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Getting De-ported

I’m only going to say this once: I’m totally legal, I’m a citizen! No one’s getting deported.  What we’re doing is getting DE-ported.

This post is about Peyton.

July 14, 2006 saw us here


Peyton looking petrified and me trying my best not to.  That was the bed that she laid in as they wheeled her away to surgery…”We’ll take good care of her, Mrs. Mayhew.”

Ummm, what do you say to that?

“You freaking better!!”

“Thank you.”

“I have your first AND last name and I can find out where you live.”

“Would you mind just going ahead and cutting off my hand and taking it with you so that she can hold onto it?  No, no, it’s ok, I don’t need it. I don’t care about your sterile field….just TAKE IT!”

I don’t remember what I said.  I remember her holding onto the tips of my fingers until the last moment they pulled her away…her eyes locked on mine.  I stayed there and waved and smiled until the door swung shut and everything in me crumbled and wanted to die.

We’d known she had cancer for less than twenty-four hours at that point and there she went…off to be cut open…off to put in a contraption with a purpose I didn’t understand…off to the next staggering change in our lives.

At that moment, leaning against the wall so I wouldn’t fall to the floor, feeling like my chest might burst wide with the screams that wanted to come out, I couldn’t comprehend that we’d ever come to a day like this.

We’ll be in that same room today.

She’ll probably be in a nearly identical bed.

She’ll hold my fingertips until we can no longer reach.

I’ll wave and smile as she’s taken away.

And although I’ll feel a little sick, knowing what’s about to happen to her, I’ll know that the next time I see her she’ll just be Peyton…whole, healthy, port-free and a cancer survivor.

It truly doesn’t feel real.

33 Comments on “Getting De-ported”

  1. #1 Musing
    on Jan 16th, 2009 at 7:50 am

    Celebrating the De-portation with you!

  2. #2 Lee
    on Jan 16th, 2009 at 9:10 am

    Celebrating your De-portation with you as well!

  3. #3 AJ
    on Jan 16th, 2009 at 9:51 am

    Congrats to you and your whole family! What a wonderful feeling that must be for you all!

  4. #4 Redneck Mommy
    on Jan 16th, 2009 at 10:23 am

    May her deportation go super smoothly and may your day in the hospital be as stress free as possible.

    Mah boobs and me are thinking good thoughts for all of you.

  5. #5 alayna
    on Jan 16th, 2009 at 10:28 am

    Nothing like tears first thing in the morning! Thanks a lot! Praying all goes well today with this victorious step!

  6. #6 Awesome Mom
    on Jan 16th, 2009 at 10:43 am

    Every time they take your child away from you for a surgery it is hard. I am nervous about Evan’s not remotely drastic and deadly as open heart surgery pacemaker replacement. It is going to be hard to see him go away.

    I hope that everything goes smoothly.

  7. #7 Natalie
    on Jan 16th, 2009 at 11:21 am

    OH what a FANTASTIC day!! We are praying for a smooth procedure!!

    With Love,
    From The Brocks that ROCK

  8. #8 Megan
    on Jan 16th, 2009 at 11:24 am

    Congrats!! I’ll say prayers for you guys today!

  9. #9 Faiqa
    on Jan 16th, 2009 at 11:33 am

    Lots of prayers that everything goes well today & congrats on becoming a citizen!! Wait. What?

  10. #10 Beth at I Should Be Folding Laundry
    on Jan 16th, 2009 at 11:36 am

    OMG, I just love you. I don’t know what else to say. You are amazing, your baby is amazing, your journey has been amazing.

    So inspiring.

  11. #11 Megan (mommyesquire)
    on Jan 16th, 2009 at 11:38 am

    What a wonderful day! An official end to a long journey. Congratulations doesn’t really seem appropriate but it’s the best that I can do.

  12. #12 Fear and Parenting in Las Vegas
    on Jan 16th, 2009 at 12:20 pm

    Dude – I’ve gotta stop reading you at work. Just when I think I’m safe, you’ve got me blubbering and my co-workers think I’m nuts. Well, i am nuts, i just try to hide it from them.

    Congrats to Miss Peyton!

  13. #13 Janet
    on Jan 16th, 2009 at 12:33 pm

    Feeling your emotions today; but thankful with you for the HOPE that today brings to Peyton and the rest of your family. You ahve all come so far and are taking those next steps into the future together; happy, healthy and whole…without any extra parts to care for! Hugs.

