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Having THE talk with my son….NO, not THAT one

We have a lot of talks up in this house.

Lately it’s felt like a lot of them have revolved around Nathaniel, eleven years old and on the cusp.  Cusp of what?  Oh, things I’m sure I don’t want to think about: middle school, puberty, the edge of my sanity.

Lots of fun stuff!

I, completely and shamelessly, threw Pete under the bus on the puberty talk…to which end no talk was given, but a stick of deodorant was purchased.  Wheeew! And I thought that one might be hard. Good on ya, Dad. *snickers remembering the look on Pete’s face when I told him it was time for THE talk*

My kids know what I do on the computer, they know that I have all this blog stuff I do.  They’ll ask me if I’m Twittering or if I’m texting.  They understand what I do better than, say, their grandmothers do.  They’re kids of the tech generation, they GET that mom has a website…and that they’re the main subject. I show them all the time and I don’t allow them to read the heavy stuff, but I do tell them when I post about something they said or did that was funny.

In fact, they’ll ask, “Are you going to blog about this, mom?”

But after posting about homework and punishment woes, I thought it might actually be time to have another important talk with the boy-child.

Bloggers will be arguing it til the end of time: what is mine to tell and what is encroaching on my kids’ privacy?

I never want my kids to look back and be embarrassed or feel ashamed by the things that I wrote about them.  I want them to know I respected them as people, as my most prized treasures, and treated them as such online.  I sometimes struggle with using their real names online, photos of them that anyone could identify and whether they’ll be understanding or miffed further down the road.

I sat down with Nathaniel and told him that I’d posted about him getting in trouble and about taking away his DS.  He didn’t even bat an eyelash.

“I sort of expected that you would.”


“Well, you blog about all the important stuff that happens to us and that was a pretty big deal for me.”

So, I just threw it out there.  I asked him if he was ok with me posting about him, writing about him on a website that any of his friends could find, his teachers could be reading, strangers he’ll never meet know he got busted and busted HARD.

“Yeah.  I like it when you write about me.  It makes me feel like I’m famous or something.”

Delusions of grandeur.  We haz ’em.

We talked about him having the right to tell me at any time that he wants me to stop writing about him or if there’s something he feels is off limits.  I swore on my mommy card that I would never post about his ACTUAL puberty (although, holy bob on a biscuit do I just KNOW there’s going to be a wealth of laughs just waiting to happen) and that I’d never post anything to deliberately embarrass him.

His father? No such oath was sworn.  So, he’s fair game, right?

Then my son made my heart sing.

“I think you do a good job with your blog thing, mom, people read it and I’m proud of you.”

blog + my son is proud of me = SUCCESS!

If I never get another comment, if every blog job I have dries up tomorrow and I never write another word, THIS was all I needed.


Ok, maybe just this one embarrassing photo, just to get it out of my system and then NO more.

He was only 4, he’ll forgive me, right?


14 Comments on “Having THE talk with my son….NO, not THAT one”

  1. #1 MommyNamedApril
    on Mar 3rd, 2009 at 8:08 am

    LMAO!!!! great picture! How sweet that he’s proud of you 🙂 I hope my boys will be proud one day too.

    MommyNamedAprils last blog post..I May Be An Idiot. But JJ’s Not.

  2. #2 Heather @ Domestic Extraordinaire
    on Mar 3rd, 2009 at 8:56 am

    It is a fine line that we walk as bloggers who blog about their life. So many times our life is not just our own and we have to realize what we write effects others. I think you do a really good job of balancing that line. I think it is awesome that he is so proud of you! Hugs!

    Heather @ Domestic Extraordinaires last blog post..Haiku Friday: My child is too old edition

  3. #3 Niki a.k.a. Mommielicious
    on Mar 3rd, 2009 at 9:00 am

    THIS is the post you show him when it’s time for the “real” talk and toss in that this is the picture that will be show to any future g/f’s.

    I’m just kidding Nathaniel – don’t worry!

  4. #4 Tracy
    on Mar 3rd, 2009 at 12:08 pm

    Sounds like you’ve got a good kid there, even if he’s a pro at testing his parents- but isn’t that a kids job.

