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Spinning wheels

I just want to say that way back in 2007 when I posted here that we were moving, I didn’t expect to still be saying it in 2009.

We decided to have Peter move up there while we waited for the kids to finish school.

Then we decided that since we were so close we would wait for Peyton’s treatment to finish.

Then there was the port surgery.

Then we put an offer in on the house of our dreams.

And it fell through.

And now? Fifteen months after Peter moved up there, the kids and I are still living in Florida, waiting for the move.

It makes me want to bang my head on the floor and scream from frustration.

There was definitely a time there where the hesitation was all mine, I wasn’t sure I really wanted to move.  There came the moment when I asked Peter if he’d just look for another job. I finally came to acceptance that this is the direction our lives are taking. Embraced it.

Now?  I want to move. I want to go. I want to be gone from this house and driving northward with my children and all our helter-skelter possessions.  I want to be unpacking the umpteenth box and putting all our old stuff into new places.  I want to go to sleep at night under our new roof, knowing that tomorrow we’ll all be together.

And the day after that.

And the one after that.

And the one after that?

Yeah, that one too.

I’m tired of holding all this together down here.  My stuff, the kids’s stuff, Peter’s stuff that overflows into my stuff.

We are talking about putting an offer in on another house.

And my heart just feels so bruised from disappointment that I’m scared to get my hopes up that it’ll finally happen.

I only know if the spring comes and goes and I’m still here, holding the pieces of our family together, the floor tiles and I have a scheduled meeting.

There will be screaming. Possibly some wailing and pulling of hair.


Alright, friends, this is the LAST day to enter to win the IPod Touch contest…ends tonight at midnight.  GET on it!

26 Comments on “Spinning wheels”

  1. #1 Heather @ Domestic Extraordinaire
    on Mar 9th, 2009 at 8:12 am

    many hugs my friend. I know how hard it is to have your family split & in two places-it is uber hard. I have never had to do it for the time that you have-you are truly a remarkable woman with a remarkable famly (not that you didn’t know that) I am really praying that you guys get to go north soon.


    Heather @ Domestic Extraordinaires last blog post..Weekly Winners

  2. #2 Caffeinatrix
    on Mar 9th, 2009 at 8:16 am

    Don’t forget the gnashing of teeth 🙂

  3. #3 Adventures In Babywearing
    on Mar 9th, 2009 at 9:32 am

    I hope this is it for you!


  4. #4 Julianna
    on Mar 9th, 2009 at 10:00 am

    My fingers are crossed for you this time.

    Think, there will be a time when you look back at this and “remember when…”

    Juliannas last blog post..Bring it on, Mrs O

  5. #5 Nina
    on Mar 9th, 2009 at 12:21 pm

    I can’t even begin to imagine how you feel.
    I hope things work out and ya’ll are able to move and really be a family again

    Ninas last blog post..Vacation almost over….

  6. #6 Heather
    on Mar 9th, 2009 at 1:26 pm

    And you would think that in “this” market it would be easier to buy a fricken house!!! NOT!!! Hope it works out sooner than later for you and your family!!!

    Heathers last blog post..Colorado girls “DO IT” too….

  7. #7 Amo
    on Mar 9th, 2009 at 2:51 pm

    We lived apart for 8 months while we tried to sell TWO houses in TN. It was miserable. I cannot imagine going 15 months like that! I’m praying for you sister.

    Amos last blog post..…and leave the key under the mat too.

  8. #8 Asianmommy
    on Mar 9th, 2009 at 3:06 pm

    That must be so hard. Good luck on finding your new house!

    Asianmommys last blog post.."Glam I Am…NOT!" Guest post by Postpartum Diva

  9. #9 Janna
    on Mar 9th, 2009 at 5:06 pm

    I cannot imagine what you are going through. My husband is gone one week out of every month. My older son is homeschooled, so we just start our days MUCH later during that week!

    I do hope that all of this works out – and works out well. It gets really frustrating when our timing is just not God’s timing! (From experience, don’t forget that God has a wicked sense of humor – just sayin’!)

