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Yes, Master

It’s 1:55 A.M. I wish I were asleep. But I also wish for world peace and that cheesecake didn’t cause cellulite, so I guess it’s just up there with things that are not to be. I got the never-so-gentle knee to the kidney/slap to the arm combo that always inspires an instant wake-up. Followed by those precious words….

“I’m hungry.”

“Of course you are. Can you wait til the sun comes up or do you need to eat now?”

“Right now.”


“I want some steak.

“Not going to happen, what else sounds good?”

“Fruit loops.”

“You guys ate them all, we’re out.”

“Well, what do we have?”

Oh, the dreaded question!!! It equates to “How are you going to fail me as a mother by not having the food that will ease this beast in my belly?”

“There are eggs, I can make you a hot dog, we have strawberries, grapes, apples…”

“Apples, I want apples.”

Sweet! I have apples!

Then I get to the fridge, I open the crisper drawer and can’t see any red. There’s NO RED!!!! Oh, ok, there, under the bag of grapes. There’s an apple. A lone red apple, shiny and bruise-free…my only salvation from having to grovel back to Peyton with an alternative food source and possibly causing her eardrums to spontaneously explode.

I cut up the apple, put it down in front of her and start to go back to the kitchen to turn off the light.

“Where are you going!!?”

“To the kitchen.”

“Oh. Don’t leave me, I think I’m still going to be hungry when this apple is all gone.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it, master.”

“I’m not MASTER! I’m Peyton!”

“Sorry it’s late, some times I can’t tell the difference.”


ps….There is no chocolate goodness or sugary explosion for the morning. There are pretty baskets, full of fake plastic grass. But OUR Easter Bunny? She’s seen these kids rake in more candy than any three kids have the right to possess at any one given point in time. So NO MORE! MY Easter Bunny is really lazy. She put dollar bills in the eggs because she didn’t want to have to go out in the rain to get candy that they weren’t going to eat anyway.

I hope the Easter Bunny gets a nap today.

1 Comment on “Yes, Master”

  1. #1 Dawn.
    on Mar 23rd, 2008 at 7:44 pm

    Hey Anissa,
    Just wanted to stop by and wish you all a Happy Easter. Hope you enjoyed your time with your friends. We've all had such a busy weekend, we're looking forward to doing absolutely nothing tomorrow before the kids go back to school on Tuesday. (No doubt they'll all manage to pig out on more chocolate before then though)!!
    Take care,