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What else would it smell like?

So there I am.

Cuddled warm and cozy on my bed, reunited with a pillow I left at a friend’s house a month ago, eyebrow deep in Jen Lancaster’s book “Such a Pretty Fat”….which, is HYsterical, but also makes me feel a tad guilt-ridden because I am not using the gym membership I started in January, which I would totally have canceled but you have to go IN PERSON to do it and if I could “remember” to go to the gym in the first place I wouldn’t be canceling the membership…and I hear the thwap-thwap of teeny feet slapping into the room.

I mentally check out of the book, but continue to hold the reading position to see what she’s going to say.

A hand touches my back.

“Mama, will you tickle me?”

“Tickle you?”


“Sure, but you have to crawl up here.”


She scrambles up the mattress and shows up in my range of vision, all bright eyes and huge smile, anticipating a romping good tickling.

“Let’s try it a new way.”

“Ok, mama.”

“Lay your head on the pillow.”

She does.

“Pull the blanket up to your chin.”

She does this as well.

“Now, close your eyes.”

“Are we going to tickle?”


“Cause it feels like a nap.”

Dang. She’s sharp.

“No, no, we’re going to tickle this new way.”

“Hmmm, ok.”

So much suspicion from a four year old seems wrong. Where’s the trust, ya’ll?!

“I’m ready, mama.”

“Ok, we’re going to do a Reiki tickle.”

*chirp chirp*

“We’re going to tickle without touching…with our eyes closed…and our head on the pillow.”

“Are you sure this isn’t a nap?”

“Nope, it’s a tickle.”

Now, for all my devious trickery, it was actually quite successful because the threat of a tickle works almost as fiercely as the actual hands-on method.  Just knowing that I was almost tickling her had all the traditional signs of a good tickling: giggling, gasping and squirming.

Then she flings an arm over and slaps me dead across the face.

Oh. The pretty stars!

“Sorry, mama, you ok?”

“I’m fine…but…you DO KNOW what this means?”

She looks at me all serious, full of possible retribution.

“THIS means it’s time for a REAL tickle!”

And I attack.

The kind of tickle where arms and legs cease to function in any effective anti-tickling method, just flail around helplessly, where the armpit and the top of your head are equally ticklish, when you think you may pee just a little bit.

At one point, her shorts slide down and there’s a little handful of booty squirming around as she screams in glee and horror. Her booty is so small that both cheeks still fit in the palm of my hand and I grab it for a final tickle.


We both flop to our backs to breathe after the tickle-fest is over.

“Ewww, smell your hand, Mama.”

I cup my booty-grabbing hand over her face and she screams in hysterical horror.

“MAMA, don’t!”

“What’s it smell like?”

“Like butt-crack in the morning.”

11 Comments on “What else would it smell like?”

  1. #1 Niki
    on Dec 2nd, 2008 at 8:42 am

    OMG!! That is too hilarious!!!

  2. #2 chris
    on Dec 2nd, 2008 at 10:48 am

    Such a sweet, sweet, story… and then POW! Right in the kisser!


  3. #3 Adventures In Babywearing
    on Dec 2nd, 2008 at 2:47 pm

    Oh my gosh that is so cute and hilarious!


  4. #4 Janna
    on Dec 2nd, 2008 at 3:19 pm

    I have got to stop reading your blog while I am consuming liquids… my keyboard may never be the same!

    That is hilarious! I really identify with the arm in the face. Usually it’s my 2 yo son and his ginormous head flopping over to cause me to see stars, feel nauseated, and worry about a nosebleed.

  5. #5 Natalie
    on Dec 2nd, 2008 at 6:11 pm


  6. #6 lucille
    on Dec 2nd, 2008 at 7:42 pm

    Too funny. Where does she come up with this stuff? I needed a good laugh. THanks Peyton.

  7. #7 Jen W
    on Dec 2nd, 2008 at 10:37 pm

    I’m a huge fan of the tickle fest! The butt crack in the morning? Not so much 🙂

  8. #8 threeundertwo
    on Dec 3rd, 2008 at 1:05 am

    ROFL! As opposed to say, how it smells in the afternoon? *snort*

  9. #9 heather...
    on Dec 3rd, 2008 at 2:13 am

    HA!!! I’m glad the threat of tickling works at any age.

    And butt crack totally smells different depending on the time of day. Just sayin’….

  10. #10 Amanda
    on Dec 5th, 2008 at 12:14 am

    Hahaha … Oi, they never stop, do they?

    Juliette needs “tickles” to go to bed. I’m actually rubbing her back, but she asks for it to go to sleep. And it works.

    I just can’t help buy wonder what the heck I am setting her up for in life, but she’s not going to be like this forever, so hopefully she’ll outgrow the “tickles” to get to sleep.

  11. #11 bejewell
    on Dec 13th, 2008 at 11:42 am

    I’m typing this with one hand because my little Bean is sleeping on my other arm after a marathon tickle session. Or maybe it was my hand-butt smell that made him pass out.

    Either way, major freaky coincidence, right?!?