There are a lot of topics that I just don’t touch on here.
But HEY, if I’m going to do it….let’s do them ALL!
I voted Obama
I’m a Christian, I believe in God and we have a good relationship
Coke will always be better than Pepsi
The chicken came first
I was a breast-feeding, co-sleeping mom, I still am….co-sleeping, not breastfeeding, that’s just creepy at five
Lee Harvey Oswald couldn’t have acted alone
Sex is a wonderful thing, I’m highly in favor of it for all consenting adults that are not named Nathaniel, Rachael or Peyton Mayhew. E.V.E.R.
I think they should legalize, regulate and tax pot
Han Solo totally shot first
Ok.
So.
Now that we got all that out of the way, let me REALLY ruffle some feathers.
I was sort of planning to just stew silently about this one and then someone poked me about it to see if I had an opinion….and you KNOW I did.
You may or may not be familiar with the situation with Daniel Hauser and his parents Colleen and Anthony Hauser.
Daniel is a 13 yo boy from Minnesota who was diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma in January. After one round of chemo, his parents decided the treatments were too poisonous and declined to receive anymore chemotherapy. They, instead, exercised their right to practice religious freedom and follow the teachings of a group called the Nemenhah Band and seek alternative treatments.
The case was brought into the courts, a judge ordered that an X-ray be done on Daniel to see if there was tumor growth and when the parents found out that the tumor in Daniel’s chest, which had shrunk from the initial round of chemo, had grown back to the pre-chemo size, the mother took the boy and ran.
The oncologist testified that Hodgkins Lymphoma can be treated with a 80-95% success rate (not CURE rate, mind you), and the judge ordered that Daniel be taken into custody of the court.
Now the hunt is on for Daniel and his mother…if they are caught Daniel will be treated by an oncologist with a chemotherapy regimen he doesn’t want, but his own lawyer says he does not read, has a learning disability, and neither the disease or treatment has been explained to him well enough for him to make a decision.
Ok, then.
I guess the first thing I want to say is to the mother: WHAT THE HELL is wrong with you, woman?
The Native American “religion” they are claiming to be a part of isn’t even affiliated with any Native American tribe and is, in fact, pretty much a money making scheme….where, for a mere $250 initial payment and $100 annual, PLUS monthly “donations” you can be spiritually adopted and given a certificate that pronounces you a natural healer.
A certificate.
Like I can make on Photoshop and print in my office.
Seriously? I can hit Google for FREE and have 1000% more medical knowledge than these people have.
Colleen Hauser testified that she had been treating his cancer with herbal supplements, vitamins, ionized water and other natural alternatives…which were OBVIOUSLY not working since his X-ray showed significant growth of his tumor.
Water. Treating cancer with water. Oh, how I wish they would prove that worked. *sigh*
The second thing I want to say to this woman is: WHAT THE HELL is wrong with you, woman?
For REAL. I GET it that chemotherapy is absolute crap. Trust me, you did one round, we did it for over two and half years straight with a fun stint in radiation land as a bonus. Yeah, it sucks. BAD. I hated every day of it.
You know what? I was also on my knees thanking GOD for providing us a treatment because, twenty years ago? 80% of the kids who had Peyton’s kind of cancer DIED…it was pretty much a death sentence.
No, it’s not a perfect world, the treatment isn’t perfect by any means. The treatments don’t know what they’re killing, good cells or bad, and it does leave the kids weakened to the point where they are so very vulnerable that every tiny germ is a threat.
It SUCKS! I said that already.
You know what?
It’s the best thing we have and the best chance they have to live.
So, in my book, if you chose not to treat your child with the best possible option (and if alternative medicines were able to prove they WERE the best possible option, go with it! but they haven’t yet, TRUST me, we checked out a bunch of options) you are gambling with your child’s life…and all the cards are stacked against them. Do you not want to at least give him a fighting chance?
The last thing I really have to say about this woman is that she offends me. I know there are going to be a lot of people who disagree with me, and I’m ok with that. There will be those that believe that parents have the right to decide what kind of medical treatment their child recieves and no court has the right to tell you otherwise.
Here’s the thing with that arguement.
If someone came into YOUR home and shot at YOUR child, you’d sure as hell want the courts to protect your child then. Why? Well, because no one has the right to threaten your child’s life. How dare someone come in and try to kill your child?
How is denying your child the only treatment known to successfully put his cancer into long term remission anything less than threatening his life?
How is the court NOT responsible for defending him against that threat as well?
No more than I would say that it is your right as a parent to drown your child would I say its your right to deny them life-saving treatment.
If they were physically abusing him, no one would argue that the courts should remove him from the home….yet people feel it’s wrong for the courts to say that they can’t let him die without trying a known treatment.
I know too many parents who’d be eternally grateful for one more shot at a treatment with even a 1% chance at success for a child gone forever. I know parents who would have grabbed greedily at an 80% success rate…it’s an improvement over “there’s nothing we can do”. I have seen how far parents will go to fight for their child’s life and still not win. I have seen the ones that have taken their child to the very brink and lived to tell the tale.
Yes. This woman’s disregard for her child’s life offends me. When we have battled so hard for ours.
I don’t get it.
And, yes, there is a point when you say “no more”. We’ve had that conversation. At what point do you say “enough”?
I know my line in the sand.
I know the limits I would go to.
It sure as heck wouldn’t be while my child still had a good, fighting chance at life.
OH, BTW?
