Dear 35th year,
You are not off to what most people would refer to as “a good start”.
In fact, some might say you’re a looking a little scary right now.
I had enough issues with the fact that it was the 35th birthday, but I got over it and even decided to celebrate it…even though part of me would rather just sit at home in the dark and wait for my AARP card to arrive.
Now, my husband wasn’t here to celebrate it with me, but that was because I told him to just go ahead and stay in Alabama. Oh, yes I did. After all, his heart belonged to the Steelers long before it belonged to me and I didn’t even feel like dealing with the inner turmoil he’d feel trying to decide which event would capture his attention…and I didn’t need the blow to my pride of knowing that he’d much rather be watching a bunch of men in tights.
So, I called up a few friends and we made plans to hit the town.
Little did we know that the town was going to hit back. HARD.
Dinner was lovely….the food was good…the service was impeccible…the company divine.
In retrospect? We should have just hugged and said goodbye and called it a night.
A man might still be alive.
No, that’s a complete overstatement. He’d still be dead…he did have a massive heart attack, fall off his bar stool and cause my two friends (both nurses) to have to run over and perform CRP. My two friends. Kneeling on the floor of a bar performing CPR on a man with no pulse.
Ten minutes prior we did a shot and took incriminating photos of each other on a pole!
Then? Dead guy, right there…as his poor wife crying…and the ambulence taking him away…my poor friends working to save this guy’s life…the twenty people who refused to stop line dancing fifteen feet away from where this poor man is laid out on the floor. Classy joint.
Pretty EPIC buzzkill, I gotta say.
On the other hand, we have the makings of a FINE country song in there, don’t ya think?
After THAT and our complete failure to be able to dance with the self-appointed professionals we decided to leave. HA! We would show them that we CAN dance…we are capable of some mighty fine booty shaking fun…we just can’t do all that “turn, left, stomp, and kick and kick and stomp and back” crap.
Except, all the booty-shaking clubs are in Ybor City or downtown Tampa.
Again, did I mention it’s Superbowl weekend? And Tampa’s hosting?
So, any thoughts of going into Tampa to find a party time was dissuaded by the thoughts of traffic, cost and the fact that every hooker for a 600 mile radius had rolled into town to expand their business.
No matter. We would find a place in our little town that has music and some fun still to be had. I mean, really? Not everyone went downtown to celebrate Superbowl style, right?
Oh. They did? Wow. Hmmmm.
Well, how about that.
After a ridiculous stop into one place that you had to apparently be over 50 and deeply into Donna Summers to enjoy, we gave up. Declared defeat. Took our toys out of the sandbox and go home.
But NO!
Why not relive some glory of our youth and try to do a late night Waffle House run….remember those? After the bars closed, some greasy hashbrowns seemed to just be the perfect topper to a good night?
As it hadn’t been a good night so far, we should have known it wouldn’t go well.
Just as we were getting ready to leave the restaurant, our need for bacon appeased, a group of kids come into the Waffle House and announce, “Hey, there’s a crying baby in a car in the parking lot, someone should check on that.”
They looked at us quite pointedly, as if to say “you look like the type who’d have popped a couple of kids out of that body, you should really go check on that baby”.
We thought they were joking…it was late, it was dark, it was cold and it’s not like stupid kids haven’t been known to walk in and make ridiculous statements before…especially in a Waffle House in the middle of the night.
Natalie and I paid our bill and headed out.
And stopped dead in our tracks.
The car next to us? Yeah, there really are three tiny kids sleeping in the car….no adult…engine off…SLEEPING IN THE CAR.
Did I mention before it was a roasting 41 degrees last night? BABIES IN THE CAR! My brain exploded.
Apparently, the warning that a baby was crying jarred something in the memory of the mom because she walked out of the restaurant, opened the door, made sure there were still three and then closed the door and went BACK into the restaurant. Leaving her BABIES IN THE CAR. The babies that oh-wow-check-that-out-isn’t-that-unexpected didn’t have ONE single carseat between the three of them.
We dialed 911. We reported the mom and the car and the license plate and then you know what we find out from talking to the police after? They can’t do anything to her! As long as she can see the car and the engine isn’t running (because THAT would be dangerous), she’s not doing anything wrong.