    And for that talk, my kids dad asked me about that conversation last night as I drove him back to his place after we did our taxes. Like Matt would ever talk to him 😉 this kid wont wear the deodorant I got him 3 years ago (hygiene is not high on his list of worries unless it will help him play video games). Though at 13 we are getting to the point where we will have to push the conversation… and embarrass him. In the past I’ve asked him if he wants to have that talk, and was secretly happy when he said he wasn’t ready.

  5. #5 Amo
    on Mar 3rd, 2009 at 12:57 pm

    That’s so sweet. My sons still think I have a ‘real job’ so I can play on here all the time! I’m sure they will be so angry when they realize I’ve been keeping track of their every move. But the best part will be when I find that perfect post to use the pic of my 5yo eating cereal out of a coffee cup wearing a pair of sponge bob tighty-whities and swim goggles. Oh yes, I will use it…just not yet.

    And I can’t wait for him to find it on there years later…heh.

    Amos last blog post..We may be loosing touch…

  6. #6 Shawn
    on Mar 3rd, 2009 at 1:18 pm

    Just wait to your girls are older.

    My 14 year old has put the kabash on a lot of what I felt was innocent blog material. Teenage girls are such fun!

  7. #7 AJ
    on Mar 3rd, 2009 at 2:05 pm

    Awww, you’re raising such a respectful, sweet boy, and at 11 that’s no small potatoes! Nice job!!

    I hope that when my two year old Satan Spawn, I mean little boy, is 11, that he’s that considerate.

  8. #8 Basi
    on Mar 3rd, 2009 at 4:13 pm

    I’m proud of you, too, Anissa. You are an excellent blogger. I’m glad you’re following your path. Before the cancer we had a plan, but that plan got scrapped didn’t it. What happened is that another path started under our feet and we didn’t question where it was going, we just followed.

    I was wondering how Delaney’s mom and dad were doing. Last week on Oscar night we ended up in the hospital. Last year on Oscar night, I got an e-mail from you about Delaney. Not a week goes by that I don’t think about her and send a prayer for her family.

  9. #9 Fear and Parenting in Las Vegas
    on Mar 3rd, 2009 at 4:56 pm

    That’s awesome! I’m just hoping my kids don’t sue me for their therapy bills later.

    Fear and Parenting in Las Vegass last blog post..Focusing on the forward.

  10. #10 just mom
    on Mar 3rd, 2009 at 5:15 pm

    ROFLOL! Ain’t you a stinker for throwing that pic in? 😉

    I have to agree with everyone else who’s said you have every right to be proud of your guy. What amazingly sweet and thoughtful words for an eleven year old to say about his mom and what she does!

    Yeeeeeeah, I’m not quite getting the same reaction from the little people who live with me. I’m quite active on one forum and my eldest is constantly hovering behind me when I’m posting so she can edit and delete what she feels is not share-worthy. . . like, ooooh, everything I try to say about her. She’s even going through this thing now where everything is all about her ‘privacy policy’. Like no moms, dads, or sibs allowed in the bathroom while she’s getting a shower, in her bedroom, listening to her phone conversations. . . Oh yeah. SHE’S NINE!! Eep!

    I just yesterday did my first ever blog entry – and haven’t had the courage yet to go public with the linky-doo. But when I finally do, I’m sure I’ll be asking the same questions about how much personal info I’ll want to put out there. Or maybe more appropriately, how much the fruit of my loins will permit. 😉

  11. #11 Melisa
    on Mar 3rd, 2009 at 7:03 pm


    I was feeling all warm and fuzzy with you and then you sprung that photo on me. I laughed my badonkadonk off. (If only that were truly possible!)

    Melisas last blog post..If You See Me Laughing At GNC, It’s Probably Because of This.

  12. #12 Gwen
    on Mar 3rd, 2009 at 7:38 pm

    Well, at LEAST he was sitting down! HA!!!

  13. #13 Carrie
    on Mar 3rd, 2009 at 10:38 pm

    Don’t you love when they make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? Then, they go into the family room and smack their younger bother, and the warm, fuzzy feeling goes away to be replaced by total irritation. But that’s just me. 🙂

    Carries last blog post..Sick House

  14. #14 Brittany
    on Mar 4th, 2009 at 8:51 am

    AWWWW! Ok, that was absolutely adorable, good for him for being such a charmer!

    And yeah, sorry peter, but I am with your wife, you are an adult, everything you do is fair game, no Blog HIPPA available for the spouses:)

    Brittanys last blog post..Martyr.