Hope4Peyton

I took Peyton on Tuesday to a playgroup at the Children’s Cancer Center. There were about 10-12 moms there with their kids, and the center had volunteers there to keep the kids busy with crafts and games so the moms could hole up in a room and talk with other grown ups. It was both a great experience and a terribly depressing one. I so enjoyed having moms to talk to who connect with what I’m going through and feeling, and we didn’t talk about cancer the whole time, which was sort of a relief. However, some of the parents I met have children who have grim looking futures. I met one mom who’s daughter has a 1% chance of survival of a year…and she’s already made it 8 months. I know that it’s in God’s hands, that it’s His decision and will for these children, but it’s so hard to accept. I realized on the drive home yesterday that a part of me didn’t want to get to know these other families, I didn’t want to get to know their children. I didn’t want to have a personal connection to them because if they die then it’s going to crush me. I feel bad because I have the comfort of knowing that even though cancer is an uncertain thing, I do have the statistics on my side. I can look at an 80% survival rate and feel positive about the outcome of her treatment. I know that some of these families don’t have that comfort, they don’t have the favorable numbers on their side, and they’re fighting a losing battle. It breaks my heart. Every day. For every family, and just the thought of it wrings me dry emotionally.

Feeling a little wretched, I get a call from my friend Maryellen this morning. We laughed and just chatted and it was good. Then she tells me that the landscaping business she and her husband own has a particular client that they’ve told about Peyton. This client is the regional vp of the Cracker Barrels in the area! She printed off the postings from this website about our visits, our interaction with the staff and how much CB has meant to Peyton during her treatment. He gave Maryellen coupons for free meals! That’s awesome. Especially awesome because in about 50 days she has to start another round of steroids, those will come in handy, but also awesome because I needed that positive pick me up. I just needed that feel good happy moment. Maryellen won’t know how much her phone call helped me this morning until she reads this post.

As I was walking out the door to get the kids from school, I looked through the mail and saw an envelope from a person I didn’t recognize. I opened it and started to cry immediately. It was full of gift cards, for gas, movies, meals, wal-mart. There was a letter, from Zackary’s Stocking. It is a family here in Brandon who lost their son Zachary to a brain tumor last year, they have started up this gifting project to help other families going through the pediatric cancer struggle. The letter touched my heart, but the message behind it just humbled me in so many ways. This is a family who has lost so greatly and has turned that loss into a way to spread love and support and encouragement to others. They sent along a small verse booklet, and I was so moved to see that no matter how deep the grief, the Lord was able to use it in a powerfully positive way. Sherry Zachary let me know in a brief side note that she’d been to Peyton’s website and I just hope she reads this and knows that on a day I needed it, she brought a little boost of love into my life.

I took my envelope of love and stopped by to see my friend Lisa Greenaker as she finished up her day of teaching. I promptly sat on the floor and started bawling, overwhelmed by everything, the good and the bad. She took one look at me and asked me if I was on my period, and offered me Midol. I love her because she makes me laugh when I most need it. She talks me off my mental ledges and brings me back to the good. Her family has been going through their own crisis with her husband’s spinal surgery and subsequent recovery, and yet she makes the time to let me boo hoo on her shoulder. These are friends. These are God’s angels on my shoulder.

I guess I’d like to say that this means I won’t have more days of emotional fallout. But I know that’s not true. I just know that when I do, my angels are there to help pick me up, dust me off and prepare to face the next day.

I think this says it all.
John 14:18 I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.

f.r.o.G….fully relying on God
—-Anissa

Are you ever amazed by the baffling complexity of medicine? It seems like it constantly contradicts itself…and gets away with it!

Peyton’s clinic visit was fairly routine. She refused EMLA cream on her port, so there was no numbing of the port area. I explained that without it the procedure would hurt, but she was determined and I agreed. Figuring that once would be enough for her to believe me that when I say something is going to hurt, I generally mean it. She did feel the pain when the needle went in and she looked at me like “Holy cow, that hurt!” We agreed that from now on we’d put the magic cream on her port.

The spots that she developed last week haven’t done anything exciting all week. They didn’t grow, change or multiply, so we considered them pretty boring. Dr. Ayala did say that it was possible that due to her suppressed immune system, it could be a simple case of herpes. HERPES! Instead of growing as cold sores or blisters in the mouth area, with her immune system it could just be herpes coming out in different forms. We agreed that since they didn’t appear to be doing anything we’d just watch and be aware of them. If they come back, change or grow, I’ll take Peyton to a dermatologist for further opinion.

