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I could totally be napping right now

I got a bunch of emails yesterday asking, “WHY are you up at 2AM every night? GO to bed, already!”

Sort of outraged and all accuse-y like.  Like I don’t like sleep. I DO!  Oh boy, do I.  I love sleep.  Like a fat kid loves cake.  mmmm, cake.

So, here are the reasons I’m up all dang night:

  • Peyton’s quit using Pull-ups and I’d either have to wake up to her crawling in bed with me full of urine stank or just stay up and get her up for that one last potty run of the night (which I’m always thankful I do because she does that six minute long Austin Powers’ style pee).
  • My body’s never quite gotten over the sleep-deprivation of the past 4 years.  After the stroke, I was always tired and napped like a newborn and it got better, but then keeping Peyton’s hours during treatment just totally whacked me out.  Now I seem to want to sleep for short spurts and nap instead of straight nights of sleep.  Wondering if that’ll ever straighten out.
  • I think I’m part vampire because I can get so much more done if the sun’s not up.  FOR real!  If I can get over the 2-3PM slump, I get all jazzy around 8 and then I can just multitask like no one’s business.  Right now, as I’m writing this at 12:59 AM, I’m on Twitter, I’m stirring my secret-lab brew, building a Facebook page for a site AND chugging out load after load of laundry.
  • I have always been a night owl, I used to think the world was out of balance if I didn’t see the sunrise before I went to bed. However, that was before I had kids and those little stinkers get up at 7 AM like clockwork, weekends not withstanding.
  • I have all these new buddies on the west coast, which means if I want to chat with them I have to stay up til they finish dinner.  Yeah, I’m blaming it on you, Heather!
  • I have this weird insomnia thing since Peter’s been gone.  I can’t get in bed and just pass out unless I’m dead exhausted. Otherwise I toss and turn and end up falling asleep at 2AM anyways.  And if anyone comments on how sweet it is that I can’t sleep without my husband, know that I nearly put my foot in his kidneys this last trip home because HE’S gotten used to sleeping in the middle of the bed. So, I can’t sleep with him HERE either.
  • All the BEST infomercials are on after 1 AM…not kidding!

I will give a one year subscription to Picnik Premium (the best online photo-editing software) to the person who knows why this will go down in history as my favorite commercial OF.ALL.TIME. If more than one of you gets the REASON, I’ll have a random pull on Friday. *snort* It’s not hard to figure out.

20 Comments on “I could totally be napping right now”

  1. #1 Amo
    on Mar 5th, 2009 at 8:26 am

    Did he just say, “I love my nuts!”?! Holy hell.

    Between that and the little stars popping up on the screen, I think I love this one too. (And I don’t usually laugh before 8 a.m.)

    Amos last blog post..…and leave the key under the mat too.

  2. #2 mommymae
    on Mar 5th, 2009 at 8:33 am

    While there are plenty of doozies to pick from my favorite is “you’re gonna love my nuts.” although, I don’t want a boring tuna either.

    mommymaes last blog post..my bad(-ass) belly*

  3. #3 Heather @ Domestic Extraordinaire
    on Mar 5th, 2009 at 8:49 am

    Flipping awesome!

    Alright crazy infomercial guy-what if I don’t mind my eggs being boring. And I really don’t think I want to love your nuts!”

    P.S. I don’t need picnik prem. I already have-so if I get the answer right just take my name off the list-thanks hon!

    Heather @ Domestic Extraordinaires last blog post..Wordless Wednesday-I can’t be the only one who sees this edition

  4. #4 Niki a.k.a. Mommielicious
    on Mar 5th, 2009 at 8:59 am

    Let me guess… you LOVE his nuts?? Did you REALLY think more than one person wouldn’t figure that one out?? I didn’t even have to watch it to konw the answer to that one!

  5. #5 Niki a.k.a. Mommielicious
    on Mar 5th, 2009 at 9:03 am

    Fettuccine, Linguine, Martini, Bikini – really, who uses cheese with the last 2??

    Never mind – I take that back – I don’t want to know (my sneaking suspicion is its the older lady with the sunglasses in the testimonial section)

    Niki a.k.a. Mommieliciouss last blog post..Who wants the Clap for Valentines Day???

  6. #6 Niki a.k.a. Mommielicious
    on Mar 5th, 2009 at 9:05 am

    Put a mango?? That was a strawberry??? The Mango was already in there?? Im confused

    Niki a.k.a. Mommieliciouss last blog post..Who wants the Clap for Valentines Day???

