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Better living through chemicals

Dear Company-That-Manufactures-Robitussin-with-Codiene,

I truly want to extend my deepest regards and heartfelt thanks for the unexpected joy you’ve brought into my life.

I recently (last night) was on the road for over eight hours driving from Florida to Alabama.  As my daughter has your product prescribed, I planned to give her a dose to knock her butt out make me not want to abandon her at a rest area alleviate the coughing issues she’s been having.

I had been warned by both the prescribing doctor and the cute little label on the bottle that it would make my child drowsy and sleepy.

It did neither, thankyouverymuch.

However, I cannot be angry for the lack of sleep, because you know what it did do?

It made her high as a kite.

Completely and totally.

How do I know this?

Because for 20 uproarious minutes she sang a tuneless song about a bat, in a language that I think she made up on the fly.

Followed by a vicious diatribe to Ruby (from Max and Ruby, a cartoon reference which, if you don’t have a small child, will make no sense to you) about how she “is NOT the boss of Max, and she needs to stop being mean and a bossy sister or else!”  I do believe your drug has, in fact, loosened a beast of anger transference on Ruby that should be rightly targeting my middle child.

She then had a complete conversation…there may or may not have been some imaginary tea involved…with the girl in the window…that being herself, in case you weren’t following the story properly.

So, thank you for this enlightening experience.

Now, if you could just make it actually work on the coughing issue, that’d be great.

Yours truly,

Anissa

**P.S…Some people said some really nice things about me. I didn’t even have to pay them! Not kidding. There were also some other people they said nice things about too….and they all deserved it WAY more than me, but I love them to pieces for adding me to the list of mommyblogger love.

Smooches, Trish and the gang! I’m honored.

So, go check out the list of the top 50 Mom Bloggers (there is some mad good reading to be found on that list) courtesy of MomDot and if you leave them enough love maybe I’ll crack the top 20 next year. HEH!

**P.S.S…and in case you’ve got nothing else to do with your time, don’t forget to check out what I wrote about appreciating the good over at 5 Minutes for Special Needs.

18 Comments on “Better living through chemicals”

  1. #1 Alicia
    on Dec 31st, 2008 at 7:36 am

    Wow…craziness, but somehow I’m not surprised. And I’m sure that it would do the same thing to my little one.

    I hope she and you, get some sleep soon!

  2. #2 Jen W
    on Dec 31st, 2008 at 9:55 am

    Ha Ha Ha!!! I would love to have been in your car hearing her rip into Ruby!

  3. #3 Awesome Mom
    on Dec 31st, 2008 at 10:01 am

    Lol!!! I am glad that my eldest reacts the correct way to those lovely narcotics that sometimes cone our way but it sounds like you had an amusing time listening to her.

  4. #4 Jessica
    on Dec 31st, 2008 at 10:06 am

    LOL about the cough syrup. I love that stuff and it does knock me out but meds don’t always work the same way on children. I am sure it must have been funny.

  5. #5 Chrissi
    on Dec 31st, 2008 at 10:18 am

    Is she still on much medication? If so, could it have been a reaction?

    Tyler used to be that way with benedryl. Oh – and if you gave him cold meds with steroids. Watch out! 😉

  6. #6 Niki a.k.a. Mommielicious
    on Dec 31st, 2008 at 10:19 am

    Yeah narcotics are fun like that. Usually for anyone. (Not that I would know this from personal experience or anything.) My daughter had broken a tooth (by “hopping like bunny” on the tile floor during Easter) and needed to have it pulled. So the Oral Surgeon gave her Valium. You think narcs are fun – get some Valium into your child and see what ensues! LOL She couldn’t walk straight. Even standing unaided as a little much. Okay maybe i’m mean – but I couldn’t stop laughing.

  7. #7 Average Girl
    on Dec 31st, 2008 at 11:48 am

    She conversed with herself, in the window? Feel proud, at least yours was on drugs. My 7 year old askd “mom can I draw a smiley face on my first finger so I can talk to it when I get bored”? Wait a minute it was the day after Christmas, what do you mean if you get bored? No drugs that time….. my poor kids.

    I will be checking out Momdot and the top 50. Thanks and Congrats!!

  8. #8 Beverly
    on Dec 31st, 2008 at 12:18 pm

    Doesn’t everyone have an occasional conversation with the girl in the window?

    Just wondering.

    Hope Peyton’s feeling better!

  9. #9 Nicole
    on Dec 31st, 2008 at 12:24 pm

    Ok, you? Owe me a new laptop because I just sprayed my coffee all over this one when I laughed at your daughter going on a Ruby diatribe. 🙂

  10. #10 Mel @ A Box of Chocolates
    on Dec 31st, 2008 at 1:06 pm

    Found you through MomDot’s Top 50 list and don’t know how I’ve missed you!! I have enjoyed perusing your blog and laughing all morning. You’re in my reader and I will be back soon. Happy New Year to you and your family.

  11. #11 Brittany
    on Dec 31st, 2008 at 1:33 pm

    OK, that is hilarious, and for the record…RUBY IS A BIOTCH! I would sing the same song.

  12. #12 Fear and Parenting in Las Vegas
    on Dec 31st, 2008 at 4:34 pm

    I would have found a rest stop STAT. Then again, you’re a wayyyy better mom than me.

  13. #13 Carrie
    on Dec 31st, 2008 at 11:30 pm

    Hey, I’ve always thought Ruby needed a good smackdown. BTW, where are their parents?

    Hope she’s feeling better!

  14. #14 Janna
    on Jan 1st, 2009 at 12:40 am

    I am laughing so hard right now! Not about the codeine, although that is funny and pretty much typical of most kids (and my husband) on codeine. No, I am laughing about Ruby. My 9yo son just said the same thing about Ruby! In fact, he told his little brother (age 2), “I promise I won’t ever be as bossy as Ruby. She’s just mean!”

    I attribute Ruby’s bossiness to (as alluded to earlier) a lack of parental guidance! (And then I remind myself that this is a cartoon and they are talking bunnies that wear clothes.)

  15. #15 threeundertwo
    on Jan 1st, 2009 at 11:22 pm

    Ruby is so the boss of Max! I would have totally joined in that debate.

  16. #16 Karl
    on Jan 1st, 2009 at 11:22 pm

    I hope you saved some of that shit for me.

  17. #17 BlapherMJ
    on Jan 2nd, 2009 at 12:44 am

    That is too funny! Well, if she wasn’t sleeping, at least she was entertaining! LOL

    Congrats on the P.S. – much deserved girl!!

  18. #18 Mary in ATL
    on Jan 3rd, 2009 at 6:40 am

    LMAO- that was even funnier the second time around when I tried to read it out loud for my BF. I’m not sure what was funnier – your post or me trying to read it but we both had a gasping for breath laugh. I hope Peyton feels better soon. Might want to avoid Dimetap and sudafed too…they both make me high as a kite!