The big zinger of the day was the red ring on top of her head. It had been there last week, but no one thought much of it. However, today they noticed that it was still there and it was diagnosed as a ringworm. Glory! A ringworm is fairly easy to treat with over the counter medication. I go to the in house pharmacy to see if they carry the Lamosil, which is an athlete’s foot treatment since this is a fungus. Kevin, the pharmacist, goes over the meds and I’m waiting to check out and I happen to read the back of the box. Hmmm, interesting.

“Kevin, do you know that the ringworm is on her head?”
“Ok.”
“Are you sure this is what we should treat her with?”
“Yes, or there’s a cheaper generic form.”
“No, I’m just looking at the warning that says ‘do not apply to scalp’.”
“Don’t worry about that.”
“Are you sure? Because last time I checked her scalp was ON her head.”

It’s nice to know that the pharmaceutical companies just like to freak us out for no good reason.

Other than that, her counts are staying steady, her ANC is still low at 300. We go in Thursday for a fingerstick to make sure she’s good before the weekend. This is the end of Delayed Intensification and we start Interim Maintenance as soon as she makes a count of 75000 platelets and 750 ANC. So, it’ll be a waiting game on that one. Probably sometime next week we’ll start IM. It’s a much easier phase, 41 days long and pretty uneventful except for spinals and leg shots. The medicines they give her don’t drag her down as badly as this last round, she handles the side effects much better.

To backtrack, on Friday night the kids went to Parent’s Night Out at the Children’s Cancer Center. It was great because with her counts being low, Peyton can’t do much these days and she was able to go and have a fantastic time. Nathaniel and Rachael enjoyed themselves as well, there were lots of high school students there to keep them occupied with games, crafts and food. Peter and I went to the International Mall and drooled over computers at the Apple store, laughed at the stores that sell $200 shoes for toddlers and ate at a nice little deli at Bayshore. We were going to shoot for dinner at the Cheesecake Factory, but when we walked in they told us to come back in an hour for a pager….I refuse to wait in line to wait in line….ok, seriously. It was a great little evening and we enjoyed our time alone.

Saturday, Nathaniel went to Busch Gardens with his Big Buddy Charlie. It was a magnificent success, he was able to go on all the roller coasters and came home on an adrenaline high.

These are pictures of Nathaniel and Rachael when they went on their zoo trip with their big buddy mentors Charlie and Marie. I love thinking that these are out future doctors, they're going to be great!

Rachael went with her Grandma Sharon to a museum and they went shopping at craft stores after, always a fun time for them. Peyton mellowed with Dad and Mom, but I felt lousy all day so mostly with Dad.

Sunday I still felt like crud, so Pete took the kids to lunch at Grandma’s and then Peyton stayed over at Grandma’s for the whole night. She was seriously jazzed about that, it’s pretty much her only way of getting out of our house and she’s always pampered at Grandma’s. Pete took the older two kids to the Stars on Ice show at the St. Pete Times Forum, they got to see amazing ice skating, but Sasha Cohen was the only person Pete was able to recognize.

We are so blessed to be given these chances to do these fun events, things we wouldn’t be able to do one our own. Thank you to the Children’s Cancer Center.

We’ve had no new team members sign up for Team Peyton and we’re still looking for at least 5 more, but my truest hope is to get 20 more. We are ranked #4 as a team, that's awesome!! The more people we can get involved, the more money we can raise for an amazing group. I hope that if any of you have the time in April, the 13-14th, to come out and be involved, please come! Sign up, collect donations and be a part of making all the research and cancer support possible through the American Cancer Society. Please send the word that we’re looking for support for our team to everyone you know, it’s a great reason to spam the heck out of everyone you know! We're going to plan some fundraising events for Team Peyton, and if anyone wants to help or has good ideas, please email me!

f.ro.G….fully relying on God
—-Anissa

There are some things in life that are just universally pleasurable. To be included, but not limited to, in the aforementioned group are freshly washed sheets, when you switch radio station just as a favorite song starts, hot showers on cold days and BUBBLE WRAP. I truly have yet to meet an child or adult that doesn’t get some sort of amusement out of popping a piece of bubble wrap. In case you’re completely ignorant of the one of the cheapest forms of useless fun then you have all my sympathy. Whenever a box shows up in our house and it includes shipping wrap, my kids go nuts, I get a little giddy, its a good day.