This is Dana…one of our most beloved friends….21 years old…5 year survivor of Hodgkins Lymphoma…BIG tumor…six rounds of chemotherapy….radiation.
Quality of life? I don’t think she’d argue that she HAS it.
I know for sure she’s improved ours.
**************************
So, I’ve ranted, I’ve opinionated, I’ve wiped off my little soapbox and put it away.
What do YOU think the courts should do for Daniel? Do you think his mother should go to jail for contempt of court for not showing up to the hearing? What would you do if the courts ordered you to give your child a treatment you disagreed with?
Please, discuss!
on May 22nd, 2009 at 10:11 am
Anissa-I have been fortunate enough not to ever have to make that type of decision for my child, but I can tell you-as sure as I am sitting here-I would go to the ends of the earth to save her life! I believe when there is a reasonable chance of remission-or a cure, every opportunity and resource should be made the most of. Especially when there is obvious proof to this mother that the first round was effective in shrinking the tumor. I feel it is irresponsible of her to play Russian roulette with her son’s life. And for however unpopular it might make me, I’m right there with ya’ Babe!
Rhondas last blog post..Rainy days and Mondays always get me down……
AnissaM Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 1:05 am
I hope you never DO have to make that choice for your child, but I think *most* parents would want to make every effort to make sure that all possibilities are exhausted.
I’m glad to know that Daniel’s mom turned herself in and is getting her son the treatment he needs.
Ms. Mama Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 10:43 pm
This is such an interesting topic. For many reasons I’ve been thinking about the STATES/government involvement in childrearing, and in medical decision making.
As one parent of a cancer kid to another, I understand the exhaust all options opinion that you have. I can totally see your path. BUT as a one cancer parent to another, I can totally see why she, who has a TEENAGER, might react differently. Most of the comments have focused on the MOM, but, perhaps she was doing her darnedest to support the ridiculous notion that he didn’t want treatment anymore.
That is a true test of love. To support someone who is making a stupid decision.
I liked your comparison of protecting children from random shooters and such to protection from an abusive parent. I stopped and thought about it.
The hard part for me is this.
Why is it so important for the medical, legal community to fight to keep other people alive?
Bear with me here, I am trying to keep my child alive, despite what negative outcomes could arise from the treatment. The doctors warned us that she could have some difficulty post-treatment.
The National Children’s Cancer Society recently sent me a flyer with an upcoming seminar regarding the long-term side effects of treatment. Perhaps you got that one too?
I just find it curious that so many people have decided that the Hausers are dastardly because they might have chosen what is a stupid route. Obviously they have changed their minds, and will submit willingly to the poison.
I also agree with you that *most* parents shoot for the moon to keep their kids alive. Two ends of the spectrum here…… what about the ones that want to avoid the treatments and allow the child to die with dignity. Well, maybe there aren’t any of those, but on the other end, what about the ones that want to use herbal supplements to support and encourage the return to health. *Some* people,(perhaps the same ones who would criticize the Hausers for doing nothing) would say that using herbs is going to far.
Some comments about faith above were interesting. The Witnesses die all the time because they won’t take blood products. Even young ones. When I researched about transfusions, I found one *judge* who allowed the child to make the decision to die.
I also fully understand that you labeled this post a RANT… and that usually means that you, well, are ranting. And of course, rants, are not meant to be logical. Emotionally you said… CRazy lady, try it… it might work. But perhaps you should have said. You dumbass teenager quit thinking that you are invincible, Cancer is serious!!!! The media loves a good circus. Just look at how many comments you’ve gotten.
Keep up the good work.
Thanks for sharing, somehow I’d missed this news story completely.
on May 22nd, 2009 at 10:20 am
I’m someone who has spent some time asking people about their faith. What do they believe. Why do they believe it. How that belief shapes their actions.
Even back in my believing days, I always loved the phrase from Jesus “By their fruits you shall know them.” If something produces good results, then it is Good. If it doesn’t, it is Bad. It’s a simple system. In its own way, a scientific system: if it works, then good. If it doesn’t, then stop.
It seems, then, that a sin should be ignoring evidence when it clashes with your faith. I have no respect for this Hauser mother. She holds to faith – the “evidence of things not seen.”
Which means that once you see evidence that something is good – there is no longer faith. But knowledge.
Knowledge is there that can save Daniel Hauser’s life. If there wasn’t – if Daniel was dying of some currently incurable illness, or perhaps if they didn’t know what was wrong, then I wouldn’t fault Ms. Hauser for having faith in a cure for her son.
But there is a cure, it is known to work, it has helped millions of people.
Daniel is a child, and Ms. Hauser, by ignoring knowledge and reason, has shown herself unfit to be his mother. She should be in jail, her son taken and provided to those who will treat and, if its not too late, cure him.
He may hate the people who do that, as much as my child would hate me for forcing them to take a vaccine shot that protects them against disease. But I’ve seen the fruits of what science and medicine have brought us – and it is far better than the fruit of the willing ignorance that Ms. Hauser clings to.
AnissaM Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 1:08 am
Thank you, John, your opinion is SO well thought out and worded. It’s a hard judgment to make, I know I come from a very emotional place in it.
The faith/knowledge point was something I hadn’t really put together…and I feel you’re 100% right on that one!
on May 22nd, 2009 at 10:24 am
The poor kid.
I can’t imagine having THAT much conviction in a faith directing me to watch my child die with no interventions.
