Hope4Peyton header image

The new crack

There are words that, when strung together, just make your heart sink.

“Ummm, the principal needs to speak to you.”

“I missed.” Regarding anything having to do with the bathroom.

“I didn’t do it!” Regarding everything else.

I have a new one!

“Guess what I found in the couch?”

At this moment, there is no thought that there couldn’t possibly be something stuck under the cushions of my couch.  In fact, it is the second place I look for ANY misplaced item…missing socks, tax returns, a Cornish game hen…anything…ANYthing!

Surprised? Me? No. These are my children we are talking about.   The treasure trove that is my couch should ferry forth no new shocks for me.

Yet it did.

Peter’s next words left me slightly befuddled and trying to make the connection between the two sentences.

“There must be over 100 Splenda packets in the couch.”


Splenda packets?


In the couch.


She copped to eating them.

Can I get a BLEHHHCH from anyone?

Poor thing wanted something sweet to munch on and chose Splenda packets.

People, I swear we have food in the house.  Lots of it. Yummy, real food. That isn’t granulated.

I guess the only bright side of it was that she ate them and wasn’t snorting them.

So she says.

23 Comments on “The new crack”

  1. #1 chris
    on Sep 30th, 2008 at 7:24 am

    That can’t be good for her. I think I’d have her drink lots of water to flush that out of her system. Although, my 10-year old happens to have Type I diabetes, and they tell us Splenda is the “best” artificial sweetner…

    We have things we can’t identify in our couch. It’s possible penicillin’s growing under the cushions…

    Great story!

    chriss last blog post..Oh yeah? Well my Daddy is Secratariet.

  2. #2 Double Agent Girl
    on Sep 30th, 2008 at 7:28 am

    LOL!!! Children befuddle me too. Ok, so Rachael eats splenda right out of the packet. Is that any different from my Taylor, caught scooping margarine into her mouth with her fingers???

    We, also, have plenty of food in the house. What are we doing wrong?!?

    Double Agent Girls last blog post..Hold My Beer

  3. #3 Melisa
    on Sep 30th, 2008 at 8:38 am


    What happened to just getting the entire container of REGULAR sugar out of the cabinet, wetting your finger, and sticking it in there*?

    *at least she’s an enlightened little lady and knew to pick a sugar substitute! 🙂

    Melisas last blog post..Happy New Year!

  4. #4 Gwendolyn
    on Sep 30th, 2008 at 8:41 am

    I keep finding dry cereal under my sofa cushions…and no one is allowed to eat in the living room. So far, every child swears that they are not to blame. Apparently, our guardian angels really like fruit loops. :o)

    Gwendolyns last blog post..

  5. #5 Elinor
    on Sep 30th, 2008 at 9:04 am

    Anissa, I so enjoy coming to your page and reading about your day-to-day life, sometimes hysterically funny and sometimes heartwrenching. You deal with the lows and highs in yours and your family’s life with (for lack of a better word) “class”. Some blogs would make one think that life is “just a bowl of cherries” and are just unrealistic.

  6. #6 Brittany
    on Sep 30th, 2008 at 9:14 am

    Oh yuck. I mean, it could be worse….but I just have a general distaste for Splenda, hubby loves it though…maybe I should check our couch cushions.

    Brittanys last blog post..In no particular order…

  7. #7 Natalie
    on Sep 30th, 2008 at 9:32 am

    She and Mandy are so easy to feed….a pound of butter and a case of Splenda and viola, dinner’s done! Why do we ever worry about what we make for dinner? When we serve McDonald’s, it is still healthier than what they would eat when left to their own devices!

    Natalies last blog post..Mandy’s best friend

  8. #8 Ashley @ mrs007.net
    on Sep 30th, 2008 at 9:56 am

    I am laughing with you NOT at you. Last weekend my husband saw something shiny under the couch cushion I was sitting on. We investigated and found 10 granola bar wrappers. I mean seriously do they think we won’t find them!!!? I might just have to blog about this.

  9. #9 Sarah Clapp
    on Sep 30th, 2008 at 10:03 am

    It’s the new healthy Pixey-sticks! And at least she’s not downing “Sweet n’ Low” Then I’d be grossed out.

    Sarah Clapps last blog post..A Night In The North End

  10. #10 Heather
    on Sep 30th, 2008 at 11:51 am

    It’s amazing the things kids “try” to hide from us. My daughter didn’t want to eat dinner last night and when I cleaned her room today I found out why. She had eaten six bags of “lunch size” doritos for an after school snack.