Peyton slept in this morning, cuddled on the bed in her footie, zipped-up jammies (the kind I’m always a little jealous of when it gets chilly), and I left her there while I got Nathaniel and Rachael off to school. When I got home, she was sitting in the living room, eating a powdered donut, watching Dora the Explorer with a big piece of bubble wrap in her lap. Can I just say, this is a three year old utopia! She popped it with her fingers, she popped it by jumping up and down on it, she even popped it with a tricycle…..staring intently, but grinning like a fool with each pop. She shared a few bubbles with me, but quickly snatched it away before I got too carried away.

We have a big weekend planned. Tonight, the Children’s Cancer Society is doing Parent’s Night Out. They Armwood High Honor Students volunteering to babysit and occupy the kids for a few hours so parents can go out and have dinner or see a movie or get a quick motel to sneak a nap! The possibilities are endless. Peter and I were planning to go and meet with Adelaine’s parents after they dropped off their kids. Unfortunately, Adelaine went into the hospital yesterday with a fever and a painful ear. As with us, it’ll be minimum of 72 hours admitted. I’m disappointed that we can’t do something with them, but so concerned for Adelaine. Hopefully it will be a simple ear infection that they can treat with antibiotics. Please add her to your prayers for a full and easy recovery from whatever is happening in her little body.

So, Peter and I will take advantage of the free babysitting and try to figure out what to do with ourselves, childfree for 4 hours. We’ve been known to get pretty wild and crazy on these rare occasions. Trips to Wal-mart, a jaunt through Khols, usually a meal, but sometimes we get a real wacky idea and just head home to get things done that are hard to do with kids actively negating all your work. But tonight!! Tonight we must head into Tampa to get our babysitting, therefore we cannot go home and clean….we don’t know where anything is….we may spend the majority of the time arguing about whether to stop and ask for directions. I have no idea, but as most parents know, the big thing is to just have a few precious moments where you and your spouse can talk uninterrupted, can reconnect and stock up on togetherness that will have to get you through til the next time you have no kids. And if you have to do it at Wal-mart, who’s to say that’s not quality time?

Back to our busy weekend, Nathaniel is meeting his Big Buddy Mentor Charlie for a trip to Busch Gardens. They’ve been pretty excited about this trip and Nathaniel’s practically quivering with glee at the thought that he’s tall enough to get on the Sheikra. All the kids love roller coasters, but he’s my hardiest thrill seeker. That same day, Rachael is going with her Grandma Sharon to an art museum. I’ll be interested to see how long that lasts, I know it would make me nervous to take someone as bounce-alicious as Rachael to a sculpture exhibit, but Grandma’s got it together pretty good. Rachael will love the special “me” time and Grandma will get to spoil her rotten. Poor Peyton is stuck with the fuddy-duddy old parents, her ANC is down in the 200-300 range, well below the 500 minimum for partying. In fact, the only reason we’re taking her to the Parent’s Night Out is because it’s other cancer families who would never dream of bringing a sick child along. It’s a nice little safe haven. Pete and I will try to think of something fun to do with her, maybe a park outing is in our future.

The CCC provided us with 3 tickets for Sunday’s performance of Stars on Ice at the St. Pete Times Forum. I’m pretty jazzed about that, Rachael and Nathaniel are moderately excited and again, poor Peyton can’t go.

This morning I was feeling down. Adelaine’s mom, Angela was on my mind. She’s been having a lot of conflict with the clinic that they go to in St. Pete, she’s having problems in every way you can imagine and she’s frustrated and worried about Adelaine’s care. I’m so worried about this situation because you have to have a good relationship, or at least good communication, with your oncology team of nurses and doctors if you’re going to have faith and confidence in the decisions made for your little one. I’m just praying that the conflicts are resolved so that Angela can concentrate on the one thing that matters, keeping Adelaine well.

I am so thankful for the group of people who take care of Peyton at our clinic: our nurses Cindy, Teri, Louise, Maria and Nancy; our doctors, Dr Kerr and Dr Ayala; our social worker Kathy; our child life specialist Kyleen; all the other staff, Diana, Marcy and Shawn; and the volunteers who dedicate time to making clinic visits more fun and less frightening. These people are amazing, they give so much of themselves and have made our clinic experience better than I’d ever thought they could be. They bring the fun into a completely non-fun time, they bring smiles and laughs to Peyton’s face every time (well, maybe not every time, but we don’t count the steroid phases).

