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I was sort of hoping for a doctor or an engineer

Scene: In the van, on the way home from school, feeling mighty happy about the quality of education my kids are getting.

Nathaniel: Mom?

Me: Yeah  < — do you hear that quality mom dialogue?  Oh yeah. Listen and learn, my friends.

Nathaniel: What is a serial killer?

Me:  Huh?  What the heck are they teaching you at that private Christian school?

Nathaniel: What’s a serial killer?

Me:  Um…well….would you believe its someone who gets really angry at breakfast foods and decides to murder a plate of pancakes?

Nathaniel: Mom.  Really.

Me: Ok. A serial killer is someone who is not right in the head and they go on killing sprees of killing a certain type of person or killing in a certain way. Something is just very very VERY wrong with these people.  Is there a reason you’re asking this right now?

Nathaniel: No, just wondering.

Ok, now this is the point where my head is sort of exploding. Oh Holy Moly!  Did Ted Bundy have this talk with his mom?  Did Mama Gacy ever have the “what do you want to be when you grow up” conversation with little John Wayne (which, if you name your kid that, expect problems from the get go…I’m talking to you there, people who name your kids Apple, Zuma and Pilot Inspektor) and get the feeling that Johnny wasn’t going to be a dentist or a plumber?

Why is he asking me this?

But I’m totally taken off that mental path when Rachael pats my arm.  She looks up at me with these big eyes full of worry.

Rachael: Mom, am I wrong in the head?

Me:  I’m going to say no on that one.  Do you THINK you’re wrong in the head?

Rachael:  I really don’t like a lot of breakfast. Will that make me a cereal killer?

* sigh *

Mommy’s future as a career planner?  FAIL.

14 Comments on “I was sort of hoping for a doctor or an engineer”

  1. #1 Maria
    on Aug 29th, 2008 at 10:54 am

    Maybe he wants to be a super detective?

    Man I’m glad the chipmunk isn’t asking Serious Questions yet.

    Marias last blog post..no kisses at school, only hugs

  2. #2 Celia, Darling
    on Aug 29th, 2008 at 10:56 am

    Laughing. Really, really laughing.

    If you are having convos like this when they are this age, well… I’m fast-forwarding a bit to when they are teenagers.

    You are hilarious, and a FANTASTIC mom. And that, is a winning combination.

    Celia, Darlings last blog post..Obsession Update

  3. #3 Laura
    on Aug 29th, 2008 at 12:55 pm

    I have always laughed at your comments on other blogs, and FINALLY…checked out yours. AND dare I say, I am hooked. Oh shit, ANOTHER blog to add to my list! Now my husband and I are sure to never ever have sex again!

    this blog stuff is way more addicting than alcohol….

    great post. so so funny.

    Lauras last blog post..Wash it off

  4. #4 Amanda
    on Aug 29th, 2008 at 7:55 pm

    Anissa –

    I’ll kindly let you in on a conversation held in my car this afternoon.

    “Hey, momma … did you see my new friend?”
    “Which new friend babe?”
    “My new friend, the girl in the pink bathing suit. I TOLD you I could wear my bathing suit out.”

    LOL …

    See … I’m usually ok with her wearing whatever she wants, but I have a pretty strict rule of “coverups on” whenever we wear a bathing suit. And now that she saw Peyton in a leotard, she thinks that bathing suits are ok wear. Don’t worry, I already hid all bathing suits out of her reach to stay off any erruptions from Mt. Juliette.

    It was great seeing you guys!

  5. #5 threeundertwo
    on Aug 29th, 2008 at 9:33 pm

    Now I’ve seen everything. A blog that is ruining someone’s sex life.

    You should be ashamed!


    threeundertwos last blog post..First week of school: we all lived to tell about it.

  6. #6 Holly at Tropic of Mom
    on Aug 29th, 2008 at 10:34 pm

    This really made me crack up!

    Holly at Tropic of Moms last blog post..Wonka Truck

  7. #7 Marie
    on Aug 29th, 2008 at 10:50 pm

    The Mayhews NEED a reality show!!! That kind of banter is the sort of thing you used to only hear on sitcoms. But you guys do it in real life!!!!!

  8. #8 alayna
    on Aug 29th, 2008 at 11:24 pm

    Laughing out loud on that one. Planting the idea in your kid’s head that she is a serial killer – that’s a good one – I’ll dust off my Parent of the Year trophy and get ready to send it your way.

  9. #9 All Adither
    on Aug 30th, 2008 at 1:03 am

    Aww, don’t you love how innocent they are?

    All Adithers last blog post..Anything is possible in Vancouver

  10. #10 Amy Nasworthy
    on Aug 30th, 2008 at 11:36 am

    I just love you Mayhews, you crack me up!! We have a “inside joke” around our house that might cause people to think that we aren’t right. We say that we are saving for Savannah’s college, Austin’s trade school and Luke’s bail!!
    When Savannah’s is out shoping with me and she tries to touch stuff I ask he what will happen if she breaks it, and she replies “You break it you buy it!!” It’s really funny because she will tell other people around her.

    Amy Nasworthys last blog post..Our Home Team!!!

  11. #11 Jennifer
    on Aug 31st, 2008 at 12:01 am

    Got your comment on my blog. Does the fact that you want to eat my children’s picture up for breakfast make you a serial killer? Hmmmm…

    Sorry I haven’t gotten back to you about the header. CrAzY week! I’ll email you the card soon and whenever you have time you can mess around with it and see what you come up with. If you’re too busy, don’t sweat it!

    Jennifers last blog post..Favorite Foto Friday; Black & White…

  12. #12 Evon Mease
    on Aug 31st, 2008 at 8:48 pm

    My son use to have a shirt that said “I am a CEREAL KILLER”. I wonder if he still has it…I would send it to you 🙂 Haha…love those kids!

  13. #13 Sarah Clapp
    on Sep 3rd, 2008 at 2:39 pm


    There’s never a dull moment in your house, is there?

    Sarah Clapps last blog post..Charlie’s First Day at Cutler!

  14. #14 AllMediocre - The Web’s Best Blogs, You Just Don’t Know It…Yet! » Blog Archive » Shout Outs & Announcements
    on Sep 8th, 2008 at 8:45 am

    […] has had some interesting conversations with her kids this […]