    Heathers last blog post..changed forever

  11. #11 Tracy P
    on Sep 30th, 2008 at 12:25 pm

    Yes the couch cushions hold the secrets in our house too-wrappers, crayons, socks, combs and on most occassions the remote-which when we want to change channels everyone has to stand up for our version of the 7th inning stretch-so that the remote can be located. Pisses me off every time. I must say I have never found splenda packets-yuck!
    Thanks for the laugh-again!

    Tracy Ps last blog post..My Photo Mosaic-Want to try?

  12. #12 Debbie
    on Sep 30th, 2008 at 2:11 pm

    Oh my goodness! My daughter would probably die if she knew I was telling you this, because she’s almost 12 now. But when she was 6 we were living overseas and had gotten a care package from some friends in Canada. Well, the next day, guess what I found? A completely empty bottle of Canadian maple syrup – thankfully it was only like 6 oz, but still…eww! She was bouncing around all day after that.

    I think ALL kids have to do things like that at some point. I was a butter-eater. Ha!

  13. #13 always home and uncool
    on Sep 30th, 2008 at 3:40 pm

    But is this better than eating paste?

    always home and uncools last blog post..Back to your old tricks

  14. #14 Jen W
    on Sep 30th, 2008 at 3:56 pm

    Oh, major BLEHHHCH!!! But it’s probably better than some of the stuff I’d find under my couch cushions but I’m afraid to look.

    Jen Ws last blog post..Green Acres is the place for me.

  15. #15 Ashley
    on Sep 30th, 2008 at 3:56 pm

    Splenda…the new crack. Has a funny ring to it, although Splenda might not appreciate it as much. I recently found about 20 fruit-by-the-foot wrappers under MY OWN bed, and I DIDN’T put them there!!!!! Little sneaks!

    Ashleys last blog post..Cookie Got Spit-Faced

  16. #16 Jennifer
    on Sep 30th, 2008 at 10:57 pm

    Anissa, you disappoint me. YOU…the KODAK MAMA…where on earth are the PICTURES???

    Jennifers last blog post..Move Over Goldie Hawn…

  17. #17 corrine
    on Oct 1st, 2008 at 9:49 am

    that is funny, my kids love to grab those packets when we are at restaurants and want to eat them…maybe its kind of the same thing as eating fun dip…not sure why that is so fun but it sure was…and then licking nasty unsweetened koolaid from the packets realizing it isn’t very good with out two cups of sugar…ok maybe i can relate to your daughter….

    corrines last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: Redneck Fire Alarm

  18. #18 jen
    on Oct 1st, 2008 at 10:24 am

    that is why i don’t look under the couch. it’s scary. but informative.
    love the new look by the way!

    jens last blog post..words…beautiful words

  19. #19 Marisa
    on Oct 1st, 2008 at 10:50 am

    I can relate… When my friends and I were younger, we would eat straight sugar packets. I guess its just a kid thing.

  20. #20 Barbara
    on Oct 1st, 2008 at 10:51 am

    Bleccch to the max. But I won’t even look under my couch cushions. I attempted to once and my oldest said STOP MOM!!!!!!! If you do that the whole ecosystem will be throw off balance. And since I use any excuse I can find not to do housework I didn’t, well, that and the fact that he was probably right!

  21. #21 Lianne
    on Oct 1st, 2008 at 12:20 pm

    Still laughing about the Cornish game hens….

    Splenda is poison… I am cringing.

  22. #22 Normal to Natalie
    on Oct 1st, 2008 at 11:54 pm

    oh that is funny! when i saw the title i thought maybe a pacifier was found… you know, that is what i think of when i hear “crack”. too funny. guess you will have to take the locks off of the fridge and cabinet so that they can get to this yummy food you speak of! 🙂

    oh and ewwwwwwwwwww….

    Normal to Natalies last blog post..Tell All Tuesday – Week 25

  23. #23 Brianna
    on Oct 2nd, 2008 at 6:28 pm

    That’s hilarious! My mom used to find “tunnels” in the butter – turns out it was me. I was taking scoops out of the butter stick and eating it straight. The thought of it today makes me want to gag, but when I was 4 it was tasty (it MUST have been, right?!).

    Briannas last blog post..Gal to Gal Virtual Walk