Kyle Chubb is also very heavy on my heart. His relapse has just stirred up a lot of fear. It goes back to the fact that remission is not a permanent thing, cancer has no definites and that’s frustrating and scary. It’s just so….ARG!….horrible to drag your child through chemotherapy day in and day out, to go through the whole experience and then to know it’s failed. How can this not work? We did everything we were told. We followed all the rules, took all the medicine, we did all we could…..and yet it can fail. I don’t know the exact plan of treatment for Kyle, but from the discussions I’ve had with the docs and nurses about relapse treatment, it’s so much harder than the original treatment. This just feels like a tightrope walk between killing the cancer and killing the child….I know that it’s a better chance than he would have had in years past, but it’s just not good enough.

I fear for Peyton, that she’ll get through this treatment, only to relapse, develop a different cancer, grow brain tumors, have liver, heart, kidney problems down the road, learning difficulties, or even the seemingly shallow fact that her hair might not come back in the way it used to be after her radiation. I’m afraid that we’ll never get a normal life back, that Nathaniel and Rachael will always have to be the understanding siblings, that Peter and I will grow apart from the stress and strain of it all. Sometimes the fears are less and sometimes they eat at me until I can’t sleep (I wish I could say I can’t eat, but apparently that coping method is completely beyond me).

But my fears are soothed by the good that comes from all this. I see huge compassionate hearts in Nathaniel and Rachael, they have a special ability to cope with the rapid changes that happen, they keep it real for us. Peter and I do find time together, we find ways to connect and we have to make the most of it, treasure that time we might have taken for granted. I am reminded constantly that I have the most amazing family and friends, who are there to comfort, laugh, keep my spirits up, pray for me, pray with me, encourage me and inspire me. And most importantly, I have the Lord’s comfort in my heart, and that’s especially important to me, because I’m not one that’s always accepted that in my life. I’ve turned away from God time and again and refused to believe that He has any say so in my life. When bad things happened, it was to be dealt with my way, and if something good happened, why should HE get all the credit? My most constant lesson throughout these past few years, and I’m sure until I die, is that bad or good, He is the reason for all that happens in my life. It’s my privilege to rely on him through it all and know that His will is being done, whether it’s what I would have chosen or not. It’s my responsibility to shine that message to everyone else.

This posting has become a small novel. Frankly, if you read it all I one sitting, I hope your butt isn’t killing you! It’s been said to me that Peyton’s site makes a lot of people laugh when they’re not sure they should be. Please laugh with us! You can cry with us too, but please, always laugh with us. It’s funny, my kids are a riot, our life is pretty laugh-worthy some days…..so feel free to chuckle at the things that we write about, to share them with others, to remember that laughter is an extraordinary gift that God gave us. Let’s enjoy it!!

f.r.o.G.t.g.r.o.m.t.c…..fully relying on God (to get rid of my typing cramps)
—-Anissa

Happy Valentine’s Day! I hope each and every person who reads this today is just wrapped up in love and joy today. I actually wish that for every day, but I don’t want to sound too much like a Hallmark card, so I’ll just ooze gushy lovey stuff today. These are my valentines.

The family resemblance between Pete and Peyton has always been strong.

No words are needed.

It doesn’t get any better than this.

This was taken by my friend Lisa Greenaker, simple but I love it.

“101 ways to wrap Dad around your fingers” written by Rachael Mayhew

My valentine asked me this evening…”Did you get me anything?” I replied “I’m not telling, because I don’t want you to get me something just because I may or may not have gotten you something.” He says “I’m just not buying into the idea that I have to buy cards and stuff to show you I love you” (not verbatim, but to that effect). Do you hear that? It’s the sound of a man trying to get out of that last minute trip to Walgreens for a card!! I love Pete for making me laugh every day.

After a day like Monday it’s rather nice to have a day where Peyton and I can just be together with no big drama. First and foremost is the update that her spots have started to go away, no new ones have formed, she never got a fever and the clinic feels she’s in the clear from that.

We spent the day preparing for Valentine’s Day, buying cards for the family, party favors for the school parties that are happening tomorrow and then a stop at one of our favorite places, the used bookstore. She was so funny and precocious at the bookstore that she just charmed the pants off the other shoppers. One asked her if she’d read any Shakespeare yet and she answered “Not yet”. She picked out a sweet book that I read to her no less than four times before her nap.

