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At least my taste in beer and hair styles has improved

“Where you this interesting in high school?”

I got this message on Facebook the other day from a guy I went to high school with.  I can’t say we were friends or that we even knew each other all that well. For a few weekends we hung out in a mutual friend’s basement and drank…kool-aid…and…read the Bible.

Yup, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

I was sixteen, don’t judge me!

But he friended me in one of those friends-of-a-friend-of-a-friend Facebook chain reactions and after a few days of lurking around, THAT is the first thing he says to me.

“Where you this interesting in high school?”

I don’t know if my random, scattered, often confusing Facebook status updates offer a true glimpse into my soul…but they sure give you enough of an idea if you’d really want me to be your next door neighbor.

Does he mean interesting as in “Wow, you’re fascinating and I can barely leave my computer in anticipation of the next pearl of wisdom that will fall from your lips” or “When was the last time you had your prescriptions checked for proper dosages?”

Was I interesting in high school?  To a sixteen year old boy?  Probably NOT!  I still don’t think that I’d understand what makes teenage boys tick <—er..not that I’d want to, because I’m all thirty-five years old now and that would just make me all creepy and stuff.

I’m just saying.

So I played a bit of “If I could go back to high school knowing what I know now…..”.

Pffft, you know you do it too.

  • I would totally NOT get into the Hypercolor clothing thing, realizing the hottest parts of my body are my armpits and my boobs….I may have figured out why I didn’t date a LOT in school.
  • I would stop thinking of the movie “Breakdance the Movie” as the most kickass dance film ever…I wasn’t old enough to see “Flashdance” when it came out and I hadn’t yet figured out that guys who wore red, mesh crop tops may not be INTO chicks.  SHUT UP!
  • I would NOT make that bet to wear shorts all winter long…in Wisconsin…for $150 measly bucks.
  • I would have appreciated the fact that I had skin like a newborn baby’s butt and never touched it with makeup….including bright eye shadows…especially because all my friends were white and none of us could figure out how to put eye makeup on MY eyes.
  • I would have totally broken the fingers of the girl who dared call my friend a name that starts with a W and rhymes with “door”…oh WAIT..I DID that one.
  • I’d find better ways to cope with my anger issues.
  • I wouldn’t have had that first cigarette during that field trip.
  • I would have told him that I liked him instead of just being late to class so I could detour three halls away to walk by his locker.
  • I would have filtered all my allowance into Apple stock instead of saving for a freaking Guess jeans.
  • I would have saved the cassette tapes of Milli Vanilli instead of trashing them in disgust…I wonder if those originals are worth anything on Ebay yet?
  • There are girls I would have told to suck it.
  • There are friends I would have stayed in touch with.
  • I would have been confident to be as strange and weird and random as I always have been, and MAYBE I would be able to say that I was interesting in high school…at least I would have been able to say that I was honest about who I was.

I’d like to think that like little kids who have to grow into their ears or noses, I have finally grown into my personality.

14 Comments on “At least my taste in beer and hair styles has improved”

  1. #1 Caffeinatrix
    on Apr 20th, 2009 at 1:14 am

    If you flip through my middle school and high school yearbooks, one of the most common remarks, year after year, were in regards to my being “funny but weird”. The problem? I DIDN’T THINK I WAS ALL THAT WEIRD. But these days, I just roll with my weirdness and frankly, compared to most people. I’m really frakking normal so…

    Oh and yeah, those hypercolor shirts? FAIL

    Caffeinatrixs last blog post..Wii Caved

  2. #2 Undomestic Diva
    on Apr 20th, 2009 at 1:23 am

    Loved this post. And I have to say, while I regret that we didn’t meet in better circumstances, it was still a delight to get to meet you this past week. You are hilarious and charming and sweet.

    Undomestic Divas last blog post..Counting calories

  3. #3 Andrea Neuman
    on Apr 20th, 2009 at 3:15 am

    I was the “cute” one in high school. Every stinkin’ signature in my yearbook was “stay cute” or “you are such a cutie!”