  7. #7 Peter Mayhew
    on Mar 5th, 2009 at 9:08 am

    It’s because everyone loves Vince’s nuts.

    Peter Mayhews last blog post..I could totally be napping right now

  8. #8 Melisa
    on Mar 5th, 2009 at 9:11 am

    “You’re gonna love my nuts!”

    I did a post on it last week:

    Melisas last blog post..Ping Pong Would Have Been Much Cheaper, But Wouldn’t Have Provided Moments Such As This One.

  9. #9 just mom
    on Mar 5th, 2009 at 9:21 am

    Now how does he know I’m gonna love his nuts? Sheesh! Little full of yourself, aren’t you Vince? *rolling eyes*

    ‘And it comes with a cover. So you can do everything in the cover. Aaight? Or you can do it on the board. Whatever you like. So easy. I can do it with one finger. If I can do it with one finger, you guys can do it with your whole hand. Kids can do it.’

    Mmmmkay. I don’t think I want my kids doing it, thankyouverymuch Mr. Slappy! Perv.

    Y’know though, this commercial is like a bad accident. You just can’t not look.

    Oh yeah. One question. Why is it every time he says something about the Graty, I get the urge to watch Sanford and Son reruns?

    Sorry. That’s Grady, isn’t it? *tee hee*

  10. #10 Jen
    on Mar 5th, 2009 at 9:44 am

    I totally thought it would be the “boring tuna” bit but then he said “you’ll love my nuts”. I just snorted…at my desk…at work…at 7:30 in the morning. Thank you for that.

    Jens last blog post..Wednesday Whine…cheese optional

  11. #11 Rhonda
    on Mar 5th, 2009 at 9:46 am

    I think it’s just cause you get to SLAP something! Instead of someone to get out your frustrations! And I’ve never seen his nuts-so I don’t know how I like them!

    Rhondas last blog post..Hi/Lo Thursday

  12. #12 Julianna
    on Mar 5th, 2009 at 9:50 am

    I snorted too with “you’ll love my nuts”

    Good for a laugh. I’d love to have Vince at Thanksgiving dinner. You know he’s got some old uncle who loves to bust his chops.

    Juliannas last blog post..Bring it on, Mrs O

  13. #13 Awesome Mom
    on Mar 5th, 2009 at 10:18 am

    I am a night owl too and it is hard to have freaky early bird people around me. Night time is the only time I get peace and quiet.

  14. #14 Alisha Bolyer
    on Mar 5th, 2009 at 3:04 pm

    He said “you’re gonna love my nuts”!! He actually said that. I know that’s why you love the infomercial, right??????

  15. #15 Normal to Natalie
    on Mar 5th, 2009 at 3:57 pm

    i think tea came out of my nose when he said “you are gonna love my nuts!” thanks for the laugh!!!!!

    Normal to Natalies last blog post..My Favorites

  16. #16 Shawn
    on Mar 6th, 2009 at 9:57 am

    Ahhh a good ‘ol Jersey boy that doesn’t want to cry while “slapping his nuts!”

    This may be worth staying up late for! Oh wait I think I saw him at my last trip to Costco, never mind I can stay in bed!

    All of this for the low, low, price of $19.95 (don’t forget about the $29.95 shipping) plus all the extras!

    Where’s my freaking phone?!

  17. #17 lisa
    on Mar 6th, 2009 at 11:30 am

    Since it’s you it’s definitely the “you’re gonna love my nuts” but seriously this guy is hilarious!

  18. #18 Fear and Parenting in Las Vegas
    on Mar 6th, 2009 at 5:04 pm


    “You’re gonna love my nuts”

    Okay, I’m up way too late too. Now I’m gonna IM you when I’m up. Feel free to ignore me. Everyone else does.

    Fear and Parenting in Las Vegass last blog post..Friday Funnies: Cupcakery

  19. #19 Megan (mommyesquire)
    on Mar 6th, 2009 at 8:25 pm

    Well, if you were vamipre, you would never sleep. How great would that be? Skinny, beautiful and never needing sleep. Now that’s something I’d trade my soul for. Just kidding… sort of.

  20. #20 heather...
    on Mar 7th, 2009 at 5:39 am


    Hey, it’s not MY fault I live somewhere awesome. Move here, then you won’t be up so late.
    ~said the girl commenting on your blog at 1:39 am

    heather…s last blog post..Dirty Tricks