Hope4Peyton

I am just about done with celebrating. Between Peyton’s birthday and the non-stop Christmas funfest we’ve had, I am over anything that involves gift bags or the phrase “Guess WHO’S here!”

Peyton’s birthday started a week before the actual day, the last week of NOVEMBER. She got yet another birthday gift tonight. That means it’s been a never-ending barrage of birthday well wishing and presents. This poor child. She is doomed to expect birthday gifts for a month, for the rest of her life AND to be sadly disappointed forevermore. Maybe I’ll be nice and transition her into birthday reality and just spend 15$ on her at the Dollar General and give her a trinket every day for two weeks. When she decides, “wow, this is all crap, I’d rather have just 1 day of cool presents” we’ll all be able to move on with our December.

As far as Christmas goes, Santa showed up again tonight at the Lightning game we were attending and she couldn’t even work up any real enthusiasm. She’s seen the man so much she’s beyond getting excited, she’s already told him what she wants and she’s just waiting on the big guy to deliver.

We were able to enjoy another fantastic night of friendship and fun at the Brad Richard’s Richey’s Rascal Suite for a WINNING Lightning game! Go Vinny Lecavelier for scoring the winning goal!!! I have to tell you that we’ve never gone to a losing game at the suite, I think we’re a pretty good luck charm…in fact, maybe they should take us with them on the road. Peyton told me a while back that she thought we should get a Vinny (Lecavelier) and a Brad (Richards) to have at home….as if we can just run by Home Depot and pick one up like a hammer….which if you could, I think I know what would be topping a LOT of Christmas lists this year. But because I firmly agreed with her decision to have a Vinny and Brad for our home, I hope that she was a good girl this year and that Santa will fill that wish!

I am so thankful to the Pediatric Cancer Foundation for their offer of letting me be one of the speakers at the Breakfast of Hope in February. This is a fundraiser that really brings the reality of what cancer is, what it does, the children it affects to so many. I know that Dana Bertoch will also be a speaker at this event this year, and I told them flat out that I have to speak before Dana…I refuse to go on after HER!! Are you kidding me? They won’t hear a word I say after listening to that sweet girl talk. It will be all over. But this a great opportunity to truly say something about how passionate I am about funding a cure and getting these kids the weapons they need to wage war on cancer. We wouldn’t send our soldiers out to battle the enemy with slingshots, but we can’t fund research to give kids a fighting chance at life??

With so much celebrating, time spent with friends from the Children’s Cancer Center, the Pediatric Cancer Foundation, the Brad Richards Foundation, the Children’s Dream Fund, the Brandon Foundation, Giving Hope Through Faith Foundation, just each and every precious person we’ve been blessed to get to know in the past year and a half, and the friendships we’ve built over our years in Brandon, I am so sad. I can’t even bear to stop and really think what a loss it’s going to be to drive away from these amazing people, to say goodbye to this support system we’ve been blessed to have. I know that our choices are absolutely the right ones, that we’ll be so blessed through this move, that THIS is what God wants in our lives. But I find myself praying “God, can’t you give me a chance to grow that doesn’t involve me hurting?”

This is totally my selfish feelings about the move. Pete is relishing the challenges his new job brings, he’s making new friends and getting his feet firmly on the ground there. I know without a doubt that my kids are going to make new and fast friends, and will adjust the quickest. And I know, KNOW!, that this right and the best future for our family, but a part of me just wants to stamp my foot and throw myself on the ground and writhe around in a pity party. I like my friends here. I like my life here. I like knowing what my purpose is here. I like feeling secure here. I like having people here when I need them and being able to be there when someone else is in need.

Yet, I hear that voice in my heart saying “But THIS is where I want you.” So, I suck it up and I embrace what lies ahead. I have to tell myself 100 times a day that God’s plans are so much bigger than my pain (Thank you, Sherry, for those precious words) and by trusting in Him we’ve gotten this far, He’s not going to let us down now.