I’m watching her appearance change day to day. I’m almost curious enough to take a photo of her every day and then make a little movie and see what the changes look like sped up. Her head is still shiny bald in places and fuzzing up in others. She’s losing the weight she gained on the steroids, we’re lucky if we get a meal in her each day. Her bruises are horrendous, she’s got that abused child look about her. Although she pinked up after her red blood infusion, today she was very pale with the starts of some mighty big circles under her eyes. Her smile is still glorious to see, her laughter contagious. She’s so animated when she chatters on about something and her big achievement today was learning to play the harmonica, which she carried all day. I don’t know why I never thought of it before, it’s better than a cowbell. When that thing is in her hand I know exactly where she is at all times! Wonderful invention, that harmonica.

We had a funny conversation in the car about her new musical ability.

“I play the harmonica like Dora!”
“Yes, but can you play like that guy from Blues Traveler?”
“Huh?”
“If you’re going to play the harmonica you’re going to have to learn about the blues.”
“I’m not blue.”
“No it’s a kind of music, you can play it with the harmonica.”
“Oooooh, maybe I do got blue.”
“Now you have the blues?”
“Yes, I have three blues.”

Wouldn’t it be fun if she ended up being some amazing harmonica prodigy? Of course, I’d be satisfied if she stopped trying to shove the thing in my mouth after she’s blown all the spit her body is capable of producing into it. Good times!!

Rachael went back to dance class at her school, she was just bouncing with glee when I picked her up. Her teacher is lovely and she is a fantastic person who sees the special needs Rachael has right now. The extra attention she craves and the ability to shine when she has to have her needs put on hold with all that’s going on. I am so thankful for the people in our lives who’ve helped us keep our kids involved, feeling loved and special every day, even when we don’t have the time or energy to give them all that we want and need to.

Tomorrow Peyton and I are having breakfast with our friend Stacey Chubb. We’ve asked for prayers for her son Kyle who was in remission from leukemia but having some serious problems. The news came to me today that he’s no longer in remission, that he’s had a relapse and I’m hoping that tomorrow I can be some support and comfort to Stacey. She is an amazing mom and becoming such a fantastic friend. I’ve said it before, but these families that I’ve met, we become so closely knit through our common bond. I’m devastated for the Chubb family, this setback is going to be incredibly difficult physically on Kyle, but I can’t imagine how hard it’s going to be emotionally. The risks are so much higher when they relapse, the treatment harsher and the fight for control over this disease is critical. Please pray, pray for the family, for the oncology team that guides them through this, for the Lord to show His love and power every day to this family.

f.r.o.G…fully relying on God
—-Anissa

I gotta tell you, I’m feeling a little fried right now. This week was an adventure.

1. 4 days of clinic visits
2. A visit to the Florida Aquarium with 40ish REALLLLY excited 5-6 year olds

3. A weekend where we couldn’t really go anywhere because Peyton’s counts are low
4. I did the taxes today

Next I think I’ll free the galaxy from the tyranny of the Empire AND try to squeeze in remembering what I’m supposed to send with the kids to school since all my reminder papers got a bath in milk over the weekend.

Peyton looks great in purple. This is fantastic, because every time she falls (which seems to be especially often this week) she forms these pretty evil looking little bruises. This kid runs at 110%, she falls a LOT! She also cracked her head on the coffee table while trying to lean down to put her shoes on AND backed into the corner of a kitchen cabinet door. It’s sort of like a cosmic game of Wack-A-Mole, gravity and fate are just waiting to see where she’ll pop up next so they can smack her around a little. I’m guessing from all the bruising her platelet counts are low and although we only have one scheduled day for chemo this week, we’ll probably end up there for some platelets….or Mr Yellow if you like to make it sound happy.

UPDATE!

WOW>>>>I had to stop writing last night and figured I’d finish it up this afternoon after we returned from our uneventful day at the clinic. Riiiiiiight.

Peyton and I dropped the kids off at school this morning in the middle of the pouring rain. She was thrilled to be wearing her puffy purple rain coat and was generally in a great mood. She asked for McDonalds for breakfast and I was happy to oblige since she was offering to eat something. We got to the clinic, she ate, we talked and laughed with some other patients and staff and it seemed as though it was going to be a nice and easy day. I am so wrong sometimes. In fact, sometimes I stand in sheer amazement at the totalitude (do you like my new word, I made it up) of my wrongness.