Marias last blog post..Girl Talk Thursday – terrible TV
AnissaM Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 1:10 am
The poor boy is finally back at home and in doctor’s care. I just hope that they are able to get his cancer back under control.
on May 22nd, 2009 at 10:25 am
We have also gone to the end of the earth to fight for our child’s life and back. We are at the 5 year mark of survival and still fighting against side effects BUT you know what? Without treatments, there is a 100% fact. Our daughter wouldn’t be here!
Like many other parents, going into the treatments was beyond any word but SCARY is about as close as can be put here I guess.
Were we at the point to second guess? Not on your life and certainly not on our daughter’s life. Cancer was taking her life, countless cells at a time. The cancer cells were choking at her cells at alarming rates.
We are grateful to God for cancer treatments. Yes, those horrible poisons as they are looked at. Those treatments that choke out both good and bad cells.
As much as people hate those treatments, then why do they stand in the way of current research trying to be done? Research that can improve treatment not only for cancer patients but many other patients fighting horrible diseases as well. Treatments for saving life is too often harsh.
Life is precious. People fight for life. In this case, Daniel’s parents are fighting for something it really seems they aren’t fully understanding and at the last minute, when it is too late, they will try to rush to save him. This happens far too much. In the last moments when he is trying to hold on to life, he is going to be wondering why his parents didn’t fight for his life.
These children who go through cancer treatments (my daughter has gone through treatments over 7 years) definitely know what they are fighting for. They understand the importance of life and sadly, when treatments stop working, they also understand everything was done that could be done. Often times, they are the ones who are doing the comforting for their families. They know their families, the doctors and everyone around them did everything they possibly could and then some more.
Cancer is horrible. Cancer sucks. Cancer is ugly. Cancer is painful. Cancer takes lives.
We do not give into cancer. Cancer is not unbeatable. Cancer does not always win. Many people survive cancer because they fight cancer.
My daughter is a 5 year survivor.
Tracy Solomon
AnissaM Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 1:11 am
Thank you so much for writing this, Tracy…I so want others to see that it’s not just one cancer parent losing her mind over this. You’ve been neck deep in it for so long, and you come with total honesty.
Love!!
Anissa
on May 22nd, 2009 at 10:31 am
Answers To You Questions:
What do YOU think the courts should do for Daniel?
Not sure that they can do much – but, if they can they should find him, give him a Guardian Ad Liem and treat him. End. Period. Children aren’t chattel, you don’t own them, you don’t make a decision when it comes to their lives.
Do you think his mother should go to jail for contempt of court for not showing up to the hearing?
Absolutely, freaking yes.
What would you do if the courts ordered you to give your child a treatment you disagreed with?
It would never happen so I don’t have to worry. I often question how those with evangelical beliefs are pro life but then don’t pro life their children. If you are truly pro life and believe that a baby is a baby from the point of conception and that their lives matter then why would you not do anything for them to live. To me, this is like putting your head in the sand and saying: LALALALALALA. At the risk of comparing it another contestable claim – the one that the Brewers Diet cures preeclampsia – read it on google – it works, it really does – I bet that there is even a wikipedia page on it and we all know that everything on the net is true. Just like the cure for obesity is taking some clay supplement that make you poop things that look like worms. I have to ask – WHY would you trust the internet with your life? HELLO PEOPLE – stop diagnosing yourselves and then expect the doctor to ‘clean it up’ when you are done and have waited too long and, god forbid if you die while under their care, sue them.
*PLEASE* – if you believe enough in the doctor to take your child and obtain the diagnosis WHY would you stop there and say, okay, thanks, appreciate it.
I wonder if this mother has ever had a child pass away in front of her. Probably not, she probably hasn’t dealt with the after effects of it either – either personally or through someone else’s eyes that they care about.
Rant done but honestly, I can’t understand this mentality.
AnissaM Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 1:14 am
Daniel’s mother returned with him to get treatment and the courts dropped all charges against her.
I’m so glad that she went back so he can begin chemo again, hopefully before the cancer is out of control, but I wonder if I’ll get pissy again if it doesn’t work because the unknown factor will always be “what if they hadn’t stopped the treatment that was working”.
on May 22nd, 2009 at 10:34 am
All I can say is… When they start asking God why He didn’t save their son God’s response will be “what do you mean? I gave doctors knowledge for the best treatment but YOU chose not to”. Personally, it breaks my heart.
on May 22nd, 2009 at 10:48 am
I elder-sit for about 50 hours a week and the lady LOVES her some CNN…and this was on nearly constantly and oh my blood boiled!
“What the hell is wrong with you, woman?” went through my mind so many times. Use your special water along with chemo if you really think it is going to make a difference. It just makes me sick because his odds are pretty good with chemo, without…not so much. I don’t believe for one second that the guy they are supposedly traveling with supposedly had Hodgkins and used these treatments for it and is fine.
And did you watch the interviews with the dad? I get the feeling he isn’t so on board with this.
Jennifers last blog post..no catchy title
AnissaM Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 1:15 am
I’m just really glad the got the mom to bring the boy back for treatment. I wonder if, even though they dropped the federal warrant, if they’ll have them CLOSELY supervised to make sure she doesn’t run again.
