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A haiku: Bad way to wake up

Cancer camp Friday
We are full of excitement

Tall buildings, new paint
Wraparound decks greet the eye
White rockers beckon

A crystalline lake
Alligators are sleepy
The children are not

First day has flown by
Beds welcome tired campers
A toilet is clogged

My child wakens first
She attacks the day, I snooze
I become alert

What is that smell, Pete?
No answer comes, yet I know

Windows thrown open
Door propped to allow more air
Toilet is still clogged

Rachael’s flush causes
A beast of funk to arise
It tries to kill us

There is no plunger
No solution to be found
I must improvise

Three trash bags, my glove
My plastic armor protects
It makes my skin crawl

Masked by a wash cloth
Deep breath before my arm sinks
My brain screams “NO! NO!”

The offending clog
In my palm; I die inside
The toilet flushes

Inside out I flip
The bags that hold the load
It does not touch me

Tie the bags tightly
Pete is out on patio
Bag is thrown at him

Make it go away
I go to scrub my arm off
I’m Lady Macbeth

The deed is all done
I can actually breathe
Shitty start to day

21 Comments on “A haiku: Bad way to wake up”

  1. #1 Melisa
    on Oct 7th, 2008 at 8:43 am

    “I’m Lady Macbeth”


    And your haiku? What a load of crap. Ha ha! (joke!) At least you can rest assured that your crappy experience will be entertaining to others…

    Melisas last blog post..Rollin’ Down The Tollway

  2. #2 Brittany
    on Oct 7th, 2008 at 8:55 am

    HAHAHAHAHAHA! You are so brave, I could never never do that!

    Brittanys last blog post..Woozy.

  3. #3 Awesome Mom
    on Oct 7th, 2008 at 9:19 am

    Yick! That is the sort of thing that is left for my husband to take care of after all he is the one that generally plugs the toilet.

    Awesome Moms last blog post..Knocked up

  4. #4 Double Agent Girl
    on Oct 7th, 2008 at 9:25 am

    Ack!! And EW EW EW!
    You are superwoman.

    Double Agent Girls last blog post..Photography Thursday

  5. #5 threeundertwo
    on Oct 7th, 2008 at 10:59 am

    Disgusting yet hilarious.

    Better you than me. I would have left town at that point.

    threeundertwos last blog post..Hold Everything

  6. #6 Natalie
    on Oct 7th, 2008 at 10:59 am

    That shit is messed up! Still can’t believe you did that! Makes me gag again just thinking about it!

    Natalies last blog post..Our marriage is now legal to vote

  7. #7 Debbie
    on Oct 7th, 2008 at 11:52 am

    Oh no…ewwwww! HA!

    Hey, isn’t hat how we KNOW we are mommies? When you give birth you are somehow, suddenly gifted at things you never thought you ‘d be able to do – stick your hand in a toilet, clean up puke, dig things out of little jean pockets when you aren’t really sure what might be in there etc. Ha!

    Still, I feel for you , I really do. I really would turn into Lady Macbeth – I’d be scrubbing that arm off!!!!

  8. #8 Heather
    on Oct 7th, 2008 at 11:57 am

    Been there…done that!
    And don’t think that was the last time either! Because there will be more….oh yes, there will be more. (can you hear my evil laugh?) 🙂

    Heathers last blog post..The inevitable

  9. #9 Karalyn
    on Oct 7th, 2008 at 11:58 am

    That is real nasty
    Poop clogged toilets are no fun
    Better you than me

  10. #10 Beverly
    on Oct 7th, 2008 at 2:43 pm

    Oh my goodness! You are such a talented poet! HA!

    Beverlys last blog post..Out of the Mouths of Babes

  11. #11 Rick @ Tiny Prints
    on Oct 7th, 2008 at 2:57 pm

    I had to unclog a toilet this morning as well, never occurred to me to write a poem about it. Ya know, the fact that there was a plunger nearby probably made it a tad less horrific. Okay, more than just a tad:)

    What was horrific was a particular blow-out diaper. My son had on a crew neck onesie, how to get over his head? Too young to stand in the tub on his own, holding him up with one hand, pouring cups of water with the other, drain clogging…don’t sit down buddy! Gotta finish before the pizza delivery arrives. Mom, where are you, a little help ova ere!

    Will never forget…

  12. #12 chris
    on Oct 7th, 2008 at 3:56 pm

    YOU are a stud!

    chriss last blog post..Blog Awards Confession

  13. #13 the sits girls
    on Oct 7th, 2008 at 7:57 pm

    That beast of funk is quite a way to start the day! Whew!

    the sits girlss last blog post..Featured Blogger: American In Norway

  14. #14 Jen W
    on Oct 7th, 2008 at 8:29 pm

    That is hilarious! I probably would have been gagging the whole time.

    Jen Ws last blog post..Three more things I do that my daughter finds embarrassing

  15. #15 Heather
    on Oct 7th, 2008 at 10:44 pm

    Okay, I’m still gagging after reading that poem. 🙂

    I loved your post below!! I’m with Rachel – I could always add another orphan to our family. 🙂 I can only imagine that you blessed your parents just as Allie has blessed us.

    Heathers last blog post..One Beautiful Blessing

  16. #16 alayna
    on Oct 7th, 2008 at 11:41 pm

    GAG!!! You’re much braver (or more desperate) than I am! You go girl! Gag again, just thinking about i! At least you can laugh about it!

  17. #17 M
    on Oct 7th, 2008 at 11:53 pm


    Ms last blog post..Information that could be useful….

  18. #18 Sammanthia
    on Oct 8th, 2008 at 2:17 am

    EWWW! Having three boys, it’s happened to us a time or two, and I’ve actually considered buying one of those biohazard suits you see on “House”. I wonder if you can find those on Ebay?

    Sammanthias last blog post..Six Highly Uninteresting Things About Myself… Read It And Sleep

  19. #19 PAPA
    on Oct 8th, 2008 at 3:31 pm

    Which is worse? A full plug or a floater? Hard to say. Have you ever had the unflushable floater? Isn’t it weird?
    Love the Haiku action.

    PAPAs last blog post..Sing, Sing

  20. #20 Sarah Clapp
    on Oct 8th, 2008 at 6:34 pm

    LMAO! That’s McNasty!!!

    Sarah Clapps last blog post..Losing The Battle Of Wits

  21. #21 Kristine
    on Oct 10th, 2008 at 8:53 am

    You truly are superwoman!