**NOTE to self: that whole “I can’t get a babysitter, so I can’t go out” thing isn’t a problem anymore….just make sure you get a window seat and you can do whatever you want! Good to know. **
So, needless to say, 35th birthday, you really have nowhere to go but UP from here. No pressure, but if you could just go ahead and make some nice, fluffy, good things happen, it would be much appreciated.
Looking forward to another big year.
Sincerely,
Anissa
**Updated to add – My kids? Rock. They gave me sweet gifts and lots of love and made everything ok. The best kids EVER.
on Feb 1st, 2009 at 1:56 pm
You really deserve a do-over. My heart hurts just reading your post! I hope that this birthday is MUCH better the second time around
AnissaM Reply:
February 1st, 2009 at 6:16 pm
I got to spend the day with my kids and open the gifts they handpicked for me and that makes EVERYTHING all better.
on Feb 1st, 2009 at 1:59 pm
Oh, sweetie!! I’m sorry that your 35th got off to a rough start.
However, you can quit with the AARP jokes. Some of us passed that milestone you have arrived at a bit ago. AARP isn’t sending me anything…yet.
I keed, I keed.
I love you and THE Year of Anissa can only get better. Starting Thursday.
Pinky swear.
Shashs last blog post..Grace in Small Things: part 17 of 365
AnissaM Reply:
February 1st, 2009 at 6:17 pm
Thursday can’t come fast enough!! I am so excited it’s just embarrassing.
on Feb 1st, 2009 at 2:47 pm
Maybe God (or someone) is trying to force you to count your blessings.
And Shash is right: it can only get better!
xoxo
Melisas last blog post..Six Should Have Been Enough.
AnissaM Reply:
February 1st, 2009 at 6:18 pm
and better it got! Peyton? got me a sparkly snow globe music thing that makes HER giggle when it plays…don’t get much better than that.
on Feb 1st, 2009 at 2:50 pm
There are no words…
But happy birthday! …I hope today is better.
Marias last blog post..wordless – I see you
AnissaM Reply:
February 1st, 2009 at 6:19 pm
Nathaniel got me the funniest bday card ever….all is right with the world.
on Feb 1st, 2009 at 3:05 pm
Dead guy and abandoned kids? Wow. Insanity!
I hope 35 treats you much better than that in the long run!
Kylas last blog post..[Almost] Weekend Update
AnissaM Reply:
February 1st, 2009 at 6:19 pm
I know!! What are the chances of both on the same night? I hope that means everything bad I’m going to see this year has already happened.
on Feb 1st, 2009 at 3:47 pm
Oh my gosh. What a terrible birthday! Geesh. But I can’t believe that they did not do anything to that mother! Are you kidding me?! What a load. She should be ashamed of herself.
AnissaM Reply:
February 1st, 2009 at 6:21 pm
I was horrified that they couldn’t even stop her and give her a warning or report her to child protective services or anything. We gave them her license plate number, hoping they’d hunt her down, but no.
on Feb 1st, 2009 at 5:32 pm
Wow. Just stumbled on your blog and am left with my mouth gaping open. Dead guy in a bar; little children left in the car – which they are obviously totally used to – what else?! Be happy you’re only 35, my AARP card has arrived .
Happy Birthday!
Wooliess last blog post..Trades!
AnissaM Reply:
February 1st, 2009 at 6:22 pm
LOL, welcome to my blog, Woolies! It gets better than this. or not. sometimes it’s worse. I hope you’ll come back.
on Feb 1st, 2009 at 7:52 pm
Hey Girl! Happy Birthday! A night with you is always fun, always memorable, but last night was unforgettable! Here’s to next year!
Love ya!
AnissaM Reply:
February 2nd, 2009 at 4:53 pm
Yeah…next year, kicking kittens and cow tipping! It’s ON
on Feb 1st, 2009 at 9:51 pm
I’m not a drinker but I can show you a good time in Nashville.
moosh in indy.s last blog post..renerfing. one ball at a time.
AnissaM Reply:
February 2nd, 2009 at 4:54 pm
I’m holding you to that promise, young lady!
on Feb 1st, 2009 at 10:59 pm
Wow! That is one bummer of a birthday celebration. My mind is blown by the fact that the cops could not do anything about that awful woman leaving her kids in the car. I can barely run to the ATM with out obsessing that someone is lurking around trying to take my kids if I leave them in the car.