  14. #14 Sarah
    on Jan 16th, 2009 at 1:14 pm

    YAY! Sometimes it’s good to be deported.

    I’m glad she doing better, and life is getting back to normal.

    Are you wearing a tank top? It’s so cold here, I’m just in awe..

  15. #15 Ami Czorapinski
    on Jan 16th, 2009 at 1:34 pm

    Anissa~I remember that day. You know how you feel when your child is finished treatment. It’s an amazing feeling. But, I can honestly say the day Joshua’s port came out, it was such a different feeling. We were finally finished. It was like the end of chemo is the last page in the book but the “de-portation” is the complete closing of the book. I’m just so happy for all of you!

  16. #16 Heather
    on Jan 16th, 2009 at 1:40 pm

    I have a similar picture of me and Mr. K. just before they wheeled him off to surgery!!! Fake smile and all.
    Congrats….there’s no better feeling than being able to say…”I’m a mommy to a cancer survivor!”

  17. #17 Jenna
    on Jan 16th, 2009 at 1:49 pm

    I saw your update on Facebook that surgery was done and I just wanted to come over here and say Congrats to Peyton! She’s such a strong lil girl. Good Job Momma!

  18. #18 Adventures In Babywearing
    on Jan 16th, 2009 at 1:51 pm

    Anissa, I’m just covered in chills and so relieved for you. I hope you are breathing all sorts of happiness today!


  19. #19 Kyla
    on Jan 16th, 2009 at 3:04 pm

    Who knew being de-ported could be such a wonderful thing! 🙂

    It is a good day.

  20. #20 Dana
    on Jan 16th, 2009 at 3:44 pm

    I found your Twitter today completely by accident, wasn’t looking for anything ALL-related, just following a path through an interesting conversation and found you. Wow. What a day to do so. My son has ALL and I cannot wait until we are doing what you are doing today. Bless you and your family.


  21. #21 Heidi
    on Jan 16th, 2009 at 4:10 pm

    What a great thing to celebrate! Here’s to Peyton being “port-free”

  22. #22 Beverly
    on Jan 16th, 2009 at 4:44 pm


    Have a great day…after the soreness goes away!…and celebrate!

  23. #23 Ashley
    on Jan 16th, 2009 at 4:51 pm


  24. #24 Dawn
    on Jan 16th, 2009 at 6:49 pm

    BELIEVE! It may not feel real, but it truely, truely is real. Thank God. Such a wonderful day for you all.
    Maybe the site should be called Survivor Peyton now!!

  25. #25 Tammy and Parker
    on Jan 16th, 2009 at 8:40 pm

    I am so beyond thrilled for you guys!

    Reading your tweet today just made my heart sing!

  26. #26 Carrie
    on Jan 16th, 2009 at 9:59 pm

    Yay! I hope everything went wonderfully, and you have a new picture to go with the one you posted titled “Here We are at the End”.


  27. #27 Melissa
    on Jan 16th, 2009 at 10:25 pm

    That is awesome news!! Wonderful!

  28. #28 dug
    on Jan 16th, 2009 at 11:10 pm

    Peyton got deported.
    Did you keep it?

  29. #29 Janine (@twincident)
    on Jan 17th, 2009 at 12:50 am

    I missed the tweet today but caught up on news reading here. YEAH!!! And I’m very weepy lately but this good news had me in pieces….in a good way. Congrats! Prayers coming your way that all goes well.

  30. #30 followthatdog
    on Jan 17th, 2009 at 12:56 am

    this is the best post ever.

  31. #31 Holly at Tropic of Mom
    on Jan 17th, 2009 at 1:24 am

    Just speechless. Trying to hold back tears….

  32. #32 Watty
    on Jan 17th, 2009 at 2:30 am

    Prayers that all goes smoothly! Just saw your postings on twitter via Chrisblake, but already wanna squish you and your whole adorable family!!!

  33. #33 colleen sheedlo
    on Jan 17th, 2009 at 12:11 pm

    We, Colleen,Monte,Scott, and Stef are so happy for you all….Our hearts go out to you….Give everybody a big squeeze…..You are all so precious…..God is good…..Me with all the words in the world could never find the right ones all through the journey but we were there with you and with lots of prayers…..The paintings Peyton has done are simply amazing….It is like it is through God’s hands…Love to all of you….and to Grandma.