I just hope they get him back in treatment soon enough that the cancer hasn’t spread on.
on May 22nd, 2009 at 11:06 am
This story makes my blood boil. Thankfully, my children are strangers to the world of pediatric cancer. But I am not immune to having to make life saving decisions for my daughter. You see, she has an invisible disability called Pediatric Bipolar disorder. This is an illness that is treatable but requires many strong psychiatric drugs, some that have not been studied on children. I give them to her because I am left without a choice. Without these medications she might not be here as 30% of these kids commit suicide. Do I like putting these drugs into her body? No. Are the side effects awful? You bet. But they allow my daughter to live her life the best that she can. To the Mom who refuses chemo for her son, I say the authorities should lock her up. Our job as parents is to protect our kids and give them the best chances in life. She is failing her son.
AnissaM Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 1:19 am
It’s so hard when you have to weigh the pros/cons of treatment, any sort of treatment, for your child. But it comes down to wanting what’s best for them and giving the best chance of a good life.
Making the hard choices, jeeeeez, no one said this parenting gig would be easy.
on May 22nd, 2009 at 11:07 am
I am so oversensitive to the thought of anyone dying since my mom passed away last year, so this story just rips me to pieces. How can you claim to love someone and not do everything possible to keep them with you? Yes, the treatment sucks and yes, your child is going to suffer immensely during the process, but if it has been PROVEN to work in his case, why in the world would someone run from that?
I can almost see if the child had gone through several rounds and no improvement, seeking alternative treatments. No one wants their child to suffer to no avail. But it was working and from what it sounds, working very well. God put doctors in this world for a reason. He gave those who found treatments for diseases like cancer that knowledge for a reason. Otherwise, it just never would have been so successful. Period.
I have a 14 yr old boy myself, and at that age, they have enough reasoning ability to know what’s good for them and what is right. I’ll bet the child would be better off to make his OWN decisions about whether he lives or dies, rather than leaving his fate in the hands of his obviously incapable mother.
I hope and pray that they are found and that this boy is given the chance at life that he deserves.
Shannan Ps last blog post..Chic&Cozy Blanket Bag Review and Giveaway
AnissaM Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 1:21 am
Don’t know if you saw it, but the mom and boy are back home and he’s back under doctor’s care. I would love to talk to that mom and just encourage her to stick with it. It’s hard, I know I felt like running sometimes…more than once…but it sure wasn’t about MY needs.
on May 22nd, 2009 at 11:19 am
I love ruffling me some feathers! LOL
In all seriousness, I have watched this disaster unfold with such discomfort, of course for the people involved, but also because I am of two minds myself on the issue.
If it were my child, I’d do *anything* it took to save him or her. Period. We aren’t taking about a possibility of an outcome of a vegatative state, like after trauma. If treatment works, your child lives. Their life will be different, but they will have the chance to laugh and play and sing and learn and love and BE. If it doesn’t, you can sleep at night knowing you did *everything* possible and I imagine that is a tiny bit of comfort in the hell of losing a child.
But….
The idea of the government stepping into matters like this makes me so uncomfortable. Even if the intentions are noble, its a slippery slope. I affects me similarly to the way I feel about abortion….It’s not something I would ever choose for myself. But, having the government tell me they were making that decision for me would make me very uneasy. I can’t help but think if they have that kind of control over our medical decisions, how long before they decide other things for us?
I don’t really know what to think as far as what the gov’t should have the power to do or not. But I can not understand and I don’t think I ever will understand a parent who chooses not to take advantage of life-saving procedures for their child.
Angels last blog post..Blast from the past
AnissaM Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 1:23 am
You’re not kidding! You bring up some excellent points about how far do we let the gov decide for us? It is a very two-edged sword.
But I definitely think the courts do have a responsibility to protect the child against potentially life-threatening situations, even if the parents are the ones withholding treatment.
on May 22nd, 2009 at 12:17 pm
This is a subject that every time Ive heard about it, has made me upset. When I first heard about it, it was from a very opinionated person who believed that his mother had every right. I didn’t get too many details then, but from what I heard right there and then, I was disgusted with the whole set up. Having been on both sides (kid with cancer / courts taking the kids (for different reason) ) Im fairly confident with my answer that the boy should be treated. Personally, I don’t understand what kind of parent would deny their child treatments to something that has a possibility of a positive outcome. Heck, I grabbed a 50/50 shot with my daughter. I have to wonder, though, if maybe there is something that isn’t being told…atleast, to give her the benefit of the doubt…I could, rant on longer…but I will spare you…!
AnissaM Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 1:25 am
I just sort of wish there was an opportunity to talk with this mom and encourage her as a mom who’s been there….who’s wanted to pack up my kid and run away from it all. You and I both know it’s scary as hell to sign that paperwork and make that choice.
on May 22nd, 2009 at 12:38 pm
The only thing I take issue with here is that I know there are other religions (Jehovah’s Witnesses, Christian Science) that deny medical treatment, and nobody steps in. I know a little girl whose parents denied her a blood transfusion because it was against their religion, and she died.
So.
Are the courts only stepping in because this is not “a real religion”? Because the court shouldn’t be able to make THAT choice. They should intervene in all cases, or none. And despite the bullshit that this is (yes that child should receive chemo) I think if the courts are going to pick and choose when to call it religious freedom and when to call it child endangerment, well that’s bullshit too.
Miss Graces last blog post..Concession
on May 22nd, 2009 at 1:14 pm
On this one and a lot of the others above it (sorry, I believe the chicken McNugget came first), I am COMPLETELY with you. I can not imagine a parent not trying everything to help their child. Go with the alternative stuff too, but holy crap do what you must to try and save your child. Easy? Nope, but nothing in life is easy.