The first incident went something like this:

“Mrs. Mayhew, you need to come over and see this.” Dr Kerr then shines the otoscope into Peyton right ear canal.
“What is that?!!! Is that popcorn?”
“I believe so.”
“Peyton! Why did you put popcorn in your ear?”
“Because I did.” She’s so zen it hurts sometimes.

Yes, they had to extract a popcorn kernel from her ear. She was so happy about this event that we had to call her father and announce “I sticked popcorn in my ear, Daddy!” She’s promised not to stick anything else in her ear, however, most of the people that we shared this with went on to tell their own horror stories of peas, play-doh, polly pocket shoes, etc. I could almost see her little mind filing away these ideas for later.

Now, sometime after we got to the clinic, but slightly before true misery started, Peyton broke out in a red rash. At first there were a few red bumps on her arm, but they spread to her hands, back, and shoulder. It wasn’t horrible, just a few bumps to start with, but it was did pop up quickly and then started to bloom on her fingers and in between her fingers. Then it just stopped spreading. Well, that’s interesting, isn’t it? She’s had the chicken pox vaccine, and the spots don’t have any kind of blistered appearance, they don’t itch or hurt…..no one has any idea. She’s had a nasty little cold the past few days involving the cough, stopped up nose and sore throat, but no fever.

There is a nice big sign next to the check in window that says (paraphrasing) “If you have a rash please let us know. We don’t want you spreading your nasty crusty disease around and any violators will be beaten until compliant.” We arrived unaware of any spots and went straight to the play room, where we can best infect others with whatever we have! I felt so bad that if it turned out to be something contagious, we just exposed about 7 other kids! Arggggg. We got sequestered into an exam room and anyone who came in had to be on aware of touching the spotted wonder.

Peyton’s CBC showed that my powers of platelet perception were on the mark. Normal platelet ranges are between 150-350000 and hers was 23000. We now needed to order platelets for an infusion to be done later in the afternoon. Cindy, our nurse, let us know that we could go home, eat and then come back at 1:30 for the infusion. I asked her if I should go home and pack a bag. She told me that it couldn’t hurt to have it on hand, just in case.

So, we left the clinic, went home, I packed a suitcase for a 4-5 day hospital stay and had Peter lug it to the truck. Peyton nibbled on some lunch and I constantly eyed her for new or suspicious spots.

Peyton fell asleep on the way back to the clinic and stayed asleep until it was time for me to put her EMLA cream on her legs in prep for her shots. This action was welcomed by hysterical crying….eyes closed, still half asleep, she cried and wailed for almost 45 full minutes. Did I mention that we were still locked in a little exam room together? With the door closed? It was loud.

She got hooked up for her infusion, she promptly managed to jar something loose in the line and got blood and platelets all over herself. After the infusion, she busted out in hives on her head, an allergic reaction. I had to laugh because now she has two different categories of red spots on her body. It takes three of us, but we wrestle her down to give her the leg shots, it’s painful and she’s miserable….my poor baby. They give her a dose of Benadryl to calm the hives and what looks like a minor skin reaction to the leg shots. Something new to the mix, she has red patches at the injection site. Still no answer on the original red spots, and they’re spreading to her feet and toes now.

“You guys stay in here.” Cindy reminds us as she leaves the room.
“Cause you wouldn’t want us to spread it around to all the healthy kids, right?”
“Yeah, we want to keep them with JUST cancer!”
It’s all about perception!

We ended up coming home. The spots are still there, but no longer spreading and still haven’t formed blisters or anything exciting. She has no fever, no symptoms, no need to break out in showtunes. If any of these things happen then we’re to call the doc and probably head to the hospital. It may just be a random case of weird red bumps. She’s been an emotional wreck all day, in fact, the entire time she napped she’d just start crying and whimpering. I’m exhausted and we have to go back on Thursday for a CBC to see what Friday holds in store for us.

The name Patrick Wills was brought to my attention. He’s a husband, father of three boys, the exact same ages as my three kids, and he died from leukemia on Sunday. I just pray that there is peace and love in the hearts of his family and friends who go on to remember him, that God will provide comfort for their pain and that Patrick has been welcomed by God into a happy and healthy eternity. This is the web page for Patrick : patrickwills.

f.ro.G….fully relying on God
—-Anissa