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I’m not ready

Posting may be light in the next few days as I am out of town with my mom and dad.

Friday night my mom was diagnosed with multiple pulmonary embolisms, blood clots in her legs and lungs. VEEEERY bad news.

She was recently in a pedestrian accident when a woman didn’t realize her car wasn’t in park and the car rolled…pinning my mother’s leg between two bumpers. She’s lucky she didn’t destroy her leg, but the accident and the time spent on bed rest caused a bunch of blood clots to build up in her leg and then start boogying through her body.

This is life-threatening.

I’m scared for my mom.  I don’t even have words to tell you how my world shook after finding out how very sick she is.

Saturday I took off to be with my mom at the hospital and was relieved to see her stable.  Not good, but stable.  The clots in her lungs and legs are being treated with medication to dissolve them and we are praying hard that they cooperate without throwing any clots that could cause a heart attack or stroke.  Her lungs are in danger because of the oxygen-deprivation the clots caused before they were discovered and treatment was started.

She’s in bad shape.

I held it together when I got the news and understood how critical her condition is.

I maintained control while I packed up my kids and drove to be with her.

The moment I wrapped my arms around her and felt her grab hold of me, my tears started and we had a good cry together.  Both scared, both glad to be together.

I had a moment when I was rubbing lotions on her hands that I was flashing through moments these hands loved and comforted me…wrapping her fingers around mine, teaching me to spell my name…kissing me and holding me when I took a header off my bike…wiping my face as I strained to birth my babies…enveloping me in mother’s love in the pain of my own daughter’s diagnosis.

I’m not ready to lose those hands yet.

Please pray for my mom.

Today, I wrote at 5 Minutes For Special Needs about how being an advocate for Peyton has helped me help my mom.

36 Comments on “I’m not ready”

  1. #1 Nicole
    on Nov 9th, 2008 at 3:14 pm

    Absolutly, prayers will be going your way! Please keep us updated as you can!

    Nicoles last blog post..25 Years

  2. #2 PAPA
    on Nov 9th, 2008 at 3:27 pm

    Anissa, I send you our best…

    PAPAs last blog post..Pillow rhymes with Just Chill, Yo!

  3. #3 D's Mommy
    on Nov 9th, 2008 at 3:35 pm

    Your mom is DEFINITELY in my prayers and those of your other readers. Please keep us as updated as you can on her recovery. I teared up reading this and it made me think of my own mom.

  4. #4 Cindi
    on Nov 9th, 2008 at 3:42 pm

    God bless your mom and prayers are being lifted up for you all.

  5. #5 Sarah, Goon Sqaud Sarah
    on Nov 9th, 2008 at 4:30 pm

    I am so sorry. I hope everything turns out well.

  6. #6 Christi
    on Nov 9th, 2008 at 4:45 pm

    Definitely praying, hon!!

    Christis last blog post..Flashback Friday–Patience

  7. #7 greg
    on Nov 9th, 2008 at 5:06 pm

    This is just awful. I’ll keep you and your mom in my hopes and prayers. Please keep up updated.

    gregs last blog post..Cervical Cancer Facts

  8. #8 Beverly
    on Nov 9th, 2008 at 5:14 pm

    Take good care of your mom!

    Prayers your way…

    Beverlys last blog post..Election Day

  9. #9 Carrie
    on Nov 9th, 2008 at 5:44 pm

    Prayers are headed your way!

    Carries last blog post..I’m Just Going to Vent

  10. #10 Tracy P
    on Nov 9th, 2008 at 6:45 pm

    Oh Anissa-I am keeping your mom in my thoughts and prayers-watching our parent hurt and sick is so very difficult-they are our ties to everything we know from before we were parents ourselves. Praying for healing for your mom! Thinking of you.

    Tracy Ps last blog post..Scary Morning of Soccer

  11. #11 Overflowing Brain
    on Nov 9th, 2008 at 7:53 pm

    I’m so sorry for all that you and your mother are going through, I cannot even imagine.

    My mom is scheduling surgery for clearing of her carotid artery. It’s not the same, but what you say about not being ready struck such a cord with me. There’s no way to ever be ready to face something like what you’re facing right now.

    Many prayers and much hope.

    Overflowing Brains last blog post..What it feels like

  12. #12 Brittany
    on Nov 9th, 2008 at 7:54 pm

    Absolutely, you are all in my prayers, and I hope the medicine does it’s job quickly and successfully.

    Brittanys last blog post..Rubber boots beyond this point

  13. #13 Natalie Willis
    on Nov 9th, 2008 at 8:00 pm

    Lots of prayers and lots of love are headed down I-4 your way and I can be in the car with them in a heartneat if you need anything!
    Love you guys!

    Natalie Williss last blog post..Picture them all in their underwear

  14. #14 Jen W
    on Nov 9th, 2008 at 8:11 pm

    Prayer are on their way. I hope all turns out alright.