In the face of so much Christmas joy and frivolity, I’m always reminded of the flip side of that coin. The families who will be spending their holiday with a desperately sick child, the families who will be spending so much of their day remembering past Christmases with their loved one whose no longer there to celebrate with them. I feel this sadness to know so many around us will be facing a Christmas morning tainted by the knowledge that there is someone missing and no matter how hard they try, it will seep some of the joy away. Whether it is a child, a mother or father, a friend…the loss seems to be expressed more and felt deeper right now, when the focus is on the family and precious time together.

I don’t want to be the bummer on your holiday, but please don’t forget to think of those less fortunate than you. Not just those who don’t have as many nice trimmings for their holiday, the ones who don’t have the newest and coolest gifts under the tree….but those who’s Christmas will be about just making it through a day filled with grief and loss, for those who will be considering that this might be their last Christmas together and hold tenuously to each moment, for the ones who have been through the worst they ever dreamed of, for those who don’t trust in our Lord and don’t have that peace and comfort that comes from Him. Keep them in your prayers. And let that make your moments more treasured, let it enrich each second of your days, let it humble you and keep your perspective of what’s truly important.

f.r.o.G….fully relying on God
-Anissa

Nathaniel gets in the car after school full of excitement about a new book he’d heard about. I’m hoping that this is IT, he’s found READING, he is truly my child too and not just all Pete’s video game spawn.

“Which would you rather do? Get beat up by a high school marching band or a gang of Pillsbury Dough Boys?”

“Which would you rather have? 32 toes or 3 tongues?”

“Would you rather be drowned in mayonnaise or beaten to death with pickles?”

“Would you rather have a tongue 3 feet long or toes the size of bananas?”

Obviously not War and Peace….not even quite Mad Magazine. Feel free to discuss THOSE earth shaking questions for yourself. Harder to decide than you’d think.

We’re sitting in the CVS pharmacy drive thru, picking up Peyton’s antibiotic prescription and he continues to bombard me with these brain-numbing questions. But I want to encourage his excitement in the contents of a book, no matter that the author of this book should be taken out and shot!

So, Peyton decides she’ll join in on the “how far can we push mom towards the edge of insanity” quest.

“What’s that window?”

“It’s where they give you your medicine, just like at McDonalds with food.”

“What’s that say?”

“Push for service.”

“What’s that button do?”

“It rings a bell and lets them know we’re waiting.”

“What are those bumps?”

“That’s Braille.”

“What’s Braille?”

“It’s how blind people read.”

“Why do blind people read bumps?”

And it goes on and on and on….

BUT….the blood starts flowing to Nathaniel’s brain. I can almost hear it ticking and whirling.

“Mom, why would there be Braille on a drive thru?”

“For the blind people.”

“That are driving? Think about that, mom!”

Oh. Right.

What would you rather do? Be mocked by your nine year old for your blatant stupidy or have a porcupine shoved up your butt? I think we all know the answer to that one.

f.r.o.G…fully relying on God
-Anissa

Peyton had chest and sinus x-rays at the clinic today. With no fever and her lungs sounding clear, they wanted to check for a sinus infection. It turns out that she has a nasty case of sinusitis…something that sounds like a totally made up illness….but luckily it only requires a regiment of antibiotics and she should be good to go. Hopefully, it’ll clear up quickly because she’s been miserable at night.

You know you’ve lost something very important in your brain when you think “YEAHHH!!! Post nasal drip!” But with the possibility of bronchitis and pneumonia in my head, it’s a relief to know that there’s nothing more dangerous than a sinus issue.

f.r.o.G…fully relying on God
-Anissa

I would truly like to thank Pinellas county for giving my family a fresh new experience in why not all bookstores are created equal. The kids and I were making our way to the All Children’s Hospital oncology/hematology Christmas party on Sunday when Rachael looks over and hands me the perfect argument for why literacy is overrated.

“Hey, mom! I want to go to that bookstore! Can we go?”

I look over my shoulder and see the sign that says “Bedtime Stories” in letters 2 ½ feet tall…underneath which, in microscopic writing, are the words “adult bookstore”.

