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On with the raping and pillaging!

Nathaniel turned eleven yesterday.  We did the birthday celebration with friends and food and cake and ice cream and singing and WHEEEE! and lots of conversations revolving around the words “shoot”, “stab” and “fart”.

Good times!

…and yet.

The fact that my firstborn turned eleven wasn’t the biggest jab in the force field that keeps me safe from things like aging and cellulite…it was the DREAD of what I’m doing today.

What would that be?

I’m taking my kids to the Gasparilla Children’s Parade…we’re riding on a huge float and throwing beads and celebrating years of Tampa-based piracy…and to do so I’m supposed to wear something along these lines:




*Which, yo, BlogHer buddies, I’m so bringing this outfit to Chicago! ARGGGGG*

And while my dreams would be to look like this when all the dressing and corsetting and hoisting of the bosoms is complete….


I think we all know that it’s going to end up something more like this…


Happy birthday, Nathaniel!  As a show of my love, I’m going to humiliate you in public and probably post pictures of it on the internet.

You can thank me later.

10 Comments on “On with the raping and pillaging!”

  1. #1 Kyla
    on Jan 24th, 2009 at 9:30 am

    Well, that would make you easier to pick out of a crowd at BlogHer. 😉

    Happy belated birthday, Nathaniel!

  2. #2 Melisa
    on Jan 24th, 2009 at 9:49 am

    Awesome outfits!

    Can you bring one for me to wear, too? I should be able to get at least PART of my body shoved into it, somehow…

    Happy b-day Nathaniel!

  3. #3 katie ~ motherbumper
    on Jan 24th, 2009 at 10:20 am

    oh my goodness, I’ve been to that parade before – I have the jewels (but not the booty) to prove it. Have a blast – argggggggh mateys (and I expect pictures)

  4. #4 Brittany
    on Jan 24th, 2009 at 10:40 am

    HAHAHAHAHA! Can you please promise to post pictures of this!??!?!

  5. #5 Maria
    on Jan 24th, 2009 at 11:38 am


  6. #6 Caffeinatrix
    on Jan 24th, 2009 at 12:07 pm

    Nat was supposed to walk in it with her school but she decided not to, which is good because then *I* would have had to walk in it, too, which frankly doesn’t seem like nearly as much fun as riding on a float in one of those costumes. So…we will be hangin’ by the garden club lawn and watching from the crowd. Throw me some beads!!!

  7. #7 Fear and Parenting i
    on Jan 24th, 2009 at 4:43 pm

    BWAHAHAHAHA! You need to at least save the outfit for national talk like a pirate day! Can’t wait to see the pics! ARRRRRRRR!

  8. #8 kp
    on Jan 24th, 2009 at 6:27 pm

    really? You celebrated with a cake? Really? I soooo don’t recall you asking me to make a cake for you. Hmmmm….I must have forgotten all about that. I see how you are. Tell me that I make great, cool, awesome cakes and then sneak off to Publix. You know, I only have a short time to be able to even make you a cake. Well, maybe I can make your going away cake. You better ask me to anyway.

  9. #9 Dawn
    on Jan 25th, 2009 at 7:24 pm

    Happy Belated Birthday Nathaniel. Tell your Mum to get her act together next year and let everyone know the day before and not the day afterwards!! Anyway, hope you had a great day.

    Anissa, I pick outfit number one – can’t wait to see the promised photo’s. Just be nice to Nathaniel and don’t humiliate him too much!!!

  10. #10 Queen of the Mayhem
    on Jan 25th, 2009 at 9:50 pm

    Just for the record….I saw the boob pics of the dress…and….you looked pretty HAWT! Course…that could be even more embarassing to an 11 year old boy! 🙂