms, blood clots in her legs and lungs. VEEEERY bad news.

She was recently in a pedestrian accident when a woman didn’t realize her car wasn’t in park and the car rolled…pinning my mother’s leg between two bumpers. She’s lucky she didn’t destroy her leg, but the accident and the time spent on bed rest caused a bunch of blood clots to build up in her leg and then start boogying through her body.

This is life-threatening.

I’m scared for my mom.  I don’t even have words to tell you how my world shook after finding out how very sick she is.

Saturday I took off to be with my mom at the hospital and was relieved to see her stable.  Not good, but stable.  The clots in her lungs and legs are being treated with medication to dissolve them and we are praying hard that they cooperate without throwing any clots that could cause a heart attack or stroke.  Her lungs are in danger because of the oxygen-deprivation the clots caused before they were discovered and treatment was started.

She’s in bad shape.

I held it together when I got the news and understood how critical her condition is.

I maintained control while I packed up my kids and drove to be with her.

The moment I wrapped my arms around her and felt her grab hold of me, my tears started and we had a good cry together.  Both scared, both glad to be together.

I had a moment when I was rubbing lotions on her hands that I was flashing through moments these hands loved and comforted me…wrapping her fingers around mine, teaching me to spell my name…kissing me and holding me when I took a header off my bike…wiping my face as I strained to birth my babies…enveloping me in mother’s love in the pain of my own daughter’s diagnosis.

I’m not ready to lose those hands yet.

Please pray for my mom.

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Today, I wrote at 5 Minutes For Special Needs about how being an advocate for Peyton has helped me help my mom.