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Ever wonder how a size 12 shoe actually tastes? Feel free to just ask my husband

I’ve already voiced my issues with driving a mini-van and have come to terms with it.


My husband opens his mouth and jams his foot SO deep there are tread marks on his liver.

“You are so much hotter in the Suburban.”



“So, what you’re saying is that I’m ugly in the minivan.”

“…..NO…I didn’t say that…YOU said that…I just said you were hotter in the Suburban.”

“Oh yes, I got that part, but what you’re saying is that I’m not as hot in the van.”

“…..uh….NO, those are YOUR words…you’re reading into it things I didn’t say.”

“So, set me straight.  If I am ‘hotter’ in the Suburban, you’re in essence saying that I am ‘less hot’ in the minivan.”

“….errr…no? I’m just saying that I’m going to buy you a Suburban again.”

“Because you can’t stand to be seen with your ugly wife in the minivan?”

“I didn’t say that! Now you’re just making stuff up, you know I think you’re hot all the time, I was just….”

“Well, let’s just make sure I have this straight then…I wouldn’t want there to be ANY miscommunication on my part…if I am ‘hotter’ in the Suburban, what DOES that make me in the minivan? You tell me, in your own words, WHAT I am in the minivan.”

*crickets chirp*

“You’re always hot! You’re just hottER in the suburban.”

“Sooooo, what you’re saying is that I am in some way less attractive because I’m in a minivan.”

*damn those noisy crickets*

“I see you and I think ‘movie star goddess’…I see you in a minivan and I think ‘movie star really pretty woman’.”


7 Comments on “Ever wonder how a size 12 shoe actually tastes? Feel free to just ask my husband”

  1. #1 Jennifer
    on Jun 4th, 2009 at 10:12 pm

    That was truly the bright spot in this complete day of what the hell kinda crack does my sil put in her damn crazy flakes everyday in order to muck up everyone else’s life.

    Gotta love ya! Make me laugh again tomorrow. I’ll need it.

  2. #2 Niki a.k.a. Mommielicious
    on Jun 4th, 2009 at 10:13 pm


    Niki a.k.a. Mommieliciouss last blog post..Who wants the Clap for Valentines Day???

  3. #3 PAPA
    on Jun 5th, 2009 at 11:25 am

    I always wonder how my wife fell for me when I drive a Honda Accord. I mean aren’t women supposed to like guys in sleek, fancy cars.

    Must be my sleek, fancy “outer” body.


    PAPAs last blog post..Goodbye

  4. #4 sara
    on Jun 5th, 2009 at 1:50 pm

    this made me laugh out loud at work and totally gave away that i was not, in fact, doing what i should be doing! 🙂 thanks for the smile!

    saras last blog post..Ppppppppffffffffffftttttttttt!

  5. #5 Marie
    on Jun 6th, 2009 at 12:56 am


  6. #6 Heidi
    on Jun 7th, 2009 at 12:34 am

    What we don’t put our poor husbands through!!

    Heidis last blog post..Happy Anniversary

  7. #7 Heather @ Domestic Extraordinaire
    on Jun 8th, 2009 at 12:16 am

    If my hubby said something like that I would totally have the same convo with him. Altho it would probably end with him bolting up and running out of the house stating “I can’t take this shit anymore.”

    Heather @ Domestic Extraordinaires last blog post..Sixteen things