  15. #15 Jessica
    on Nov 9th, 2008 at 8:47 pm

    Prayers going out for you and your family.

  16. #16 SciFi Dad
    on Nov 9th, 2008 at 9:01 pm

    I will have a good thought for you and your mom.

    SciFi Dads last blog post..BuddyTV

  17. #17 Karalyn
    on Nov 9th, 2008 at 9:05 pm

    Praying for your mom.
    I know how you are feeling and it sucks. I lost my mom 3 years ago. She was only 56. It doesn’t matter that you are an adult with kids of your own when it comes to your mom-you can still feel like that little kid that still needs their mommy.
    Sending you and your family lots of love and hugs.

  18. #18 evalou2
    on Nov 9th, 2008 at 9:07 pm

    I am so sorry I have been absent for so long as my family has been dealing with a major crisis. But I am here now and I am praying for your Mom and I will post this out as a prayer request to everyone I can!

    Sending much love and many prayers!


  19. #19 Shash
    on Nov 9th, 2008 at 10:21 pm

    Praying for your mom and your safe return.

    Call me if you need me.


  20. #20 threeundertwo
    on Nov 9th, 2008 at 10:39 pm

    Oh no! Prayers for your mom. I’m so sorry to hear this.

  21. #21 Dan Cohen
    on Nov 9th, 2008 at 11:25 pm

    Dear Anissa,

    I am praying for your mom.

    If you need anything whatsoever, you know how to reach me. Just ask me.

    Dan Cohen
    North Miami Beach, FL

  22. #22 Ami Czorapinski
    on Nov 9th, 2008 at 11:34 pm

    As always, you and your family are in my prayers.

  23. #23 LaskiGal
    on Nov 9th, 2008 at 11:37 pm

    Found you through BlogHer . . . big, huge prayers your way . . .

    LaskiGals last blog post..Little Corners

  24. #24 alayna
    on Nov 10th, 2008 at 12:31 am

    we’re praying. Hard. Keep us updated when you can.

  25. #25 Awesome Mom
    on Nov 10th, 2008 at 1:58 am

    I hope that she has a smooth and quiet recovery! hang in there!

    Awesome Moms last blog post..Nerd girl

  26. #26 M
    on Nov 10th, 2008 at 2:37 am

    Prayers from CA!

    Ms last blog post..Sunday is Over

  27. #27 Ann of the Incredible Gift
    on Nov 10th, 2008 at 7:02 am

    Hugs and good thoughts and prayers going out for your mom.

    Ann of the Incredible Gifts last blog post..Margret does Yoga, and other athletic things

  28. #28 Ashley
    on Nov 10th, 2008 at 12:14 pm

    I’m praying for your mom.

    Ashleys last blog post..I give up.

  29. #29 Brandy
    on Nov 10th, 2008 at 8:56 pm

    I have been thinking about you all day after reading this. I am praying extra hard for your mom. The woman that raised Anissa Mayhew has to be a pretty strong woman that can beat this.


  30. #30 jennifer
    on Nov 10th, 2008 at 9:50 pm

    My thoughts and prayers are with you & your Mom. Hoping for a full recovery, Jennifr

  31. #31 Gail Frank
    on Nov 10th, 2008 at 9:51 pm

    Anissa, consider you and your mom wrapped in prayers and healing thoughts being sent your way!

  32. #32 To Think Is To Create
    on Nov 11th, 2008 at 5:38 am

    Praying for you all, lovie.

  33. #33 lori
    on Nov 13th, 2008 at 8:28 am

    Oh My Dear Friend,
    All I can say is that I am praying for you entire family and hoping for a quick recovery. I can’t even imagine how you must feel right now. You have been on a roller coaster of all roller coaster rides. I wish I had been in touch sooner, I feel like the worst friend. My prayers and hugs are coming your way.
    Let me know if I can do ANYTHING to help with the kids. Hec, I might even purchase some sort of electronic for Nathaniel. It’s about time we enter 2008 anyway.
    Missing you.

  34. #34 jennster
    on Nov 13th, 2008 at 6:50 pm

    in my thoughts…. xoxoxo

    jennsters last blog post..nopobloyourmom- not a fan.

  35. #35 Lisa D
    on Nov 17th, 2008 at 3:00 pm

    I feel like a bad friend. I am sorry I haven’t read your post in few days to know what has happened to your sweet mom. Please know that if you need to talk you can email me any time. Please know that I will pray for her continued healing and for tons of good health. I am sorry for the hard times and know that I pray for beautiful and wonderful times ahead. God bless you wonderful and good friend.

  36. #36 You might be wondering where I went.... | Hope4Peyton
    on Nov 18th, 2008 at 7:02 am

    […] leaving comments and loving all over you…sorry! Been a bit crazy here with the whole “sick mom” thing and that “failing as a homeschooler” bit and then, of course, […]