I think the judge did the right thing and I hope to god they find that woman and make her get her son the help he needs. In some cases, I think it should be up to the parents. Like when there is no hope, when the cancer has pretty much won and no treatment will help, then I think the courts need to step away and let the parents make their choice on how their kids pass. But until that point, I think it’s unfair to the kids, for the parent to not let them have the medical treatment they deserve.
Issas last blog post..Guest Post: Where real and imaginary blend together
on May 22nd, 2009 at 1:22 pm
One last thing. As an adult, it is your choice to forgo medical attention. But a child depends on the adults around him/her to make the hard choices. That is our responsibility as adults. To make the hard choices, do the hard things to help our children get to adulthood. That mom needs to remember that.
Oh and I agree with the person who wondered why take your kid to a doctor to see what is wrong with them and then not bother to do what the doctor says you need to do. Makes no sense.
Issas last blog post..Guest Post: Where real and imaginary blend together
on May 22nd, 2009 at 2:41 pm
Whoo boy! Ask one simple question …get a 15 page post! NOT that I expected anything different! I totally agree with the “What the HELL are you thinking, woman!” But, the person I think I am most angry with is the leader of her “religious sect” who I think is manipulating and using uneducated, fearful parents. Did you see he’d been arrested for fraud? They should arrest him, take the boy into custody, and save his life. I think they should do that for ALL religions that refuse medical treatments to a child. If an adult wants to refuse treatments, that is one thing. But you are right, that this is a form of abuse, and the government should protect the child. I pray they find her soon and get her son in for treatment. On another note, that Dana is one beautiful girl!
alaynas last blog post..Bringin Back the Fun!
AnissaM Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 1:26 am
This is ALL your fault!!
on May 22nd, 2009 at 3:08 pm
I have never been so much on the same page with anyone. (with all of your starter points as well)
I hope that they find Daniel and that they can still treat his cancer with a good success rate. And her, well…Karma is a bitch, ya know.
Heather @ Domestic Extraordinaires last blog post..Haiku Friday-Stand Up for Workers Edition
AnissaM Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 1:27 am
They totally got his mom to bring him back to start treatment. i’m so relieved for this boy.
I wish I had the chance to talk to the mom and just encourage her in her choice to come back…it’s hard to be behind that decision. But to show her, it does work for some kids, it’s not 100% by any means, but it’s the chance you take to give them a shot.
XOXO
on May 22nd, 2009 at 5:27 pm
You know, I am really stuck on this one. It’s a doozy. I do not yet have children of my own, but my sister-in-law died 2 years ago when she was 16 years old. She died of leukemia. 4 years ago she was diagnosed with Hodgkins lymphoma – went through chemo & radiation, and had a wonderful year thereafter.
When she became sick again, her doctors found she had a very rare type of leukemia that is CAUSED by radiation treatment. This personal experience makes me think, “ok, the courts should make Daniel undergo chemo, but they shouldn’t make him undergo radiation.” But, then again – chemo makes people sick too (I don’t know if it causes any other types of cancer).
It’s a toughie for sure – but, I think your analogies are really good.
shelleys last blog post..Ba-Dum, Dum, Ching!
AnissaM Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 1:31 am
you know, Shelley, the chemo DOES have the chance of secondary cancers…the radiation does too. And it TORE ME UP to have to put my kid through that.
That will always be hanging over Peyton’s head as a possibility. I’ve talked about the fact that because of her radiation she stands the chance of brain tumors.
God forbid that should happen, we’ve had GREAT years, we’ve treasured every moment we would not have gotten if we hadn’t done the treatment.
It’s a really rough decision to make and I would just encourage that mom to stay strong since she went back home so her son could restart treatment.
on May 22nd, 2009 at 8:40 pm
I agree with you on this!
My husband is a pediatrician, and I can say that when he has patients(or parents of patients, really) who aren’t compliant, it’s really hard for him. What’s the line between being non-compliant and being negligent? At what point do you get someone else involved?
And there are so many times that you *can’t* do anything, where you feel completely helpless…that when you do see something that you *can* fix (or try to fix), it’s nearly impossible to sit back and watch nothing happen.
I definitely don’t think doctors don’t have all the answers, but they don’t go through all that training for nothing. I’m totally cool with people questioning their doctors and doing their own research. I’m even supportive of some “alternative therapies”. But there comes a point at which you, as a parent, have to say I’m not the expert here and I need help. Doctors call electricians when they have a wiring problem, plumbers when they have a pipe burst, a roofing company when they need a new roof. Let the experts do their job!
Bridget/queenofhaddocks last blog post..I hate the beach. (Gasp!)
AnissaM Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 1:33 am
GREAT points from a ped’s perspective…thanks for sharing that. What DO the doctor’s do when they see a family being non-compliant? Especially when its not an ear-infection or strep throat, but life or death?
Our head oncologist has been known to take parents to court when he sees negligence, but where is the line in the sand?
on May 22nd, 2009 at 10:14 pm
First, after going through what you have, I can only imagine how much this makes your blood boil. It makes mine boil and I have healthy kids (knock wood)!!
I cannot fathom NOT doing everything possible to save my son’s life. To not work with as many doctors, healers, whatever to give him the best chance. I would never take my son away from something that was WORKING to something so absurd and use religion/faith as an excuse.
I get that her child is sick, and presumably, she is distraught and scared, but taking him out of treatment borders on murder in my opinion.