“Yeah…no…I don’t think so.”

“Why not? We love bedtime stories.”

Which is totally true, how can I argue with that?

“Because we can go to the Borders by our house if you want a new book.” – Translation: I will buy you an entire set of encyclopedias transcribed onto butterfly wings by chimpanzees if you will just drop this!

No such luck.

“I like bedtime stories, mommy!” comes from Peyton in the backseat.

“I know you do, but if we stop we won’t be able to go to the party.”

That worked because they let go of the bookstore that the mean mommy won’t take them to.

BUT, with all the fun and busyness in our lives, I got mixed up on this one day. Instead of realizing that the party was from 1 to 4 PM, I had it that the party started at 4 PM. We arrive as they are closing everything up, Peyton got to see Santa…again. Seriously, she’s starting to look at Santas like a fairly chubby stalker….he’s everywhere we go! But the food was all gone, the kids got their presents and we were forced to leave. Making our way back the same way we came.

Right by the bookstore.

“Please OH PLEASE can we go to the bookstore, mommy!!”

“No.”

“Why not??”

“Because it’s closed.”

“Uh-huh, the lights are all on.”

“Oh well, I don’t think they carry good kids books there.”

BAD BAD BAD I knew it the moment the words came out of my mouth. There’s nothing like punching yourself in the face while driving down the highway.

“What kinds of books do they sell?”

I pulled my last panicked trick out of the parent’s avoidance handbook.

“Who wants ice cream for dessert??”

“Oooh me!! Me!!”

“Yeah, ice cream!”

Saved by DQ again.

Other than that, we had a fairly easy going weekend. Saturday night we went to the Badge Bowl. It’s the charity event football game between the Tampa Fire and Resue and the Tampa PD. Deep friend foods, firetruck rides, swat team helicopters landing in the middle of the field and sweaty firefighters and policemen…what’s not to love? It was such an amazing event, with our friend Brooke Martin and her family being honored as this year’s Badge Bowl recipients. They will be receiving a large portion of the money brought in through the night. The last count I heard, they raised somewhere in the ballpark of 40,000$!!! WOW

Sunday, instead of going to the party on-time, Nathaniel went off with his big buddy, Eddie to see an Imax movie about mummies and enjoy some time at MOSI. The girls and I napped in an attempt to recoup some of the lost sleep courtesy of the many events we’ve been going to. It was a nice and lazy day until our “Adventures in Adult Entertainment” episode.

I had to make an appointment for Peyton to head to the clinic tomorrow because she’s got a nasty cough that she’s had for over a month. They haven’t thought much about it, giving me allergy medicine to see if that fixes it but it is sounding worse and worse each day. So, we head up tomorrow to get checked out and potentially get a chest xray to see if anything interesting is going on in there.

f.r.o.G…fuly relying on God
—Anissa

This is a new video project I’ve finished. It’s dedicated to all the phenomenal cancer moms out there, and features many of the wonderful friends I’ve made and their cancer children. I can’t tell you enough how amazing these women are in their strength, faith and love. I’m so thankful that because God gave us this journey to walk, he has provided us so many tremendous people to travel with.

I have to ask how many people actually tried to lick their elbow after my last post. I got several emails about attempts to do this and it just cracked me up. Frankly, Rachael’s still trying to do it. Do I need to put “do not try this at home” disclaimers on this site now?

With Peter gone, finding time to posts in the midst of all we have going on seems harder to find. There’s so much to tell, but by the time I’d normally sit down to post, I’m exhausted. Really, the kids and I are finding our groove in being alone. There are times I’d really like to be able to do the “Just wait til your dad gets home” bit, but it doesn’t have the same lingering threat when you say “Just wait til your dad gets home at the end of the month!” Ohhhh boy, are you scared??? I know we will both have totally forgotten this moment, but for right this second, are you feeling a little threatened? Even just a little bit?