AnissaM Reply:
February 2nd, 2009 at 4:55 pm
I know, right? Someone had told me that your kids had to be 12 to even legally be left in a car alone in a parking lot. I was shocked…apparently that doesn’t count if you can SEE them…see them freezing their tiny butts off!
on Feb 1st, 2009 at 11:14 pm
Dear Anissa,
Happy Birthday to you. I am glad your children saved the day. I hope you have a wonderful week. Today started your 35th year, and may it be one of good time, great memories, and happy moments splashed throughout your days.
Love,
Angela
on Feb 2nd, 2009 at 7:03 am
Geez, this birthday really did start out fantastic, didn’t it? So glad to hear your babies made it all better, though. Happy Birthday!!
The Lassies last blog post..Sack Race
AnissaM Reply:
February 2nd, 2009 at 4:56 pm
YEAH…my birthday should be sponsored by FEMA, right? Thanks!
on Feb 2nd, 2009 at 8:53 am
Horrible events on your birthday — but your best birthday present is Peyton’s beating the beast. More important than anything.
on Feb 2nd, 2009 at 9:41 am
I leave my kids in the car for nothing less than IHop.
Happy B-day, girl!
always home and uncools last blog post..Run for Someone’s Life
AnissaM Reply:
February 2nd, 2009 at 4:57 pm
That’s what I’m saying…Waffle House?
on Feb 2nd, 2009 at 11:01 am
OKAY…..that is not cool!
Leaving your kids in the car in 41 degree weather…..for Waffle House (Not that any reason is a good one….but GEEZ!)
Get your husband to make it up to you this weekend!
Queen of the Mayhems last blog post..The Mayhem Kids…..A Dichotomy of Behavior….AKA What Happened to the BOY?
on Feb 2nd, 2009 at 11:40 am
For real, look at the bright side of this wholly messy birthday.
You get braggin’ rights for freaking EVER. I can’t even begin to play, “most sucky birthday” game against you.
But yeah, it stinks. However, if it went without a hitch what would you be writing about today?
Happy belated.
Juliannas last blog post..Pragmatic Tortured Artist
AnissaM Reply:
February 2nd, 2009 at 4:56 pm
See, I don’t think I wanted to play that game! *weeps*
but I’m competitive and a win is a win, right?
on Feb 2nd, 2009 at 11:50 am
Wow, I would ask for another chance and hope it goes better. No surprise people would continue to dance … we are all way to desensitized. Pole dancing? Is that what you said? Too bad the hubby was out of town!!
On a different note … I sent this another way but perhaps you didn’t get it. Several weeks ago you had a post on where to send hair for wigs — and not to Locks of Love. I need the “right” place as my friend is ready to cut but wants it to go where it will be used properly.
Thanks Anissa, and yeah, happy birthday!!
AnissaM Reply:
February 2nd, 2009 at 4:58 pm
Wigs for Kids, Linnae! That’s the one, and you can use the search bar for “locks of love” and it’ll bring up that particular post. Thanks for remembering it and for sharing it with your friends.
LOVELOVELOVE!
on Feb 2nd, 2009 at 12:46 pm
I’m sorry your birthday sucked balls, but reading about it did make me laugh (and it’s all about me, right?) Glad your kids came through and made it perfect!
Ashleys last blog post..I’m coming out….
AnissaM Reply:
February 2nd, 2009 at 4:58 pm
As long as you laughed, my job here is done. At least someone enjoyed my birthday extravaganza. LOL
on Feb 2nd, 2009 at 12:48 pm
You win the “My Birthday Sucked” award, hands down! Try again in six months on your “half” birthday.
I was disappointed that the Waffle House incident didn’t end with the offending mommy (using that term loosely) getting a smackdown from your group. People like that make me want to be violent…
Happy Belated Birthday, anyway!
Jannas last blog post..I’m seeing spots…
AnissaM Reply:
February 2nd, 2009 at 4:59 pm
Oh it was so close! I wanted the cops to at least wait and pull her over for driving without car seats, but they were all “can’t do anything”. BOOOOO
on Feb 2nd, 2009 at 2:03 pm
Well, uh…hmm… I was going to try to think of something witty to write but there is absolutely NOTHING that can top this. At least you will never forget this birthday, huh?