And I REALLY like what kp said – God is giving them the doctors with the best knowledge and they turned away. He can’t help if they don’t use the tools provided to them.
AnissaM Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 1:34 am
KP is a good friend of mine who had a daughter with cancer, her daughter didn’t make it….so when a parent who has lost a child to the treatment can stand up and say they’d take the time given to them rather than forgo treatment, that’s a pretty powerful statement.
on May 23rd, 2009 at 1:06 am
I fully agree! I could possibly understand if her son had been diagnosed with stage IV neuroblastoma or non operable brain cancer. If the survival rate was less than 5%..At that point I suppose I could understand just wanting him to live out the remainder of his days happy and healthy. What I don’t understand is a cancer being diagnosed stage I with a 95% cure rate not being treated.
My mom was diagnosed with stage IV large cell carcinoma with a zero percent survival rate and a two months at best survival rate.. one of the most difficult things I have ever had explained to me.. My mom still did chemotherapy and radiation knowing damn well it was not going to cure anything. They gave her two months she lived eleven months..that horrible treatment this woman is against gave my mom a year that we otherwise would not have had. That year translated into seeing two of her grandchildren get born and her baby (me) start college.. She was an adult though who lived 54 years.. so had she decided to forgo treatment and just be ok with dying I would have understood..maybe not agreed..but understood
I think this woman is an idiot. Her son has the chance to live a long and healthy life and instead she chooses to do this to him. There is no evidence that alternative medicine cures Hodgkins. I hope they find him and give him treatment and that he gets better and some day grow up to ask her what the hell she was thinking. It’s a slap in the face to every parent who has had to sit and listen to a doctor say that there is zero percent chance of survival
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AnissaM Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 1:36 am
GREAT points and thank you for sharing about your mom, i’m so sorry for you loss. Cancer is a nasty disease and I pray for the day we see real cures and understanding of the causes so we can prevent it.
Thank you for opening yourself up and telling a little of your story, it helps a know others feel the same way.
on May 23rd, 2009 at 2:01 am
So many have spoken so well about this…
Without beating around the bush, the mom is looney (whether originally that way or over her son’s diagnosis) and seems incapable of making an educated decision. I have no doubt that if I were in this situation, I would be doing everything I could to save my child (read:aggressive treatment).
I hope that this kid is able to get his treatment and out live his mom’s stupidity.
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on May 23rd, 2009 at 9:34 am
I couldn’t possibly add anything to this post. I agree with you 100,000%. I sure hope they find Daniel before it’s too late.
AnissaM Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 1:37 am
Mom turned herself in and Danie’s under doctor’s care again. It makes me so happy to know he’s got a shot, but sad for her because I know how it is to want to just GO GO GO.
on May 23rd, 2009 at 1:07 pm
My son had Hodgkins Lymphoma. HAD – HAD – HAD. He will be 5 years out in August. He had chemo and radiation too. And yes, it sucked and it hurt and all the other things that go with it.
But he is ALIVE today.
nuff said?
Jan
AnissaM Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 1:37 am
Thank you!!
Definitely nuff said.
XOXOX
on May 23rd, 2009 at 6:51 pm
What that mom is doing? There is a legal term for it: negligent homicide… or perhaps simply manslaughter.
There is way more chance it will save him than not? And she is his mom? And she chooses not to do it? Not only should the court step in to help the kid, but it should also arrest this mom.
People might not agree with me, but here’s why. Yes, I know parents should have a right to raise their kids the way they wish. That right does NOT give any parent a license to endanger the safety or life or pursuit of happiness of any child. That’s why we arrest parents for molesting, for beating, for restraining, and for any other manner of abuse.
And P.S. Anissa… I LOVE the beginning of this post. Because I had no idea you and I had so many controversial opinions in common. Now my girlie mommy blogger crush on you is even bigger. Hubbie will be thrilled. LOL.
Kelbys last blog post..Upcoming Social Marketing Webinar
on May 23rd, 2009 at 8:24 pm
I respect you for taking a stance on something you clearly believe strongly in Anissa.
I feel that I’m not in any position to give an opinion either way. Don’t have kids, haven’t been in this situation. I know children with cancer, but not my kids.
People believe different things, and there is a huge belief out there that organic diets and ionized or alkaline water can heal you. I even read someone who thinks drinking her own urine cured her cancer (ew). I worked with a lady who swears she cured her breast cancer eating only salad. Some ultra religious people believe that using medicine means you have no faith in an Almighty God who can heal anything. And some people are Scientologists (ugh…Tom Cruise…ugh) Some people think vaccinations are bad for you, others think they save lives. What I’m saying is that people have all these different beliefs, and sometimes those beliefs come down to life or death decisions. To what extent do we enforce those ideas?
You are one of the success stories Anissa, and thank GOD for that. But you know all too well chemo didn’t work for a lot of children, even those in the 80% category. I’ve seen kids suffer so hard at the hands of chemo, when it didn’t even save them.
Maybe we can’t judge someone who didn’t want to make her son suffer. She is following her heart…her son may pay with his life. Is that right or wrong….I don’t know. I know one mother whose child’s cancer has returned again and again, and she keeps putting her into clinical trial after trial – with horrifying side effects – and I can’t help but wonder if it’s right to keep putting little Mary through that. Right and wrong become very blurry in these situations.