    Jannas last blog post..A Surreal Wife Moment

  10. #10 Kyla
    on Mar 9th, 2009 at 8:37 pm

    I hardly sleep when Josh is gone, so I don’t know how you’ve handled it for this long! I hope you are all together soon!

    Kylas last blog post..The Speech, Remix Edition

  11. #11 Pat Mayhew
    on Mar 9th, 2009 at 8:43 pm

    This situation is sooo hard on family ties. Have you considered renting a house or a large, 3 bedroom apartment near Pete’s job, so at least you could be together again? It seems so hard to have to pay mortgage payments on 2 houses in two different states! Have you put the house in Florida on the market yet? Or have you considered renting it out? I pray you will make the move soon so that you can be together as a family again. Praying for you all.

  12. #12 Natalie
    on Mar 9th, 2009 at 9:20 pm

    Big hugs, darlin. As much as it breaks my heart to have you move, it breaks it a millions times more that your family is hurting. Soon, my friend, you will all be together and be asking me, “When the heck are you going back to Florida already???”

    Love ya, may this weekend bring a new and improved BDH!!


    Natalies last blog post..The Search for a Name or The Diagnosis Part 2

  13. #13 AnissaM
    on Mar 9th, 2009 at 11:31 pm

    *great big hugs* thanks so much, Heather!

  14. #14 AnissaM
    on Mar 9th, 2009 at 11:32 pm

    Yes, and possibly some ripping of clothing and ashes upon my head. No telling, sort of makes you curious to see what happens, no?

  15. #15 AnissaM
    on Mar 9th, 2009 at 11:33 pm

    Oh me too, badly!

  16. #16 AnissaM
    on Mar 9th, 2009 at 11:34 pm

    Remember when I thought we’d all be living in a cardboard box but just didn’t care anymore?

    Maybe cross some toes for us too. And send pictures.

  17. #17 AnissaM
    on Mar 9th, 2009 at 11:34 pm

    Oh me too, Nina. I can’t wait!

  18. #18 AnissaM
    on Mar 9th, 2009 at 11:35 pm

    I KNOW! Right? Come on, bailout, do us some good here. I hope that this is the one.

  19. #19 AnissaM
    on Mar 9th, 2009 at 11:36 pm

    ugggg, at least we have renters for the house we can’t sell in FL. We’d never be moving if we had to wait on this one to sell.

  20. #20 AnissaM
    on Mar 9th, 2009 at 11:36 pm

    Thanks so much!! *hugs*

  21. #21 AnissaM
    on Mar 9th, 2009 at 11:37 pm

    I feel like God’s gotta be tired of me saying “I know it’s all in your time, but maybe, just maybe? you could speed things up a little?” Seems wrong, no?

  22. #22 Marie
    on Mar 9th, 2009 at 11:37 pm

    Ugh, what a horrible situation. I hope you will have success with the next house! I do like Pat’s idea though, have you considered it? Renting a house or apartment over there while you continue looking for a house to buy? That way you could sell the old house, be together and take your time looking for the right house. Maybe something to think about if the new house doesn’t work out.

  23. #23 AnissaM
    on Mar 9th, 2009 at 11:38 pm

    I drink. A lot.

    No, really, YOU all have been a big part of me staying sane thought this. I cannot thank you enough.

  24. #24 AnissaM
    on Mar 9th, 2009 at 11:39 pm

    We LUCKILY already have a renter waiting for our house in FL. That is already taken care of and I could not be more thankful. As for renting, if this house doesn’t come through for us we are definitely going to do that and just accept it as what is supposed to be. Is fine with me, as long as we get there. You know?

  25. #25 Mary in ATL
    on Mar 10th, 2009 at 9:12 pm

    Is the plan still “heading to Atlanta” ? Your greeting committe is still waiting for you here!

  26. #26 Mary Murray
    on Mar 15th, 2009 at 8:14 pm

    Hopefully this will be the one!! We too are trying to buy a house, although we have a deadline…If we stay here after 8-1 our rent jumps 60%, so we have to find something before then.