Jen Ws last blog post..Faux fur or gopher?
AnissaM Reply:
February 2nd, 2009 at 5:00 pm
35..the year I opened a portal to the underworld and unleashed the demons of hell on the world.
Good times.
on Feb 2nd, 2009 at 3:51 pm
OMG! What a story! There are like five posts in one. Happy Belated Birthday. I hope the coming year holds health, happiness and prosperity for you!
Chriss last blog post..I’d like one. Seriously.
AnissaM Reply:
February 2nd, 2009 at 5:00 pm
You know, I couldn’t even make this stuff up if I tried. It’s like a really bad movie.
Thanks so much!
on Feb 2nd, 2009 at 5:26 pm
SHUT UP! SHUT UP!!! This did NOT happen!?!? Are you serious!! GIRL, this IS the making of a country song … and by what you said, I TOTALLY know where you were at …
… well, HAPPY DING DANG BIRTHDAY!!!
Hope it was great
The other Natalie
AnissaM Reply:
February 3rd, 2009 at 8:53 am
Nope, unfortunately is the dead truth. HEH.
Can you believe that? WHAT a night!
on Feb 2nd, 2009 at 7:56 pm
Holy Crap Cakes Batman! I thought my weekend was sh*&tastic. Dead guys and abandoned babies! Makes you glad to be alive. ugh!
If it’s any consolation, thanks for making me feel like an old cow. I’ve got three years on you sister and no one took ME out dancing for my birthday. Although the dead guy? I think I might have had one of those – I think it was my husband.
Fear and Parenting in Las Vegass last blog post..Epiphany Awards – January 2009
AnissaM Reply:
February 3rd, 2009 at 8:54 am
LOL, ok you just killed ME! On the floor, laughing, am dead now.
on Feb 2nd, 2009 at 8:21 pm
Happy belated birthday Anissa. Are you sure this all really happened. Seriously? Wow, just Wow. It can only get better I suppose!!
At least the Steelers won. Pete should be a happy boy next time you see him. He’ll have to make it up to you somehow!
AnissaM Reply:
February 3rd, 2009 at 8:55 am
I won’t lie, I watched the second half of the game…and it was so exciting..that was a really good Superbowl to the very end.
Totally happened, I couldn’t make this stuff up!
on Feb 2nd, 2009 at 9:20 pm
Did you mention to the police that none of the babies had carseats? Because if you did and the cops STILL didn’t come, then my opinion of our illustrious police force will have sunk to an all time low.
Caffeinatrixs last blog post..Bribery…It Works
AnissaM Reply:
February 3rd, 2009 at 8:55 am
Nope, no luck on them! I was disappointed. REALLY disappointed.
on Feb 2nd, 2009 at 10:00 pm
Wow…… Well, hun, guess there’s no other way to break the news, but there’s this little unknown law deep in the creases of a dusty lawbook somewhere, I think it’s in section 827.b-5, it states that any birthday that starts off with tragedy in public places and being witness to other people’s kids being put in danger’s way and ignored by the authorities… the law clearly states that you must spend the entire year celebrating yourself every single day.
I’m serious, it says that somewhere. I’m sure of it.
Man, I would have been oooooooooooooooooooooh so tempted to haul those kids outta that car, put them in my vehicle, take them to the nearest police station and tell them that I found them abandoned in a parking lot, offer no further information. See them deal with that!!!!!
JDs last blog post..Not Me Monday, Feb 2 2008
AnissaM Reply:
February 3rd, 2009 at 8:56 am
You? I love!
on Feb 2nd, 2009 at 11:47 pm
Ok, so. Dead guy. Kinda big buzzkill, for any occassion really.
But your new header is awesome, your kids rock, and let that be the WORST day you have to face this year!!!
brittanys last blog post..Two unrelated topics that bug me in equally irrelevant ways
on Feb 4th, 2009 at 6:10 pm
I honestly wonder why some people are able to reproduce (the lady in the restraunt – not you
) Grrrrr.
Megan (mommyesquire)s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday.
on Feb 23rd, 2009 at 8:01 am
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