AnissaM Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 1:44 am
You know what? You make some great points and valid arguments. It’s hard to say anything but an opinion. I sure wouldn’t want to have to be the judge in this one and try to be objective about it.
I have two sets of parents in similar situations of reoccuring cancers with their kids. After the cancer coming back again and again, one family opted to go home on hospice and let their child die in peace and the other decided to fight to the bitter end.
Was either choice wrong? No, I don’t think one bit wrong.
But, I do know in my heart that up until those points, the parents knew they’d done everything they could to fight it.
I don’t think I could live with myself if my girl died and I didn’t think we’d done all we could to try.
on May 23rd, 2009 at 9:07 pm
I’ve got an award waiting for you at my place! xoxo
AnissaM Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 1:45 am
Thank you!! XOXOX
on May 23rd, 2009 at 9:29 pm
I voted Obama
I’ve accepted christ, but God and I aren’t on good terms right now
Diet coke rules all
The chicken came first
I don’t want kids of my own, I want to adopt.
I don’t really have an opinion on Lee Harvey Oswald.
Sex is a wonderful thing, I’m in favor of it no matter if it’s between two women, two men, or a man and a women.
I think they should legalize, regulate and tax pot
Han Solo totally shot first.
As far as the cancer debate goes. I respect people’s choice in religion. But I don’t believe what this family believed was a religion. I feel that they were scammed by a fraudulent “tribe” (I don’t even want to call it a tribe) who claims that for a $250 “donation” every month they can make you a healer. I believe they were suckered into the “tribe” who claimed to have a magic cure for cancer. I think there should be more things to protect families from being duped into something like that. I believe there should be a choice if someone wants to go through chemo or not. Yes, it does work for some people and for some it doesn’t. My friend Josiah did chemo and radiation for a year before his cancer killed him. At the end, we knew that we did everything we could have done to help him. I wanted to see him live. The fact that he didn’t kills me every day, but I know we tried everything that we thought was best. And for me that has to be good enough.
on May 24th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
yeh… i’m with you when all i can think about when i see this is ‘WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, WOMAN?’
i think she should be put in a mental facility and evaluated… not necessarily permanently, but for some period of time at least. bc it sure seems to me she doesn’t have everything straight in her head.
MommyNamedAprils last blog post..Flashback Friday!
on May 24th, 2009 at 11:09 pm
Preach it, sister.
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on May 25th, 2009 at 12:32 am
I am as outraged as you are. What this woman is doing is criminal and insane. I cannot even begin to imagine and hope to God I never have to what it is like to have a sick child, but God forbid I ever did, I would do exactly as all (most) mother’s would do and go to the ends of the earth to find a cure.
Jessicas last blog post..Looth Toof
on May 25th, 2009 at 10:28 am
Amen! I totally agree. TOTALLY.
Kylas last blog post..The winners are…
on May 25th, 2009 at 5:11 pm
Can I sidebar – more into a big thorn in my side versus this individual situation??? The court and the powers to be jumped all over this – and granted maybe – most likely their intentions are admirable….and parents – well they “should have some say” but this is an isolated headline at the moment. What upsets me so much more is WHEN parents want, beg, grovel, sacrifice for medicine, a chance, a transfer to another hospital for another long shot in the name their love and desperation to save their child – and “someone” like the insurance company, or a specific limited protocol or our government and their funding priorities turns their back on cancer kids/families. Parents who are expected to raise the funds for more research or the opening of what may be their child’s last “hope” because of lack of funding get sorry little if any notice. If all those resources used to track down Daniel’s mom were used for “the big picture” then maybe I would feel comfortable adding my two cents about this individual situation. I am so saddened – and much more outraged by issues that effect large numbers of children and their families than one specific case. In any event – unfortunately as more information becomes public – about this one type of cancer and its positive treatment percentages, I hope this awareness doesn’t do more harm than good to the needs of the pediatric cancer “wish list” for awareness, funding, & support as the picture isn’t so rosy for all the kids …. no matter how much their parents are on the same page as their doctors/hospitals.
on May 25th, 2009 at 7:00 pm
The statstic for treatment are wrong. Only drugs from large drug companies get tested. Cancer is big business with lots of money being made. This discussion has alot of people who believe everything they see on television and points their fingers at others and yell–idiot.
Here are somethings that I know to be true:
a. Television makes you stupid.
b. Chemotherapy causes cancer.
c. The AMA is interested more in making money than “curing” patients.
d. Courts taking sick or healthy children away from their parents and putting them in foster care is wrong.
e. Smoking pot destroys the mind, body and spirit.
…and the list could go on and on.
Open your minds and heart and don’t be so quick to condemn anyone to a punishment you would not want to be placed on yourself.
AnissaM Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 1:52 am
Greg,
I’m sorry that my words led you to believe that my heart isn’t open to Daniel’s mother’s pain. TRUST me, because my child DID have cancer, I know personally what it’s like to sit and stare at the door and wish that by leaving and running it would all just go away. But I never would have risked my child’s life based on my fears.
Here are some things I know to be true:
1. People who make wide, sweeping, generalized, black and white statements are often the most closed-minded
2. Cancer causes DEATH, so if chemo gives us a chance, I’ll take it.
3. There are MANY situations when taking a child away from their parents is more than right, it’s an absolutely necessary situation for the child’s safety and well-being
4. you want the money for medical research into potentially life-saving treatments? Tax the hell out of pot and rake in the money and funnel it into clinical trials
I hope that if I ever made a decision that put my child in harm’s way and threatened their life someone would step in and make the hard decision for me.
on May 26th, 2009 at 11:44 pm
Anissa, two things…one, did you hear that the mom came back? She accepted the doctors advice. Hopefully she follows through this time. Two, don’t listen to Greg. He’s an asshat.
