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How to be a complete moron and still get things DONE!

Ok, something very good happened in Anissa-land yesterday.

I mean GOOD! Like ice cream for breakfast good…finding out napping is actually the highest calorie burning activity good…I can only imagine licking the sweat from Hugh Jackman’s belly button good…sponsored trips to Chicago for BlogHer good.

And guess which one actually happened?

Bingo! You’re totally right!

Me and Hugh are running away together. Sorry, Pete, I love you dearly, but I know you’d totally respect that I’m leaving you for the dude that plays Wolverine.  <–Trust me, if I were to leave him for Hugh EVER, being able to tell people his wife ditched him for Wolverine would probably be the highlight of the whole thing.

In fact, I can almost hear the conversation in my head, “I was such a paragon of manhood she had to find a guy who heals himself and shoots claws out of his fists to top me. I hope he accidentally stabs her in the face.”

He can’t even deny that’s how he’d tell the story.

Where was I?

I was going somewhere with this.

OH! Right! Good things! Happy things! Things that make me go SQUEEEEEE!

So, I got a sponsorship from a company whose very name makes me tingle.

And you want to know my trick? My secret mojo? My master plan?


For free, yo.

Went something like this:

On Twitter one day I sent out a message

@awesomeperson Hey, awesomeperson, soooo who’s your company sending to BlogHer?  I haz need of teh sponsor  { <–please note the use of mangled English, companies love it when they know you’re a completely illiterate spaz…that writes…as a job. }

She responds

@AnissaMayhew I don’t know yet, I’ll find out and you should wait patiently and be a nice NOT-obnoxious person and I’m sure I can find out for you

So, I spend many days bugging the crap out of her and then decide to leave her alone (she might have thrown out the words “restraining order” but I know she only meant it in a joking way, a LOT of my friends are in on that same gag, they use it all the time…like Oprah).

After which I made the awesome-TASTIC move of twittering her a totally inappropriate joke {which I almost NEVER do on Twitter} RIGHT in the MIDDLE of a webinar she was hosting for a bunch of big shot people who hang out with other big shot people and make with the large amount of moneys and decision-making of what to do with that money….and those people? All got to see my snarky tweet to her.


At her job.

That people pay her to do.


Are you taking notes? These are pearls of networking wisdom I’m throwing out here, people!  You can learn from my genius.

And this, my friends, is how I managed to convince someone at HP to give me money to go on a trip to Chicago this summer. I may not have included all 25 steps, but I’m leaving you room to improvise.  Two-headed kittens somewhere around step 16 is a GREAT idea.

I’m sure HP is feeling very proud of their decision right now.

But I totally recorded the phone conversation, so I’m pretty sure that’s considered legally binding.

AND?? There may be some bonus benefits for those of you trying to get to BlogHer yourselves, but are finding the $$$ hard to come by.  However, I am just the kind of person that will throw that bone out there and then tell you I don’t have any details to share with you yet.

21 Comments on “How to be a complete moron and still get things DONE!”

  1. #1 Jodee
    on May 30th, 2009 at 2:41 am

    Yeah so glad you get to go on someone else’s dime woot!

    Jodees last blog post..Atlanta

  2. #2 Brittany
    on May 30th, 2009 at 8:43 am

    Damn it, this post is so funny in so many places, I can’t even C&P them all! Hilarious skills.


    Brittanys last blog post..I look and smell disgusting, but normally I am a total hottie.

  3. #3 Heather @ Domestic Extraordinaire
    on May 30th, 2009 at 12:14 pm

    dude, that is total genius! I thought of twittering said person about our dead HP-the one that died a horrible death-saying that she could revive my hope in HP’s-that they aren’t solid pieces of machine-but I didn’t want to come off as begging or pushy. I think I could apply these sponsorship tactics to those of other means ;O)

    But am I motivated enough to do any of it, probably not.

    Heather @ Domestic Extraordinaires last blog post..I go from crazy to shampoo in 6.5 seconds flat

  4. #4 rachel-asouthernfairytale
    on May 30th, 2009 at 12:15 pm

    You are so stinkin’ hysterical 😉 I <3 you! YAY!! Now we’re both sponsored and we’re both going and YAY!!!!

  5. #5 fiona
    on May 30th, 2009 at 12:33 pm

    I always knew you were brilliant! That is awesome. Dude, I just want s measly ticket and I’ll even pay for it!

    fionas last blog post..How To Gain 14 Pounds In One Year – or – Discovering Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred – or – Death Sucks

  6. #6 Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting
    on May 30th, 2009 at 1:32 pm

    Fan~fricken~tastical!!! I AM SO STOKED FOR YOU!!! Woohoo!

    Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parentings last blog post..Surprise Baby

  7. #7 E
    on May 30th, 2009 at 2:49 pm

    You truly are the female version of Denis Leary!

  8. #8 Blogging Mom
    on May 31st, 2009 at 3:37 am

    You’re a genius! And you deserve this sponsorship! Thanks for sharing these tips. It really helps a lot!

    Blogging Moms last blog post..How To Talk To Kids About Sex

  9. #9 Maria
    on May 31st, 2009 at 9:54 am

    That’s awesome, lady!! Good job!

    Marias last blog post..discovering lovely blogs

  10. #10 Jennifer
    on Jun 1st, 2009 at 12:55 am

    Well crap! I gave my 2 headed kitten to CBCS for the science department. I think that would be Greenaker, right? Maybe she’ll let me have it back. With it, I would be able to start my plan of Poop Domination. Yes, that’s it…..

  11. #11 Janna
    on Jun 1st, 2009 at 1:18 pm

    Did one of the steps involve your behind or b00bies on a HP printer/copier? Just wondering…

    Congrats on the sponsor! We do love some HP around our house!

    Jannas last blog post..The "As Promised" Fluffy Blog Post

  12. #12 Heidi
    on Jun 2nd, 2009 at 2:54 pm

    you are amazing. I am relatively new to this blogging thing so I know these are stupid questions but here goes:
    1. What is the blogher conference? why would i go? what do you get out of it?
    2. What is blissdom?

    I’m just trying to figure out all this social media stuff and I’m getting old and I just don’t get it but I’m willing to learning!!

    Heidis last blog post..Help Wanted!

  13. #13 AnissaM
    on Jun 2nd, 2009 at 6:52 pm

    You aren’t kidding! I will gladly sell my soul to a corporate sponsor…without shame.

  14. #14 AnissaM
    on Jun 2nd, 2009 at 6:53 pm

    We’re going to BlogHer!! We’re going to BlogHer!!!

  15. #15 AnissaM
    on Jun 2nd, 2009 at 6:54 pm

    Oh HAI, did you you just call me a pushy beggar?

    Cause I totally AM…and holy freaking crap, it worked! So, yes…be pushy, be confident in your value (HEH) and tell them they are stupid not to sponsor you because how can you not want a piece of THIS?

    They eat that stuff UP!

  16. #16 AnissaM
    on Jun 2nd, 2009 at 6:55 pm

    If I were you…I wouldn’t pack any shoes you REALLY like and are planning to go home with.

    don’t say you weren’t warned.

  17. #17 AnissaM
    on Jun 2nd, 2009 at 6:56 pm

    Did you get on the waiting list? I’m seeing tickets starting to pop up for sale all over twitter these days, don’t give up hope.

    AND you can always just buy a party pass…I have a full ticket but am realizing that I’ll make it to nearly NONE of the actual panels…I’m going more for the people!

  18. #18 AnissaM
    on Jun 2nd, 2009 at 6:57 pm

    Are you stoked because I got sponsorship or the Hugh-love I have going on? RAWWWWR

  19. #19 AnissaM
    on Jun 2nd, 2009 at 6:58 pm

    I am going to take that as a compliment! LOL

  20. #20 AnissaM
    on Jun 2nd, 2009 at 7:24 pm

    ummmm….no? maybe? of course not! do you think I would lower myself to that level? (which I think we both totally know I would)

  21. #21 AnissaM
    on Jun 2nd, 2009 at 7:38 pm

    Hey, Heidi

    BlogHer is a huge network for bloggers, get thee hence to http://www.blogher.com and hook up with an account. They have a pretty good ad network as well, so if you’re interested in running ads they’re a great place to start.

    They host the blogher conference each year, there will be hundreds of bloggers attending from all realms of blogging and it’s an amazing chance to network with companies, get your name out there and meet people you’ve been peeing your pants to see in person. It’s the Oscars of blogging conventions. If you can only do one conference, that’s the one you want to be at (unless you want to come to Asheville NC this fall for a conference called Type A Mom, I’m speaking at that one).

    Blissdom is a conference around the website Blissfully Domestic….it’s much of the same and I went for the first time this year and met amazing people and had a great time.

    They are all just really tremendous events to meet like-minded people, to learn from other bloggers and to raise your site’s profile and make relationships with companies that are eager to work with the blogging community.

    I hope that gives a basic rundown of the conferences! I hope you get the chance to attend one or all of them in the future.

    Best of luck with your new blog.