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Parenting FAIL: The Conversation Edition

Peyton – Why is my poo green? Yesterday it was yellow. I have RAINBOW butt!

Nathaniel – Ohhh! You said the word you said I couldn’t say even if I was on fire.

Rachael – What do you call that? *poke poke*
Me – Muffin top
Rachael – You might need to lay off the muffins, mom

Me – I wish you listened better
Peyton – I wish you said better stuff

Nathaniel – MY new room will be a girl-free zone!
Me – I’m a girl, am I going to be banished from your room?
Nathaniel – No way, you do my laundry, you can come up any time.
Me – *sigh*

Peyton – I didn’t know your boobs have eyes!

Me in McDonalds – If you make that clicking noise one more time I’m going to have them cut out your tongue, deep fry it and serve it on a bun with special sauce and THEN? You have to eat it!
McDonald’s Employee – *extremely dirty look*

Me – Soooo, what did you think of getting to spend the whole weekend with your cousins? (Teenage cousins that my kids are just getting to know)
Rachael – They like boys!
Me – That’s it? THAT is what you learned about your cousins?
Rachael – Well, they…they…yeah, they like boys.

Nathaniel – Chowder (a cartoon character) has MAN-Boobs!

Peyton – Were we born in order of age?

Nathaniel – Can I have a Facebook account?
Me – Nope
Nathaniel – Why not?
Me – Because I want you to have a chance at being a useful member of society?
Nathaniel – But YOU have one
Me – I’ll let you figure that one out on your own

20 Comments on “Parenting FAIL: The Conversation Edition”

  1. #1 Sarah@Momalom
    on May 26th, 2009 at 9:20 pm

    Totally hysterical. Man boobs and muffin tops. Yes, totally hysterical. Your kids are even making ME laugh – out here in cyberspace. 🙂

    Sarah@Momaloms last blog post..101 Things about Sarah, by Sarah

  2. #2 Megan
    on May 26th, 2009 at 9:30 pm


  3. #3 Miss Grace
    on May 26th, 2009 at 11:07 pm

    This made me LOL.

  4. #4 Christine
    on May 26th, 2009 at 11:37 pm

    Oh so funny. gold!! (this is me delurking, i already follow you on twitter)

  5. #5 alayna
    on May 26th, 2009 at 11:51 pm

    LOVE the boobs have eyes! Too funny! And I definitely think your apples have not fallen too far from your tree!

    alaynas last blog post..What I’ve been doing!

  6. #6 Janna
    on May 27th, 2009 at 8:01 am

    Never a dull moment! Thanks, I needed that laugh this morning!!

    Jannas last blog post..Top Ten Fun Activities for this Summer

  7. #7 Drew G
    on May 27th, 2009 at 8:20 am

    Umm . . . once again you bring hilarity into my life !!!

  8. #8 moosh in indy.
    on May 27th, 2009 at 8:39 am

    At least you’re raising them with a healthy sense of humor and irony.

  9. #9 Jenny
    on May 27th, 2009 at 9:25 am

    Remind Nathaniel that his room is a girl free zone when he is a teenager!!

  10. #10 Tracey
    on May 27th, 2009 at 10:16 am

    Thanks for the morning laugh!!! A great way to start my day 🙂

  11. #11 Awesome Mom
    on May 27th, 2009 at 10:24 am


  12. #12 Carissa
    on May 27th, 2009 at 1:16 pm

    yeah I’ll let him figure that one out! how funny! ….

  13. #13 Scary Mommy
    on May 27th, 2009 at 7:42 pm

    I love those— we’ve heard the rainbow butt around here too. Lovely.

  14. #14 rachel-asouthernfairytale
    on May 27th, 2009 at 7:57 pm

    Friggin’ Fantastic!!!

  15. #15 Jennifer Borg
    on May 27th, 2009 at 8:09 pm

    You are my idol. I shall start worshipping you immediately. Don’t tell Jill. She’ll be mad.

  16. #16 Holly at Tropic of Mom
    on May 27th, 2009 at 10:48 pm

    Snort! I wish you said better stuff … I didn’t know your boobs had eyes … Peyton is so darn funny!

    Holly at Tropic of Moms last blog post..Do you speak dog?

  17. #17 ciara
    on May 28th, 2009 at 2:06 am

    hahahaha and why do people look at us funny when we talk to our kids like that? isn’t that the way all moms speak to their kids? hehe 😉

    ciaras last blog post..Sexis Review

  18. #18 Kyla
    on May 28th, 2009 at 10:29 am

    Glad to know the conversations are similar in other households!

  19. #19 Elisa
    on Aug 2nd, 2009 at 10:53 am

    Girl, those are funny kids. maybe one day they’ll be able to support you in your old age with their comedic genius.

  20. #20 Residential Swim School
    on Jun 4th, 2010 at 12:52 pm

    Hahaha! Very funny comments!

    I often think that the comments I hear from the children at the swim school are the wittiest and funniest things I ever hear!