Greg how could you come her and say that to someone who’s child is alive right now because of treatment? Shame on you. Keep your opinions to yourself, because you sound like an uneducated moron. You want to tell Anissa to open her heart? Maybe you should have done that before you started typing.
Issas last blog post..Guest post: my 200th post, written by Mrs. Chicken
AnissaM Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 1:53 am
LOVE you!
I responded to Greg as well, thank you for defending me
My honor? Saved by you!
on May 27th, 2009 at 1:45 am
Greg – You? You have NO idea.
Obviously.
Chrissis last blog post..Facing the world
on May 27th, 2009 at 8:45 am
Sorry that you must call me names… I hope it makes you feel better.
I hope you are never in the position that the state wants to take you children away–someone else deciding for you what it “safe.”
I pray that you child recovers from Leukemia.
…as I pray that my three year old daughter with ALL recovers. I still wonder if life itself is worth it at all cost. What about quality of life?
Maybe you are not as smart and intelligent as you imagine yourself. You certainly think you have all the answers.
And by the way…the comment was just as much of a response to the proceeding witch-hunt mentality of all the comments. I would be a fool to think you would not attack me also.
on May 27th, 2009 at 11:36 am
…and by the way–FYI
my daughter has ALL and she is getting chemotherapy.
My younger brother died of cancer when he was five.
Chrissi: to state I don’t have a clue…is so far from wrong. However, I am sorry for your loss. Appreciate and rejoice in what you have.
SOMEONES SPIRITUAL BELIEFS ARE ALWAYS VALID…REGARDLESS HOW YOU THINK OR FEEL DIFFERENT.
We all have the obligation to honor and protect the various religious beliefs…it is what America was founded on and if we lose that then we are all lose.
Colleen Hauser’s son is sick with cancer.
Come on people, treatment is never a guarantee for survival.
What chance does David have when he is emotionally traumatized by being removed form his family.
Does the government have the right to dictate beliefs as valid or not?
And remember, THERE IS NOW GUARANTEE FOR SURVIVAL, EVER!
I added a comment to this post to open the discussion to an intelligent debate of ideas. I made no personal attacks against anyone. I just asked for some Compassion for the Hauser family.
It is evident to me that regradless of what you think that you believe…
YOU TOO WOULD BE IN LINE TO NAIL JESUS TO THE CROSS!
Be careful who you follow, SHEEP!
Issa Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
Greg, you might want to take a deep breath before you comment next time. I’m sorry that your child is ill. I can not even imagine.
I’m sorry that you believe that chemo causes cancer. But I think you have taken a side and are arguing it without looking at it from all sides. You’ve decided to go with chemo, to try and help your daughter. If you really believed that it causes cancer, as you stated in an earlier comment, why would you do it? My guess? Because you do believe it will help her survive.
That was the point of this post. That chemo is a life saving tool. It saved Anissa’s beautiful little girl. Does it always work, hell no. It’s a tool to try and help save a life. Daniel Hauser’s mother decided to take off, to not give her son that chance. To not even try and the courts interceded. That is what this post was about. Because Daniel deserves that chance to survive, just like Anissa’s daughter had and your daughter has.
In case you haven’t heard, Daniel’s mother brought him home and his now getting her son treatment.
Please stop attacking my friend. In just stating you are not attacking her, your following sentence was a blatant attack. Let it go. Agree to disagree. Or f’ing A, just hit the little red x at the top of the screen.
Issas last blog post..A little bit of random…but hey, that’s what I’m best at
on May 27th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
I appreciate hearing your opinion as someone who’s been through this with her own child.
As a rule, I dislike government interference, but this case is complicated. Thanks for speaking up!
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on May 27th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
Wow this one is very hard…I am thankful that I have never been put in that position with my children, so I am not sure what I would do. My best friend died from Leukemia when she was 22 she went through the radiation the chemo the bone marrow transplant and none of it worked. My 6 year old nephew has a brain tumor they are doing chemo…he is responding to the treatment but the side effects as you know have been very hard. But like I said he is responding and that is what matters.
It is hard to know as a parent what you would do in that situation. I am not sure why this mother ran with her child, I can understand the fear of chemo how hard it is. I am glad the boy is getting treatment especially since it seems that it’s very treatable.
My real concern with this is the state stepping in so many times they have overstepped their bounds and as one person commented this is a slippery slope when we start giving all this power to the state. In this case they probably were right what concerns me is the times when they are not.
on May 29th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
Anissa~ as I started to read this post, I realized I was holding my breath. I too have an opinion on this situation, but know that I have no real life experience that makes me feel the way I do.
As soon as I read the title, I wondered, “Anissa has been in this mother’s shoes – she has been given the diagnosis on her child – she has suffered through the anguish of exploring treatments – how does she feel?”
You answered eloquently, passionately. I agree with you – I can’t imagine as least TRYING – at least following the treatments that have the greatest chance at survival. But I say that from the comfort of my home, hearing my kids, who have not been affected by cancer, play in the next room.
You are a strong woman, an amazing mother – and truly your daughter’s best and most fantastic advocate. She is lucky you would go to the ends of the earth for her.
xoxo
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