I’m excited to tell you that my friend Tammy did something really tremendous. A while back she told me that she admired the hair bands and bows that Peyton wore…I mean, who didn’t, right? But she went so far as to learn how to make them and then put packages together so that we could hand them out to the little girls from the clinic and the Children’s Cancer Center. So many of these girls have no hair, little hair like Peyton or hair that’s just crazy because it’s still growing in and these little bows are precious!! They were all accepted with huge smiles and many were put immediately into hair. Girls I’d never seen wearing a single “hair pretty” were sporting colorful ribbons and bows, and that was so sweet to see. What a huge gift and we are all so thankful to Tammy for her thoughtfulness and generosity.

Something Tammy did as well is hand down some really nice clothes. Christmas outfits for Peyton and sitting on top of the pile was a leopard print leotard….topped by bright colorful boots with FROGS on them…and a frog raincoat. With a big grin, she admits that she put them in there knowing that our little fashion mistress would probably wear them together at some point and she couldn’t wait to see them. She saw them, she oohed and aaahed and then bright and early the next day she came out in her newest outfit…the leopard print leotard and green frog boots. Again with the question “Did she dress herself?” No…Tammy did.

Thursday night the kids and I headed down to the Children’s Cancer Center for our last family group night of the year. It was all about Christmas, our umpteenth Christmas party, and it was so much fun. Many families were there, waiting to see Santa and to celebrate again. We had a really good time, but in the middle of it all, I was missing Pete so bad. Watching the dads pick up the little ones so they could see Santa handing out presents, seeing them get down and play with the new toys, I knew that Pete was missing it as much as I was. I’m excited that Pete will be home late next week and be able to work from home so that he’ll be here for almost two weeks. I’m not even telling the kids how long he’ll be here or when he’s arriving, but they know he’s coming home and we are all just praying the days pass quickly.

Waiting anxiously for Santa to call her name

Yeah!! I made the “nice” list this year

I have friend that are military wives or have done this extended separation thing and they share their experiences with me and they are so right about some of the issues. They tell me to be prepared for some adjustment when Pete gets home because we’ve been working so hard to get into our groove, learning to do things by ourselves. I guess I’m getting used to just doing things without finding out if Pete can go or not, we leave whenever I’m ready to go, we just have our own schedule now and it’s working. I have to do all the punishing and rewarding, I have to make each decision on a day to day basis without Pete here to input and that’s so hard. I know that this separation is what we have to do, that he’s doing great at his new job and this adjustment period is good for him in his new job, but we are missing him, it’s harder in some ways and easier in others for us. Please keep us all in prayers, we’re learning our way through this.

Yesterday, something truly amazing happened! Peyton and I had the opportunity to go out to lunch with some friends from Brandon, one of which was Sherry Tucker. Sherry and I met because her son Zack was lost to cancer and she’s been a dedicated heart to helping families of pediatric cancer through her Giving Hope Through Faith foundation and funding research for a cure. I just love being with Sherry, and her daughter Lexi and Peyton have bonded in a special way. We’ve known each other for over a year now and although we’ve talked many times, we’d never shared a whole lot about where we grew up or our childhoods. We’re sitting there, telling what we’re doing for the holidays and Sherry tells me that her family is going up to Indiana after Christmas. I knew they were from Indiana and I told her that we were going up in the spring for my grandfather’s 90th birthday party. She asked me where I’m from in Indiana and I explained how she’s probably never heard of it, it’s such a tiny, quiet non-heard-of town called Fairbanks.

Sherry eyeballs almost fell out of her head because we figured out that not only is she FROM Fairbanks…population 300 on a good day…but after talking to our parents, we found out that our parents knew each other in school, our grandparents were close friends and…are you sitting down?….we are related!!! Way down the line, her grandmother and my great-grandmother were first cousins. HELLO! I could not believe it, I still have a hard time comprehending all of this. I get to be related to Sherry and her family! That’s so very cool. Lexi and Peyton are actually cousins, and that’s just mind-boggling.

We keep our many friends who are battling cancer and those who hold them dear in our constant prayers. I hope that you are as well.

f.r.o.G…fully relying on God
—Anissa