Nathaniel: Hey, mom, you know that in, like, five years I’ll be able to drive.
I SWEAR every time he says something like that I can feel another hair going gray. It’s not even funny anymore.
Me: If you’re lucky.
Nathaniel: Dad says I can have his car then, and it goes really fast, so I think it’ll [...]
Posts Tagged ‘nathaniel’
DRAT! Foiled again
Chapter 4 of the Mean Parent Handbook: How to ruin your kid’s life forever
I am just sick this morning.
SICK!
Not EWWW-sick like I was last week during that nasty bout of stomach flu, but absolutely 100% heartsick this morning.
Why, you might ask yourself.
Because I had to be a freaking parent this morning! And it sucks. And I hate it. And I resent my kid right now for MAKING me [...]
On with the raping and pillaging!
Nathaniel turned eleven yesterday. We did the birthday celebration with friends and food and cake and ice cream and singing and WHEEEE! and lots of conversations revolving around the words “shoot”, “stab” and “fart”.
Good times!
…and yet.
The fact that my firstborn turned eleven wasn’t the biggest jab in the force field that keeps me safe from [...]
La La La, I can’t hear you!
Nathaniel - How did you sleep last night?
Me - Oh, pretty ok, except I got sick in the middle of the night (tremendously random 6 hour flu type sick) and then there was a really freaky dream…but other than that it was ok.
Nathaniel - What kind of dream?
Me - Oh, something funny, but not something [...]
…only when followed by the words “How much?”
The Boy Child: Is ‘ho’ a bad word?
Me (after some deep breathing and a few muttered curses directed at his father): Not if you’re a farmer. They use hoes all the time.
The Boy Child: Oh. Ok.
A moment of quiet and….3….2….
The Boy Child: Is there any other time it’s a bad word?
How deep do I really [...]