    Oh good lord! I just had an epiphany! I must have been the Sandra Dee of my high school! But without the super cool makeover at the end with the painted on leather outfit and the teased hair.

    Well, that and the cool musical/singing/dancing scene at the school fair with John Travolta…

    Andrea Neumans last blog post..No Wonder His Skin Has Been So White Lately…

  4. #4 MonsteRawr
    on Apr 20th, 2009 at 7:45 am

    Wait, is he trying to say that you were lame in high school? What a back-handed compliment!
    But I totally get you. I think I’ve always been as odd as I am now, but I’m only just beginning to learn how to own it. It’s a nice feeling, but part of me wishes that I’d done it back when I had my hot 16-year-old ass.

    MonsteRawrs last blog post..Editing My Past

  5. #5 diana
    on Apr 20th, 2009 at 8:08 am

    I loved this post. Facebook has made me revisit my high school self a bunch of times. It is amazing that I made it through those days considering how uncomfortable I was in my own skin and how much others’ opinions mattered. It was a great time in some ways, but ohhh the angst.

    dianas last blog post..Nada Mucho

  6. #6 Melissa
    on Apr 20th, 2009 at 8:11 am

    Hah! Hypercolor! I had an orange long-sleeved one that turned yellow. ;o)

    I totally agree with this! To think of all the stupid, pointless shit I did… but I guess it made me the person I am now, and I am okay with that!

    Melissas last blog post..For Your Sunday Reading…

  7. #7 Dana
    on Apr 20th, 2009 at 11:03 am

    You’re right – there is one big thing I wish I’d known in high school: that I was great. I was tall and thin with great skin and hair. I should’ve been freakin’ nekid (as opposed to naked) all the time. I shouldn’t have given a rat’s ass about my lack of boobs. At least they were perky! And my lack of curves? Total fashion model now.

    Instead I hid under one-piece bathing suits with long-sleeved cover-ups to camoflauge my “bony arms” and collar bones.

    That beautiful hair and skin? Once went a week without a bath because I was so into Pearl Jam and flannel. Why was I trying to dress like a guy? Combat Boots? Or the Tan Construction Boots? Bought from the guy’s department?

    Yep, I should’ve been nekid and flaunted what I now wish I had (or didn’t have, as the case may be).

    Danas last blog post..Home!

  8. #8 Kyla
    on Apr 20th, 2009 at 11:06 am

    I think we’ve all probably grown into ourselves a bit since high school.

    Kylas last blog post..Special Sunday: Bowling

  9. #9 Issa
    on Apr 20th, 2009 at 11:45 am

    You can always use my comeback, I was the funniest chick I knew. I use it when I’m drunk, but I think it should work in this situation too.

  10. #10 the mama bird diaries
    on Apr 20th, 2009 at 1:17 pm

    What a weird thing for him to say! Facebook is so funny. Makes me happy that I’m no longer in high school

    the mama bird diariess last blog post..my favorite memphis girl comes to nyc

  11. #11 Miss Grace
    on Apr 20th, 2009 at 2:31 pm

    I think it’s pretty common not to come into your own until you’re older. The people who were totally comfortable with themselves and whatever idiosyncrasies that involved? Were either the most or least popular kids at school, without fail.

    Miss Graces last blog post..My sister: Genius

  12. #12 Marissa
    on Apr 20th, 2009 at 5:07 pm

    Broke someone’s fingers!? Hahaha I LOVE it!

  13. #13 Ashley Hast
    on Apr 20th, 2009 at 5:34 pm

    I haven’t even finished reading your post yet…but I’m loving it so far…I forgot ALL ABOUT hypercolor!!!!!!!! I’m SO looking for some stuff on eBay now. Do you think the hyper-color-ness would still work?

    Ashley Hasts last blog post..And *that’s* why I’m Mother Of The Year!

  14. #14 Awesome Mom
    on Apr 20th, 2009 at 9:11 pm

    That is why I avoid that place like the plague. I really don’t like revisiting that period of time in my life, I was so confused and awkward.